(Closed) SO thinks I'm ungrateful for wanting a moissanite

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 182
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@Anamagana:  I think she’s more…”it’s none of their business….”  But maybe.  I don’t know.  

Post # 183
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

[Post moderated for personal attack]

Post # 184
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

its not happening in your backyard, why does everybody care so much?  sorry…only mean thing i had to get that out.

 

so what, all us girls have dreams, what i don’t like is the SO not caring about her dream and not trying to understand it.  if it were the other way around, i’m sure she’d hear him out about buying a sports car vs suv and educating herself on alternatives.  they should love each other enough to do that.

Post # 185
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

page 6 page 6 page 6 I’m just waiting

Post # 186
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@yellow7404:  I think she meant, I will just say whatever because it doesn’t matter.   I don’t want to argue about it, though!  I just think she’s not expressing herself well.

Post # 187
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@CorgiTales:  See, this is why I was scared to step in here Tongue Out

Post # 188
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

View original reply
@peachacid:  But she specifically said she wants this because it will look like a diamond and she doesn’t want to consider other gemstones because they won’t look like diamonds. It is pretty clear I think that she wants everyone to assume it is a diamond and if pressed on the issue she’ll feign ignorance to avoid the issue. 

View original reply
@puppiekisses:  lol good question on the why people care. I guess just because it is kind of shocking/sad and you feel like you want to break through the materialism and make her realize this is not worth fighting with her bf about it. As for the second question, I don’t understand how she/others don’t understand why her bf wouldn’t want her engagement ring, the tangible symbol of their engagement, to be something she lies about (either outright or by omission). 

 

View original reply
@jumpthegun:  lol, be fearless. πŸ™‚

Post # 189
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
@futuremrskgt:  Agreed! No need to make the OP feel bad. I also agree that maybe educating your SO about moissanites and coming from a different angle may be more productive and effective so he doesn’t feel like it is a dig against him (which it sounds like it was not your intention). I understand feeling guilty about spending his money. I was weird about that with my Fiance too! I think the issue was just your approach so I hope you can have an honest conversation about it and consider all options. It is your ring and you should not worry about what others think. It is between you and your soon to be fiance so get what makes you two feel good! There was some good advice given here. Good luck!

Post # 190
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

View original reply
@Lillianna:  Yes, I do consider all of those things dishonest.  And I have come across much worse cases of dishonesty too.  There are lots of different levels of dishonesty.  It’s a spectrum.  Just because someone telling you they’re a rule following guy who wants a big famiy while secretly being a child molester who beats his wife is a bigger lie than wearing a padded bra or trying to pass off a moissy as a diamond doesn’t mean they’re not both lies.  Present yourself for what you are and don’t be ashamed of what your Fiance can afford to get you.  Wanting a big stone is very different than wanting people to believe your Fiance spent a fortune on a diamond when he didn’t.  And people will be able to tell it’s not a diamond, just like they can tell when your bra is padded, you’re wearing false eyelashes, your facebook is photoshopped, you dye your hair, and one of your teeth is fake.  You’ve just provided even more evidence than I did on how you don’t like to present the real you to the world.  πŸ˜‰  

Btw, not advertising those things is very different than leading them to believe an untruth.  If someone asks you if it’s a diamond, you should say no and say you preffer moissy.  If someone compliments your beautiful eyelashes, you should say “Thank you, they’re by Maybelline” with a smile.  If someone comments on your perfect teeth you should say “Thanks, modern dentistry is amazing isn’t it?”, and so on.  If you don’t respond similarly to the examples I gave you then you are lying.  

Post # 192
Member
225 posts
Helper bee

I can’t believe I read through nearly 5 pages of all this nonsense…this is not about moissanite vs diamond…this is about a man who is planning to get down on one knee to ask you to be his wife and spend the rest of your life with him…While I do think it is acceptable for a woman to communicate their desires/wants in their choice of a ring, I think you already have done that. This is a gift to you, not a mutual decision.

Post # 193
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@Lillianna:  I totally hear you.  It’s like people saying that a polo shirt is a fake because it doesn’t have the Ralph Lauren polo pony insignia on it.  Moissanite is great, it looks fantastic, and it’s a great bargain compared to diamonds.  What’s the big deal if 99% of the population can’t distinguish it from a diamond?  Am I going to say “oh you’re wearing a fake polo shirt because it doesn’t have the polo pony on it?”  Nope. 

Maybe that isn’t an exact analogy to the situation, but it conveys the feeling.  Why not get an inexpensive Gap polo shirt that is great and does the job, rather than paying 4x as much for a status logo?  Doesn’t make sense to me personally. 

To each their own.

Post # 194
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No judgement here, I think it’s great that you are so light hearted about it.. lol! Get what makes you happy. Pretend it’s a diamond, or be proud its a moissy, who cares? You’re not hurting anybody. Tell him he can get you just a band or the moissy for now and the diamond later if he insists. 

One of the guys at work told me the other day that his mother used to say “fake flowers for fake people” and now he hates the idea of fake flowers. It makes me giggle every time I think about it. I don’t know why imitations upset people so much except that maybe it diminishes their own ego in some way.

Everywhere you turn in life you’ll see imitations of beautiful parts of nature that perhaps one could not afford to feast their eyes upon on a daily basis otherwise. As long as you’re not promoting it as something it’s not (lying will definitely bring bad karma), it’s no ones business to try to classify your ring except your jeweler πŸ™‚ 

Post # 195
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

View original reply
@smcs28:  +1  Seriously, I’m totally with you on everything you’ve said in this thread.  πŸ™‚ Why can’t people just be happy with who they are and not try to convince people they’re something else?  (I would mention where I got the pie from and what brand of hair dye etc too.  It just seems strange not to.)  To me lies of ommision are the same kind of wrong as flat out making something up.  Not saying anything about the pie, the hair dye, the false eyelashes, and a myriad of other things is a lie of ommision in my book.

View original reply
@futuremrskgt:  I think the OP’s responses tell us a lot about her personality.  I think her personality is very likely causing underlying issues between her and her Fiance that have manifested themselves in the conversation about rings.  I think that’s very relevant to this thread.

View original reply
@starla:  I’m just going by my own experience on this one.  I’ve always been able to tell the difference between different stones.  Even if I’m not in the majority on this one, I can’t possibly be the only one who can tell fairly easily without needing to look closely.  In fact, I know I’m not.  There’s tons of threads on the bee where girls mention their Fiance can tell the difference between a moissy and a diamond every single time while ring shopping.  Like I said before, I’d never heard of a moissy before reading the bee, but I could still tell the difference between them and diamonds.  Now that I’m better educated I realize I was looking at moissy sometimes, rather than “something that’s not a diamond” which was my thought process before I knew what a moissy was.

View original reply
@CorgiTales:  +1

Post # 196
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@AllTheGoodUsernamesAreTaken:  I can’t tell the difference between stones at all.  I look at them all the time now and just see…clear stone or colored stone.  I mean, I know the difference between like periodot and emeralds, but not between different “white” stones.  

Oooh there should be a poll about this…

The topic ‘SO thinks I'm ungrateful for wanting a moissanite’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors