(Closed) So upset :(

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 363
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@brush1027:  Honey, you just got out of a 8.5 year relationship! It doesn’t matter how great this guy may be, give yourself some room to breathe!

Post # 364
Member
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@likewoah: +1

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@brush1027: As hard as it is, I think it would be a really good idea to take some time to figure out who you are outside of a relationship. You’ve been in an intense relationship for all of your formative years, so it would be healthy to give yourself some time to heal and to rediscover who you are and who you want to be. I’m glad to hear that you’re moving on from your ex, though!

Post # 366
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, I will also second to please move carefully – it’s very easy to simply replace one long-term love with another to avoid having to face life on your own, but take it from someone with very recent experience in this matter, it’s VASTLY important to figure out who you are after getting out of a relationship that lasted so long and took so much out of you. Especially one that got as serious as engagement/marriage.

If this new guy is worth it, he’ll be willing to wait for you to take the necessary time and figure yourself out.

 

Post # 367
Member
793 posts
Busy bee

I am always shocked when guys do that, but it seems so common! It’s like they expect life to be like that old Reba sitcom, they can pick up and move in with some new girl and you’ll still be there for them. WTF. 

Good for you for moving on!

Post # 368
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@brush1027:  I just wanted to say I am happy for you that you are moving on! I hope everything works out for you and I am so sorry for all that you went through!

Post # 369
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Brielle:  +1 sooo true! OP: I hate to even ask but is there someone else in his life? Seems awfully sudden for him to decide he “isn’t in lI’ve anymore” it’s very possible he is just having a “fear of commitment” now that it’s official and that’s all it is, you can both work through this. *HUGS* marriage is rough sometimes, DH and I just had a baby who is now 6 months old and I have to say it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder

Post # 370
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Oklahomagirl:  You probably didnt read the whole thread, it turned out he is dating some stripper…

OP hope you feel better about your situation and you’re spending much time with fam & friends <3

Post # 372
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@brush1027:  I have been enjoying my life and doing what I wanted for the past couple of weeks.

SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! 

Post # 373
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

girl you are ridiculously amazing to me. I know what you are going through. My previous relationship my ex broke up with me saying she needed space. I was crushed. I don’t think I have felt that level of being ripped in two. But then she kept texting me that she still loved me and come hang out blah blah blah. I knew she was dating someone else… and lying to me about it. I lived 3 hours away and stayed at her house thurs through mondays. FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR I knew this skanky bitch was sleeping with someone else while calling me EVERYDAY TELLING ME SHE LOVED ME. When I finally left the house I still talked to her every day until one day over a month after getting my stuff out and kind of seeing someone new, I couldn’t handle it. I just felt the God awful tearing sensation inside where it hurts to breathe becuase your heart is breaking.

 

This was almost 2 years ago. I am now engaged to a wonderful man (side sotry, I am engaged to the man she was cheating on me with for that year… go figure). And you know what? I still think about her. I don’t know if I love her anymore, but part of me wants so desparately for her to want me, to validate to myself that I am a worthy person.

 

You are the polar oppisite, you have taken this horror story and have begun the healing process. I am so proud of you and I believe you will come out of this stronger and an even more beautiful person.

Post # 375
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@brush1027: I’m glad things are looking up for you, but I can’t believe you gave him the dog! What if he has spite in mind? Hate to suggest it, but seriously people are batshit crazy these days, and he doesn’t sound like the best guy ever in the first place.

 

I would NOT be so nice to him. You should get a freakin’ restraining order or something.

 

oh and for gods sake, go pick up your dog!!

Post # 376
Member
775 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Wow. I just read all 10 pages of this! 

I agree with all those who say you need to cut off all contact. In a month he will officially be your exhusband and you will have no reason to have anything to do with each other. Delete him off Facebook, go get your dog and keep her with you, don’t answer his text unless they are about logistics of your divorce or finances or possessions. Don’t tell him anything about your personal life. He lost the rights to all of those things when he cheated on you, abandoned your marriage and filed for divorce. Stay strong and look forward to never having anything more to do with him once the divorce is final.

The world is your oyster now! You are young and strong and free to do anything you like! Enjoy being single and getting to know yourself better! I wish you the best of luck.

 

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