- 4 years ago
aintnothinbutabeethang: You want a pep talk? I’ve got a bunch of happy facts/anecdotes/ideas for you:
1. Julia Child married Paul Child at the age of 34. They had one of the most beautiful love stories ever. He was 44. AND that was in 1946. I’m sure she got asked the same rude, annoying, obnoxious questions that you do. You should read My Life in France! She didn’t even learn to cook until she was in her 30s. I think she did ok 🙂
2. My brother just got married for the first time (at 36) to an awesome woman (40) and they’re super happy.
3. A lot of this is regional. I’m 28 and I live in NYC. I’m the only one of my friends that’s married. None of my other friends are even engaged and about half of them are single. My friends from my old hometown (small town USA) started asking me when I would get married when I was 21. Half of them are divorced with kids now.
4. Lots of people have multiple marriages. Just because these people got married in their 20s does not mean they’ll all still be married in 10,20,30 years.
5. People have trouble envisioning a life that isn’t their own. Darling Husband and I don’t want kids. People feel sorry for us, ask us about it all the time (including at our wedding, yes really), they are convinced we’ll change our mind. I used to get mad about this but the real truth is that they’re happy having kids, they love us, they want us to be happy, and they think the only way for that to happen is kids. We’re already happy!
6. Everyone has their shit. Yeah, I got married in my 20s. But guess what? Darling Husband doesn’t have a college degree yet. He’s still in school full time (and working full time). His schedule is insane. I’m a freelance writer and make very little money. We’re frugal and make it work but all of our friends go on extravagent vacations all the time and we don’t. We still rent a tiny apartment and live like college students. Those people nagging you might just be trying to justify their own decisions and push aside the things they don’t love about their lives.
7. Love is awesome! You’re not wrong to wait for something that feels right.
8. Girl, stop that “what if” train right now. That shit will make you miserable because people only play it with things they covet and they forget that there are infinite “what ifs”. Yeah, what if you met your dream guy years ago? OR- What if you were born in a third world country? What if you didn’t have any friends? You don’t spend time worrying and fretting over that so don’t think about the perfect dream what ifs either.
9. Remember all the excitement in uncertainty! When you were 19 you weren’t worried about not being married, right? You saw the future as a vast thing with millions of options! That’s still the case for you! If you want to move to another country you can. If you want to switch careers you can. If you want to stay out all night you can. You don’t have to worry about factoring another person into your plans! There’s a lot of excitement in that stage of life!
10. You sound like you’re doing it all right! You should be just living your life!!!! Enjoy the now.