(Closed) So upset :(

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 333
Member
4560 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@brush1027:  Where did he meet this stripper? And how does one go from happily married to casually talking to a stripper to dating her and divorcing your wife in less than 3 months? There is something more going on that he hasn’t told you…

Post # 335
Member
4560 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@brush1027:  No, you dont work as a stripper and have a job on the side. She probably “worked” the conference (meaning, she was a call girl). She makes him happy because girls like that learn exactly what to say to stroke a guys ego to separate him from his money.

Do you still have joint accounts or Credit Cards in both your names? Remember, if he uses the joint credit cards while you are still married (even though you are separated), you will be liable for the charges. 

Post # 337
Member
2303 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry you are caught up in his lies and you can’t help but still love him (I totally get that, I don’t think a single person on here is trying to say that you should just “stop loving him” as if it were an on-off switch). But you really, really need to hold on to all the things he has done wrong to you every time you want to call/text/email/see him and believe his lies again. Cut him off as completely as you can and every time you want to contact him, just get through that one urge by distracting yourself. Fight each feeling as a little battle and soon you’ll be away from that asshole. 

Post # 338
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I completely agree with  @Eckle:  he is being manipulative! Please keep away from him!!

Post # 340
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brush1027:  Honestly, it sounds like this might not have been the great relationship you’ve been building it up to be in your mind over the past few months.  We often do this in breakups – only remember the good and not the bad.  It sounds like there have been problems for years, and unfortunately, they’re just truly coming to a head now.  I think this is all for the best, and you’ll look back and be thankful the marriage ended quickly and it wasn’t dragged out for years before you realized the underlying issues in the relationship.  I really think you need to stop communicating with him and try your best to just move on.  I wish you the best of luck.

 

 

 

Post # 341
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee

Sweetie, this relationship ending is the BEST thing that could have happened to you. I’m just sorry it happened after you married the prick. He’s a terrible, manipulative person who doesn’t deserve you.

Please, please stop talking to him FOR GOOD once the divorce proceedings have completed. Take some time for yourself, really figure out WHO YOU ARE. I would suggest not dating again for at least 6 months to a year – maybe do some traveling, try some new hobbies, etc. Just really figure out who you are as a person without another human attached to you.

It’ll be so good for you, and in 5 years you’re going to look back and realize what a mistake it would’ve been to stay with him. I know it’s hard when a relationship that’s lasted for so much of your life ends, but you are so much better off and you don’t even know how happy you’re going to be in a few years looking back.

I highly suggest you get into counseling ASAP to work through the issues of dependency and unpack all the emotional abuse he put you through for years. It sounds like the relationship has never been healthy, and you need to learn some tools for evaluating what is and is not healthy before embarking on a new relationship so you don’t get sucked into another situation like this and repeat the whole thing over again.

*hug* The Bee is a great place for support – the girls here helped me so much when I was ending my relationship with my ex this time a year ago. Don’t stop coming here!

Post # 342
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@brush1027:  I am so sorry that you are going through all of this right now! I have been following this since the beginning. He’s not your soulmate. This is not a healthy loving relationship. It’s abusive and its about power and control. There are no healthy boundaries in this relationship, there is no trust, the marriage is over. Please don’t talk to him anymore, please get your cell phone on your own plan, you should be able to split your contract from his. As long as your phone is connected to his he will continue to GPS track you & stalk you. I know he refused to attend couples counseling with you but have you considered seeing a counselor on your own? It  might help you see a light at the end of the tunnel and sort through everything you are feeling right now. I think he is twisting things & making it hard for you to see straight right now. Stay strong, May 20th is just around the corner! 

Post # 344
Member
306 posts
Helper bee

@brush1027:  i have been following this since the beginning & i think that you are doing the right things by cutting all ties. my ex cheated on me, and then he married the girl he cheated on me with..and now hes cheating on her..

i understand this a**hole has been a part of your life for a long time..but you’re an adult now and still very young…take it as an opportunity to really do YOU! have fun, go out, meet new people…hell..make out with boys! after shit hit the fan with my ex i was on my own for almost a year & then i met my current SO…we are planning to be engaged in the next few months, but had i not gone through all of that..i wouldn’t have ever met my soulmate.

you’re gonna be fine..and we will all always *bee* here for you!!

Post # 345
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@brush1027:  Good job getting your own cell phone plan dropping off the keys and garage door opener, HUGE steps towards going separate ways! I’m so proud of you! Keep up the great work! One day at a time, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You can do this!!! 

Post # 346
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@brush1027:  Wow I’m at work bored so I just read this entire thread and it’s crazy! I’ve been through a divorce but am currently engaged. I hope you seriously cut off contact with this dude, he is taking advantage of you emotionally in a major way and you are letting him. I would stop communication 100%!

The topic ‘So upset :(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors