Post # 17
i would have BIG PROBLEMS with this lunch date, after reading the back story. This doesn’t sound like a church, but a cult. and a mean one at that. It sounds like he’s being manipulated, and you’re being severely disrespected. I would talk to him immediately and ask to go to lunch with them. You are a unit, especially in situations like this. It’s troublesome that even with your history and the pattern of disrepect toward you that your husband insists on being a part of this church and speaking to this woman. Sorry, but it sounds like he’s disrespecting you too.
Post # 18
Post # 19
Jamaicabride — that’s my concern. He says that she isn’t trying to get him to come back and she’s not trying to bring division to our marriage, but she’s always worrked through really subtle manipulation that he never picked up on. I’m afraid of that being the case again, especially if there continues to be private communication apart from me (which he says there won’t be…).
Greenleafmountain — thanks so much for sharing a little bit about your experience! It helps to know that I’m not alone in this. I think that’s pretty accurate of what my husband is going through right now, too. He says we won’t ever go back unless BOTH of us felt that God was calling us there (not gonna happen on my end :-P), but he wants to stay on friendly terms, particularly with the branch of the house church that’s in our city (which is actually the larger “parent” church of the house church we had all the problems with). In general, they really are nice people (except maybe D. — I have trouble seeing her as even friendly in a surfacy way) and I’m all for different churches working together despite they’re differences, but it’s hard because of the personal hurt and the manipulation. I’m afraid of them influencing my husband again so I’m wary of maintaining even a general friendship with them. When you said “They can’t just be your friend, and they can’t accept that it might be right for anyone to leave” that seems so true! But you’re also right in that he probably needs to figure that out himself. and unfortunately, it may take further hurt and drama to convince him….