(Closed) So upset that BF doesn't want to get me a nice engagement ring

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 181
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

barbgordon:  I think you’re the one that needs to lighten up. You obviously have a lot of growing up to do.  And I do stand by my comment; anyone that is so materialistic that has bad spending habits DOES need to think long and hard before bringing children into the equation. You come on here insulting everyone with a mall store ring and sounding like an entitled little girl. Maybe try talking to your fiance like all the other posters have said… 

Post # 182
Member
18 posts
Newbee

It feels like you’re unconsciously just using this as another reason to be resentful towards him.

Maybe you never really got over him breaking up with you twice and telling you that he still loved someone else?

Maybe this is your way of him proving something to you?

Maybe this is your way of recovering some morsel of your self-worth?

But let me tell you, no matter how big of a rock he gets you, it won’t resolve your issues. If it’s not this thing, then it’ll be something else. 

Post # 183
Member
453 posts
Helper bee

It is absolutely not up to you to decide what he can afford. You are completely out of line by saying that.

You sound completely ungrateful and materialistic.

 

Post # 184
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

slomotion:  Right!? Maybe I’m just a broke millenial but a thousand dollars is a fair bit of dough to pour into something that is not an investment and does not serve any practical function. I’m blown away by bees saying they would expect a ring that was in some kind of specific proportion to his income. 

Sure, he /could/ afford to get her a $6-7k diamond ring, just like he /could/ afford to get her a $6-7k commercial-grade espresso machine, or a $6-7k UTV, or a $6-7k custom hot tub, or….

Post # 185
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My Fiance didn’t have a coupon but he did get a nice deal (about $2500 off bc he knows someone that works at the jewelry store) and I’m so glad he got a deal (or coupon). why would I want him to spend so much when he get get it for a good deal! The amount of money he spends does not measure how much he loves or cares about you. get that out of your head. i do think it’s a little immature for you to think that. bc if that’s the case all the celebrity that have 10+ carat rings must be well loved… But why are a lot of them getting divorced? And also, it IS a gift and symbol of his love and commitment to you, no $ should be put on it.

and you shouldn’t put how much your bf makes on here, seems to me you’re just trying to brag… Or to some people, make him look bad… 

I think he needs to dump you for saying the poopy comment…. And you need to grow up… Joke or not, that is SO NOT appropriate… You’re only having his baby bc you want a nice rock on your finger? 

Post # 186
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Also, you mentioned that you’ve never asked him to buy expensive things for you before. Have you not considered that this is why he’s with you? That he thought you guys were on the same page when it comes to materialistic belongings?

When someone isn’t accustomed to showing their affection through gifts, you can’t expect them to be able to suddenly change. It’s just not in their nature. But you can try to get them to understand, if you communicate maturely without becoming resentful, accusatory, or overly emotional.

And as I and many other posters have said, you can always offer to pitch in. 

Post # 187
Member
6845 posts
Busy Beekeeper

barbgordon:  I really have to wonder if you truly love and want to be with this man or if you just want a ring and a wedding. If the two of you have such different values regarding spending and can’t seem to communicate about even the purchase of a ring how are you going to handle real life issues? This should be the easy stuff!

Regarding this: I will be wearing the ring as I clean the poop of his babies. I want to at least be able to look at my ring and go, “okay, at least I have a nice rock.” haha. Most of my friends didn’t wear their engagement rings for years while changing poopy diapers, because–you know–poop. And risk of scratching the baby. You sound a long way away from being ready for the selfless requirements of parenthood. 

 

 

Post # 188
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s more important to find a loving, loyal, genuine, kind individual who loves you with all of his heart and would do anything for you and wants to spend his life with you and vice versa than that “perfect ring.”  When you know you’ve find the right person, any ring will do – period.  Don’t place importance on the size or cost of your rock – there are more important things than a big, expensive ring on your finger. Are you sure he is the one for you considering how you feel and how you’ve already broken up twice before?

Post # 189
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 190
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009 - Mountain Meadow/Mansion

barbgordon:  Not that the cost of your ring determines your worth, or that I would like this myself, but is it possible he is joking? 

Post # 191
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

barbgordon:  I dont know your past, but it sounds like he isnt very nice to you. Does he always prioritize other things? 

 

Also my ring is from a mall store, and it’s not horrible quality, thank you very much. Some are, and I will say they do mark up prices across the board. But you can find nice rings there too. 

Post # 192
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

barbgordon:  Why do you keep ignoring the comments telling you to talk with your SO?

You can argue with people on here all you want but at the end of this thread you will still be in the exact same place: wanting a ring your SO can’t afford and doesn’t want to buy.

Post # 193
Member
4548 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

[content moderated for name calling]

If when my husband and I were starting out, our combined income was around $110,000 I would be pissed off no end if he spent $15,000 on a ring. Unless we were 100% debt free that would seem like a reckless thing to do. Put it off the credit card/ student loans/ mortgage, that is love- that is security for the future.  I think $1000 is NOT CHEAP anyway.

Post # 194
Bee
11811 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

This thread has run its course. I’m closing it for review.

The topic ‘So upset that BF doesn't want to get me a nice engagement ring’ is closed to new replies.

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