(Closed) So torn . . . wedding, or not?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am so suprised your venue and photography will cost 10,000. That would be something I would reconsider.

Our wedding is budgeted for 12,000 and thats for 150 guests..and photographer and photographer is something I dont scrimp on and videographer.

I would reconsider venue.. but the amount people can spend on weddings are daunting. Did you have an initial budget?

Post # 4
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Is there any way you could venue shop for non-traditional venues, or cut some sort of deal? Change your date to a Friday or Sunday? Travel 40 miles or so out of town to get a cheaper deal? I think it can still be done, but if you wouldn’t feel comfortable with it, you need to do what makes you happy. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I can relate to what you’re struggling with in every way.  I question my decision to have a close to $15,000 wedding every single day.  I have cut costs in every way I can, but it is hard to have the wedding for 150 that I want at a lower cost.  We have flip flopped between only inviting moms and dads and brothers and sisters to having a full blown wedding and reception.  Right now we are thinking about having a wedding with moms and dads and brothers and sisters in Las Vegas and then having a lunch for our original guest list a couple of weeks after the wedding.  Hopefully we can save some money by not having a full blown reception.  The problem is that I’m afraid I’ll regret doing it that way.  I wish I had advice for you, but just know you’re not the only one having doubts.

Post # 6
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

That does sound like a frustrating situation, and I have to tell you – I am in the same one!  I am a thrifty shopper and a big fan of simplicity, yet picturing my simplistic ideas for the wedding leave me wanting more.  I also have not planned everything from the age of 6, so I’ve been trying to find ‘what feels right’ for our wedding.

I always said I wanted my wedding dress to be something I could wear again, or something I could get from Patagonia (the most expensive brand I own..).  However, when I tried on any non-traditional wedding dress it didn’t feel like I was actually getting married… I walked into David’s Bridal (the one place I didn’t want to find my dress) and it all started to become real.  I tried on a white dress that is very ‘bride-ie’ (no train, no tulle, no beads, but white!  And satin!) and it all started to ‘feel’ right. 

So there inlies my advice, which feels hokey, but it’s true – find things that ‘feel’ right… if they don’t, don’t compromise.  My dress, again, as an example, it was on sale, so I felt like I was getting a good deal on it.  I am putting my own blood, sweat, and tears into the favors and centerpieces so I feel like it’s ‘me’ and even if it actually ends up being more $, it feels like I am saving since I am doing it myself. 

I think the best part (aside from being married to my dream..) of the post-wedding will be the stories and memories.  Everything I am doing toward my wedding will make both good stories and good memories… it sounds like you are too!  Never fear… it will be a beautiful day : )

Post # 8
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Have you tried looking into all inclusive spots like Castaway? I have booked the Coco Palm restaurant in Pomona and they have very good all inclusive packages.

Post # 10
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

yay you! i’m soo glad you found a photographer that was up to par first of all (doing my booty dance for you)… second of all have the deposits already been paid?  i think you live in one of the more luxurious areas of the country so your budget is on par.  if on august 9th you wake up and didn’t have the grand, fun and quirky wedding would your heart be broken?  if so, then spend the money and get married at the venue of choice.  can you cut back on the chairs and rentals?  maybe do a passed hor dvoures service versus a traditional sit down?  since the venue is non-traditional you may be able to get away with something out of the ordinary so to speak.

Post # 11
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I know it’s hard to think of all that money going on one day, but I think you need to make a decision, and come to peace with it. Either do away with your dream venue for a simpler wedding, with whatever that entails or continue on your planning – and give yourself the permission to do so. Don’t feel guilty with whatever you decide, it’s your wedding day, it needs to be a day that makes you happy, both to plan, to go through, and to remember later. No one knows what that day looks like, except you and your FH. Once you decide which way you’re going to go, go for it with everything you’ve got, enjoy it, be grateful you were able to do it, and try not to feel bad about it 🙂 Good luck!

The topic ‘So torn . . . wedding, or not?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors