(Closed) So tired of the weight gain lecture! !**warning vent inside**

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m only 11 weeks so haven’t gained any weight yet but try not to take it to heart. They only want what is best for you and your baby. I do think they expect larger women to lose some weight while pregnant, which is where that net 10lbs comes from. I think that would be very difficult considering I’m starving all the time! But, as long as you’re eatin healthy and doing your best with exercise that’s all you can ask for. Don’t let it get you down.


Post # 4
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

you need to find a different doctor, one who is all size friendly.

check out this website. it’s full of lots of information and research.



There have been studies that show that restricting weight gain in pregnancy for overweight women did cut down on the risk of c-section… but it also resulted in more premature births and low birth weight babies. 

In the end, you and your body know what’s best for you. If you feel you are being healthy, don’t let someone make you feel bad about it.


Post # 5
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Mewithoutyou:  I would consider phoning around for a different doctor who is more welcoming of you – because my first instincts would be that you need to focus on being healthy and comfortable and not to agonise over your weight…

Post # 6
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I agree with PP, the stress of how this makes you feel can’t be good. I would try and find another doctor or even tell my doctor how it was making me feel. My doctors have always been very realistic and kind about weight. They’ve recognized it’s a struggle and something a lot of people deal with in their lives. It’s not an easy thing to just “go lose some weight”. I focus on being healthy with what I eat (most of the time) and working out. I think if you do that, you’ll be fine.


Post # 7
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My slightly overweight cousin asked if she could turn the other way on the scale so as to avoid becoming anxious about her weight.  Luckily, her doctor was open minded and supportive.

I have a normal BMI and gained 50 pounds and never got lectured about it.

I agree that you should find a more encouraging doctor.  They should encourage you to be healthy and to have a healthy pregnancy without lecturing you.  You do need to strive for a healthy, balanced diet in order to maintain a healthy pregnancy.  You need to be given tools and support to achieve this, not made to feel badly about it.

Post # 8
1531 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Mewithoutyou:  you need to find a new doctor.  some doctors are really obsessed with weight and are insensitive.  As long as you are eating healthy for you and your baby do not worry about what the scale says!

Post # 9
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Mewithoutyou:  So…yeah.  This blows.  

I agree that, if possible, you should try to find another doctor. If you’re brave, you could try talking to your current one and explain that while you understand that he/she does not want you to put on much weight during your pregnancy, you have issues with weight/body image and this is causing you stress.  It’s also possible that they are saying 10 pounds because they want you to be very conscious of what you are eating. My sister was told “only gain 15”.  She gained 20 and her doctor was pleased because the point was for her not to gain 50 pounds, for example. 

I refused to look at the scale during my pregnancy, which was supported by my doctor. I just wanted to know if there was a problem.  At one point, I lost weight…one month I gained 8 pounds. 

There is a enough stress and shaming/”don’t do/eat this or your baby will die/be dumb/underweight/overweight/etc during pregnancy. You don’t need this and it’s not necessary to put up with it.

Post # 10
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Mewithoutyou:  So I know doctors are concerned about too much weight gain and all, but your doctor sounds like an ass if he/she keeps reminding you how much you weigh and how you are only supposed to gain 10 pounds. I would find a different doctor. You really don’t need that stress right now.

Post # 12
4944 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s possible she has a range of “acceptable” weight gain that she has referenced for years. The figures she’s referencing are the same as I was taught in University years ago. It’s not really realistic IMO, as most women I know gain like 50lbs… but really, these are the ranges in the textbooks. She is just doing her job honestly. There’s no nice way to tell a patient to watch their weight. It would be medically irresponsible not to take it into consideration and not talk to you about it. If she’s coming across rude though, just tell her being reminded about it constantly is stressing you out. Did she help by referring to a dietician? By that I mean to help with a nutritionally dense, healthy diet if she was so concered. 


Post # 13
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Mewithoutyou:  My SIL was a pre-pregnancy size 18-ish, and her doctor told her not to gain any weight. She was 15 pounds lighter after giving birth!

She completely cut out fast food, and tripled her fruits and veggies intake. She said maintaining her weight wasn’t actually that bad, and she felt pretty good.

She did wind up with preeclampsia, but her baby was born happy and healthy at 39 weeks, and 6lbs3oz!

10 pounds really doesn’t sound like much, but just look at it as a goal! And if your doctor REALLY harasses you about it, find a new one. Maybe he’s just a douche!

Post # 14
3697 posts
Sugar bee

That sounds really manipulative about the records, frankly. I would call around to see about finding a new provider, then go and pick up my records in person and physically hand-carry and deliver them to the new office.

This whole situation sucks, but what you’ve described sounds like a doctor I would find it impossible to trust, which is just an all-around not-good scenario for any woman going through pregnancy and (especially!) birth. It just sounds like this doctor/office enforces a “my-way-or-the-highway” approach to things, which does not set women up for positive birth experiences. And when they make the argument that they do things that way because “all we want is a healthy mom & baby,” it’s pretty clear that they are being reductionist about it and only thinking of immediate physical health – they are not looking at the big picture of mom’s mental and emotional health and how that impacts how the pregnancy, birth, and newborn are integrated into the rest of her life, whether her risk of postpartum depression might increase, how this experience might impact future pregnancies, etc.

I know it seems like a big hassle, but I would at least look into a couple of options as far as transferring to a new provider. If you decide to just suck it up and deal, you are guaranteeing yourself more stress and misery for the rest of the pregnancy, right? If you at least look into other options, you have a chance of finding something much better, and you can vote with your feet and send this doctor a message that s/he needs to find a better way of communicating with patients on weight issues. Even if the basic message of “don’t gain too much” remains unchanged, there are better and worse ways to address the topic with patients.

Post # 15
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Seeing as how you are 31 weeks and you have only gained 15 lbs, I think you are on the right track!  So don’t worry about what they say.  Even if you gain another 10 lbs, I don’t think it will matter much.  If you are eating healthfuly and exercising, that’s really all you can do.  After that you just gain what you gain.

It’s hard to keep your resolve to eat well and excersise for those last few weeks – but try!  Even though I only put on around 25 – 30 lbs, I feel that I put on some unnecessary weight towards the end and I’m now 6 weeks pp and I’m still up 12 lbs.

Post # 16
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@Mewithoutyou:  I encourage you to check out this article. Part of it talks about the relative risks of gaining more or less than the targeted amount of weight. It should set your mind at ease about how you’re doing on weight gain, and help you to take the pressure from your doctor with a grain of salt, at least.

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