So this is totally TMI, but…

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
  • poll: On a scale of 1 to 5, how much do you stink it up?

    1/5 - No noticeable smell at all. I swear!

    2/5 - A little bit of stink, but it's mild and quick to dissipate.

    3/5 - It definitely stinks, but it's not too bad as long as there's a fan or air freshener.

    4/5 - Seriously smelly and lingering. It's wise to give it 15 or 20 minutes to air out.

    5/5 - Seriously smelly is an understatement. You do NOT want to go in there for at least 30 minutes.

  • Post # 2
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2021

    Poo-Pourri on Amazon. Buy some and then buy some back-ups. FH and I also share a bathroom.

    Post # 3
    Member
    7499 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    Lighting a match (I swear there’s not enough methane to explode the bathroom!) is more effective at getting rid of the smell than air freshener. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1520 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    bakerbee09 :  I came here just to say this! That stuff is AMAZING!!!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2670 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    Lol I feel you! 

    If my husband is unfortunate enough to go in the bathroom right after me there is always some sort of joke. I used to be really self conscious about it, my husband is the first person I don’t really feel that way with. 

    i told him when we buy a home id really like my own bathroom lol.

    The poo-pourri is a good suggestion though! 

    View original reply
    katamaran :  

    Post # 6
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2021

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    TheMrsTulip :  100% life changing. I found a Groupon deal like 2 years ago I got 4 full sized bottles for like $15!

    Post # 7
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted for 3/5, but asked hubs his opinion and he says 2/5 for me lol

    Post # 8
    Member
    1204 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Most of the time there may be mild unpleasantness that lingers for a few minutes, but every once in a while I can stink up the joint. 

    However, whatever I leave behind can’t even begin to compare to the olfactory assault my DH lays down on a daily basis.  I mean I literally worry for his health, cuz I cannot believe a system that produces that kind of stench can be operating properly. 

    Luckily we have 2 bathrooms and when he needs to he will use the guest bathroom instead of the master.  Although honestly even that isn’t enough to save my nose sometimes.  It is truly rank

    Post # 9
    Member
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    I’m somewhere between a 2 and 3 but keto hasn’t helped. We have always had 2 bathrooms though so we can go whoever we darn well please lol. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee

    Poo-pouri for the win. I have a friend who’s a stinker and she uses incense 🤧

    Post # 11
    Member
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn

    View original reply
    bakerbee09 :  I second this! It works really well. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2559 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Double flush. Seriously, it helps 

    Post # 13
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    View original reply
    katamaran :  I read this out loud to my boyfriend and he chuckled then said “hmm, sounds like us.”

     

    My boyfriend and I went on a cross-country trip last year and day two, my stomach got upset. Unfortunately, the bathroom was right next to the front door of our hotel room, no fan, and the windows only opened about 6 inches since we were on a higher floor. Poor boyfriend. I know how much he loves me because he’s still with me after that incident.

    I was in there for like half an hour and the smell started to waft out into our hotel room. He started complaining that the smell was awful and I’m sure the neighbors down the hall would have too. He asked what was going on and I yelled through the door “I just shat a dick”. He was immediately curious, probably thinking there is no way a petite young lady could birth such a hellish demon and live to tell the tale. He sat near me until I finished, determined to see if I was human or beast. I begged him not to look, to go sit on the bed and watch tv, but he persisted; he must have thought I was joking. As I got off the toilet, he got a glimpse before I could flush the toilet. His eyes got wide, he gasped, and immediately yelled out “Baby! That’s not a dick, that’s a bat!”….as in baseball bat. He was in sheer awe and probably fear. I think the only reason he managed to grab his jaw off the floor was because he would have choked to death on the radiation.

     

    Shortly after that, I was staying at his house and he ran out. Again, the mood struck and I guess I was feeling lucky. He was running errands, I was upstairs in his bedroom and his bathroom had a closed off toilet room; I thought three doors, a bathroom vent, a floor fan, and two open windows could save me.

    It could not.

    My boyfriend walked in ten minutes later to find me adorably sprawled out naked on his bed (not in a sexy way, I take all my clothes off to reduce collateral damage), enjoying a summer breeze. It was then that he walked through his closed bathroom door and opened the second door to the toilet, and I heard a violent coughing. Immediately, my boyfriend burst back into his bedroom screaming “what the fuck was that baby!?”. He still talks about my “chemical bomb” to this day. He says I could be a terrorist.

     

    On the bright side, that was a year ago and he’s since asked me to move in, I’ve also met his entire family, and we’ve looked at houses (with plenty of bathrooms). So there are ways to work past it.

     

    ETA I asked my boyfriend how bad I am 1-5 and he immediately said 5. Then I read the descirptors to him and he looked at me like I’m deaf, then said “YEAH, FIVE”.

    Apparently I’m so legendary, he likes to tell his friends about it (but only the friends I’m close to who I’ve personally made fucked up jokes with, I’m fine with him joking about it with this friend). So we’re sitting at breakfast and my boyfriend turns to our friend and says “oh, so downonmulberry blew it up last night”. Our friend turns and looks at me and I nod sadly. My boyfriend silently holds out his forearm and points, our friend chuckles and my boyfriend says “I’m not joking”. Our friend then chuckled again and said “yeah, last week my girlfriend shit a tree trunk”. I’ve also seen my boyfriend and brother joke about it before, saying things like “it’s either deer pellets or a fucking boa constrictor”. I’m sure somewhere in the world, my hateful offspring are terrorizing a river community or perhaps a harbor, or maybe roaming the sewers snatching up small animals that get too close to the sidewalk drains.

    Post # 14
    Member
    459 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    I second lighting a match.

    But I think my husband and I, we both smell/stink about the same and we just laugh about it or warn eachother and make jokes.

    Post # 15
    Member
    685 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Nashville, TN

    My husband and I do what we call a “courtesy flush”. Right after it all comes out just flush right away! Don’t let it linger. Then wipe up and do another flush. Works for us. 

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