(Closed) SO told his family when he’s going to propose…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Have you had problems with them in the past?

Post # 4
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BelleFille:  Not yet, but I don’t think I’ll be privy to that conversation. Whatever my Future In-Laws have to say when my SO tells them he’s proposing (might have happened already, no clue), I actually hope I don’t konw the details of their reactions, because I already don’t think they like me very much, but I know they’re try to put on a good show once it’s official and I think they will be more welcoming.  I’m sorry (that you had to hear their reactions-) but there’s no undoing it. Is his brother younger? Is mom losing her youngest? I feel like even when a mom is excited that her son is getting married, she’s still having to let go, and for her to hear that it’s actually happening– concrete details and all– she might not be prepared for it. Believe me, I do NOT want to know the reaction from my Future In-Laws, I hope I never do!

Post # 5
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Everyone else will NEVER be as excited for your wedding as you are.

Post # 6
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My fiance told pretty much everyone he was planning to propose, so it wasn’t a total shock when we told his family and friends we were engaged. They may just be underwhelmed because they all assumed you guys would get married since you’re so good together and have been together so long (I’ve been with my fiance 8 years).

The important thing is that you and your future fiance are excited about it! You may get more excitement after the actual proposal, and if not, your friends and family will surely supply enough. 

The grandkids thing is annoying. There is nothing more personal than how and when to start a family, but some relatives just don’t get that. My fiance’s grandfather used to do the same thing. Tell his mom that the two of you will have kids when and if you’re ready, but no sooner. Try to ignore her…you don’t want to damage the relationship with your future FMIL! 

Post # 7
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Just out of curiosity, how do you know what their reactions were? Did they say something to you directly or is this what your SO told you? 

Also, is he the first one to get married in his family? If they are typically cautious, it probably is just that it’s “new” to have a child get married and maybe his mom is dealing with some mixed emotions as a result. I wouldn’t worry too much that they have a problem with you, if you have been together for 7 years, trust me, you would know by now if they didn’t want you in his life.

Post # 11
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Hey. My mother seemed less than excited. My own mother *sob* hehe no I’m totally over it now. Dont sweat the small stuff hun, the proposal of a proposal is no where near as exciting as an actual proposal you know? I’m sure they’ll be plenty excited when the time comes 🙂

 

Post # 12
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Well if he’s been engaged before then I would almost guarantee his mom is just wanting to look out for her baby. Also, if getting married in a church is a big deal to them, then that’s probably why she’s not overly enthusiastic. But neither of these should be a problem because of you specifically–they would probably be “problems” regardless of who he was marrying.

Don’t stress too much about this–it’s probably good he told them in advance so they can warm up to the idea. And hey, it sounds like his dad is already happy so that’s good, right? Plus, all of your family and friends are going to be very excited for you (and all of the bees will be excited for you!)

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