Post # 1
So here it is! can someone help?
I’m catholic (not because I think its the end-all be-all but because it works for me) my FH is a budding Buddhist. My mom wants me to have a catholic wedding which I’m fine with but our diocese says that we have to have it in a church building and that we have to have religious music/ readings/ everything. (Also, I can’t seem to find readings that speak to me like a Shakespeare sonnet) Also, according to state law we have to have a court judge or religious leader officiate.
I really want things that reflect me and my FH. I wanted an outdoor wedding, music from Princess Bride, and love poems as readings. I wanted my friend to marry us (she’s pagan btw) because I knew that she would be able to add the fun and seriousness needed for a wedding.
Now every time I mention having a non-denominational wedding my mom tears up. Any mention of 2 ceremonies she gets mad and then cries. (Not to mention she told her friends that we might have a “pagan” wedding and they said they weren’t coming.) I do want a catholic small short ceremony so I can continue to take communion and be a Lector but at this point I’m seriously considering eloping. (This would probably get me killed.)
Post # 3
What if you two did a short, very informal “ceremony” at or before your reception? You could read special vows that you wrote or your favorite love quotes or poems. It probably wouldn’t take too long and you wouldn’t have to dedicate a lot to it.
Post # 4
I agree with PP ^. I was raised Catholic, although I don’t practice or attend Mass regularly anymore (mostly because I’m not too keen on nearby parishes). In short, yes, have two ceremonies.
Depending on what your Church/Diocese requires, you can have your church ceremony and let that be the official, sign-the-license event, and have the strict Catholics present. Would it be terrible to have it be a little less formal, like a convalidation ceremony? Maybe you could even do it another day. Just a thought, maybe it will get your juices flowing. Or if it’s the same day, I would almost suggest your “Pagan” wedding first, then your quick Catholic ceremony, then the fun stuff. That way the staunchy types aren’t “exposed.” Lastly on the Catholic front, is it okay to be a Lector and married to a non-Catholic per your diocese? Just checking, but I’m sure it is in most.
On the other hand, as someone who feels as a fellow Bee to want only your happiness, consider putting your foot down and having the wedding you want. It’s YOUR day, you should be allowed to have what YOU want. Do you really care if Mom’s stuffy-sounding friends attend? Is there a way to sit her down and tell her the effect it has on you when she gets negatively emotional about things you like? Again, just thoughts of an outsider.
Good luck, I’m sure you will figure it all out, and I wish you a happy marriage!