(Closed) So tired of waiting for the separation to be over.

posted 6 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MissCalifornia:  It’s so hard to be in a situation you hate so much, knowing that all you can do is wait it out. My fiance is going to be out of town for 4 months starting this weekend, and I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it. We’re trying to plan one visit each month, but the day-to-day will still be hard. I’m trying to plan something pleasant for as many days as possible: a few gatherings with friends, checking the local concert schedules, trying to come up with some good TV marathons to watch, picking up a new knitting project, etc.

You could also try picking up a new skill. Learning is one of the best ways to absorb yourself, and you could become a more informed person because of it. It could be something like learning a language, how to build a website, a musical instrument, learning more about a specific period of history, culture, or philosophy. Let yourself sink into something that can make very productive use of this time you need to pass!

Depression is something that’s crept in and out of my life since I was a teenager, so I also want to share with you my primary trick for keeping myself in check. Whenever I feel the depression taking over, I pick up the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. He writes a lot about controlling your mind so your mind doesn’t control you and includes breathing and meditation techniques. You might even learn to enjoy the time you have over the next few months, as much as you dread them.

Also, whenever I’m feeling depressed, I make sure I let someone know, so it doesn’t go too far without me noticing. I tell my fiance and my mom, and they both try to help me get out of negative patterns, and encourage me to see a counselor or acupunturist (this usually works for me) when necessary.

Don’t let depression steal this time away from you! Let me know if there’s more you want to talk about.

Post # 4
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, I totally understand your frustration. You Fiance will be back in the states soon and your communciation will definitely improve. I think you are feeling like this because the communication is so poor right now. It will improve and the best think you have to look forward to is the fact that you are going to eventually move to California.I am so excited and you both deserve happiness after the distance.

Please dont allow his absence to steal your joy. Try to be happy because you have a wonderful man who loves you and will spend the rest of his life with you.

I have similiar issues my Fiance is in the military and he is in Afghainstan and there are days and weeks when I cant communicate with him because there is no internet service so skyping is out of the question.


Post # 6
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

May is right around the corner! We’re almost in March! Where did the time go?

I have a similar feeling with Fiance. We agreed to move in together (after almost FIVE years) at the end of the year. I can’t stand my downstairs neighbors and how busy the street I live on is. I know your feels, hun.

Do things generally get you more down in the winter? A lot of people are like that -I know I get more gloomy when it’s cold and grey. Lots of people deal with SAD, but special lights help. I’m a gardener and had to buy CFLs (those cool twisty plant lights)for them and it’s actually helped my mood a ton. I was going to suggest some sort of exercise as well, but you had me beat! Running is seriously the best thing ever. It’s efficient, gets your fitness up so quickly, and he’ll love the runners body when he gets back. 😛

Here’s to hoping the next few months fly by and you’ll be in a better place…literally. 🙂

Post # 7
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissCalifornia:  I am glad I can help it is painful and you just want to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. You can talk to people but unless they understand they have no real ideal what you are dealing with day to day. If you want to PM when the thoughts come please feel free. Helping you takes my mind off him the Bees have been very supportive in my time of need.

I dont have it all together I have my times when I breakdown too. Right now, I am doing well and if I can help someone else deal with distance then I will try.



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