(Closed) So upset about this situation with S.I.L. … how would you handle it?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

simply put: i seriously would not invite this person because she sounds insane

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im a bit confused on why a guest (yes a SIL but still a guest) gets to chose who she can invite to YOUR wedding!  both my siblings are married and i was invited just like everyone ele and i had no say on who was on the invitation list

i would stick to my guns and uninvite the chick that makes you so unhappy…. but if you do end up inviting her, assign her seating to the ladies toilet our just outside the smokers area (and provide cigars) 🙂

sending hugs Ms H… you dont need this drama


Post # 6
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

If it were me, I would NOT invite her and post a bouncer at the door with her picture and say she is NOT coming in at all cost. Seriously.

Post # 7
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Prior to you telling Future Sister-In-Law that you would invite her (after the first screaming match), I would have stuck with my guns and not allowed the friend to attend.  If Future Sister-In-Law would have NOT come to the wedding (as her threat implied), that’s her choice.  She’d be the one missing out.

Curious why all the yelling and screaming after you told Future Sister-In-Law you’d invite the friend??

It seems to me that after you told her it’s ok, you can’t take it back (even though Future Sister-In-Law flipped out again) because this will just go round and round and round.  

Since you gave Future Sister-In-Law freedom to add to the invite list, just suck it up and let it be. 


Post # 9
2765 posts
Sugar bee

You should be careful about retailiating… that will probably make things worse in the long run.

You may want to have your Fiance handle communications with his sister for a while… until things calm down a bit? 

Post # 11
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No matter WHO her best friend is,or what your history is with them, Future Sister-In-Law shouldn’t be inviting people to your wedding. That’s it.

Post # 14
29 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

I guess I missed the part where SIL and/or her friend are paying for part of this wedding???  Yeah, if they are not generating any funds to put on this event she is in no position to make demands or threats.  I would let her speak with her brother on this since he obviously knows his sister better and if she still wants to be an idiot, she can fight with herself.

Post # 15
2640 posts
Sugar bee

So sorry. That does sound a little messy.  Sounds like you caved to your FMIL’s rants that you don’t have enough people coming to the reception, and therefore agreed to allow Future Sister-In-Law to invite her friends.  (Did I get that right?)

Aaaah.  Well it sounds like you agreed to invite her, inadvertantly originally, but then again on the phone.  So we probably shouldn’t touch that live wire anymore.  But don’t worry.  You won’t really even notice her at the wedding.  And on the positive side, I think it might be a good way to just let things relax about the fight you had with this other girl before.  We don’t know what the fight was about, but it takes some energy and work to harbor bad feelings towards someone and their whole family, forever, over a fight.  Maybe this will help heal some of that.

As for what might be going on with your Future Sister-In-Law.  Does she know the issue?  When cooler heads can prevail, might you be able to say, "Hey, Future Sister-In-Law, sorry I got so upset about ___ being invited.  You see I had this terrible fight with her cousin.  It was like this…..  Anyway, I guess I shouldn’t hold it against her, but thinking about her family just causes me to go off the deep end.  But in any case, I don’t want whatever I’m feeling about that fight, to ruin our relationship.  We’re going to be family, and I just want to make sure we clear up our misunderstandings."

Post # 16
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

What in the world is wrong with people?? I’m not a violent person by any means, but if I were you I would just want to smack my Future Sister-In-Law. Some people are just so unbelievable. It doesn’t sound as though you’ve sent out invitations yet, could you "misplace" this woman’s invite? Or do you think she would still show up without a formal invitation…

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