(Closed) So torn

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The only person you can discuss this with is your husband. You need to sit down with him, tell him you’d like to start TTC and ask him.when he would like to.

Post # 4
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

It can be so hard!!! I’m sorry you are so sad over this.

My husband and I weren’t on the same page at first. I was ready to start trying, and he wasn’t. It made me really sad, but I didn’t want to push him to make the decision. I wanted him to be ready.

So instead, I got the book “Taking Control of Your Fertility.” After I read it, I decided I was going off the pill and explained my decision to him. I can’t say we really decided “together” because I was the one taking the pills. But once I told him how I was going to track everything to avoid pregnancy, he was fine.

I felt like it was a step in the right direction, because I was going off the pill to prepare my body. And it also gave him a few more months to get used to the idea.

Now we are on the same page… but I COMPLETELY understand how you are feeling. The best advice I have is that sometimes you get your mind set on a certain date or time and you think that is the best time to start trying. But in reality, waiting a few months until your husband is comfortable is going to be worth it. You want him to be excited and you want to be able to share your excitement and talk about the pregnancy. 

If you get pregnant right away, you don’t want to feel like he resents it or isn’t happy.

GOOD LUCK… I hope you work it out!

Post # 5
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you definitely need to talk about it with him and agree on a time to start TTC.  He cant just not respond at all when you bring it up, because that wont solve anything

Post # 6
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You really need to sit down and have a heart to heart.  He already knows how you feel, so you just have to let him open up and express his feelings and just listen.  Not everyone is on the same page at the same exact time with TTC and you’re not the first! So don’t feel too badly.  Have that heart to heart and encourage a “safe zone” so he can be honest and then you can work together on timing ect after that convo.

Post # 7
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Guys don’t think about stuff unless you talk about it. You two both need to talk about this together. It’s understandable that you are frustrated that you aren’t on the same page but at the same time I don’t think it was the best idea to let it go and not bring it up until you were ready to start the next pack of pills. Have a talk with him after you calm down a bit to ensure your rational. Have multiple talks, see how he’s feeling, why he’s hesitant, etc. Kids are a big deal and I’m sure he’s scared about things changing, talking about it a couple more times before you decide to start is probably a great idea.

I like the previous posters idea about going off the pill and regulating your cycles and charting, (talking to your Darling Husband before you start doing that of course) and using alternative protection, perhaps he would be more open to that and you could talk about it for the next month or two and then pull the goalie. Lol.

Post # 8
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with @HopingToBeaMama:. The thing is that when men think about TTC, sometimes all they can see is the baby arriving right away and changing their lives. They don’t think about how long it can often take for the process to happen. Instead of focusing on the giant leap, think about baby steps. You could start by talking to him about going off hormonal BC. You should know that lots of people go through some degree of this when talking about TTC. One is often ready before the other. Don’t worry, you guys will work out.

The topic ‘So torn’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors