(Closed) So upset :(

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh honey, did he say anything else?  What was the context?  Was it in the middle of a fight?  I hope it was just a hurtful thing he said and not something he truly feels.

Post # 5
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t know what to tell you but I am really sorry you’re going through this. Has he been acting strangely lately, or is this totally out of the blue? 

Post # 6
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Im so sorry to hear this hunny hugs…I hope you two work it out

Post # 8
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

See how he feels when he gets back, then hopefully the two of you can persue some counseling together.  Feelings ebb and flow in a long term relationship, and I think a mistake that a lot of people make is in assuming that the first time they’re not feeling so romantic anymore, that that’s just it and they’ll never feel it again.  That is possible, I suppose, but if you still care for one another, it’s also very possible that you’ll come around again.

Be patient, be present, and be open to hearing things you might not like in the spirit of being able to improve things between you through honesty.

Take care.  I hope it works out for the best.

Post # 9
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ugh…I’m so sorry.  I hope it is a temporary thing and not his true feelings.  I don’t want to put any anxiety in your head so I’ll refrain from saying my suspicions, but I hope that a weekend apart will help your relationship.

Post # 10
1946 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I hate to bring this up, but could there be someone else?

Post # 11
4173 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Wow…that’s awful, I’m so sorry. 

So we know what’s going on with him.

But what’s going on with you?  Are you ok?  Do you still love him?  How do you feel about him dropping this on you and leaving because he needs, “time”? 

Whatever his problem is, that’s his problem…you take care of you, get you sorted out and decide how you are going to deal with it, I think its so sad and selfish of him to do this and leave you to be afraid and sad and scared…you find a good friend to reach out to and get yourself in good hands.

It’s going to be ok, I swear!

Post # 13
955 posts
Busy bee

That is crappy! Maybe he just needs some space? Usually when I leave my guy be for a bit he comes back more loving than ever. Just let him go away and do his thing and try to relax. No matter what happens you’ll be okay.

Post # 14
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sounds like what my DH did after 4 years of just dating. We broke up for a month b/c he pulled the same thing on me. It turned out he was just so stressed with school and his activities at the time, and we were in a LDR, but he ended up thinking he was stressed with me and didn’t love me anymore, but he was really just stressed with school, work, distance, and other responsibilities. After a month of being apart he realized he missed me and wanted me back so he went through the next year wooing me again and resolidifying our relationship before preposing and now we’re insanely happily married.

Is it possible that your DH has been under stress lately with work and/or other responsibilities? Things that might cause him unpleasent feelings that then leak into your home life? If so these might be clouding his mind and emotions and he might falsely be attributing those feeling to you.  Just my experience. I’m so sorry hunny, I know how it feels to be told that but I can’t imagine a husband telling his new wife that after 4 months of newlywed time.

Post # 16
3054 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@cali_cat:  I will refrain as well.

I don’t know if running away from the problem instead of talking about why he has been so distant for a week is going to help, but I hope it does. I think you should contact a friend to spend time with this weekend so you are not home alone to dwell on this.

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