I’m going to avoid going off into the distance on some of the things you’ve said because quite honestly, I was offended. Instead, here’s a devil’s advocate situation for you to think about. You know him best, so I’m not saying this was his thought process, but it certainly could have been what he went through. (could if, hypotheticals…)
Maybe he has done his research and very clearly saw that he can’t afford your dream ring. And when you bring it up, he doesn’t want to talk about it because he knows he can’t afford it and it makes him close up. So, he does an internet search on deals, and up pops groupon with an answer for him, that may get him closer to your expectations.
There are SO many ring commercials during football (does he like football?) about deals, with flashy rings, etc, that he may think using coupons and sales for this purchase is normal. IF that is the case, he’s trying to meet your expectations and is at the sametime being called out for being cheap because a coupon or mall store is involved. That would make me feel like sh*t, like nothing I did was good enough, and you know what, I wouldn’t want to talk about it etiher….
But, the difference is that he should be willing to be upfront about any budget issues so you can find a solution and compromise together. That is the red flag, what other bees are citing for disinterest and unwillingness to talk about it. Not communicating over money, or about what is important and where compromise can be made, is a big, shiny red flag.
* End hypothetical
Sidenote 1: I think it’s wrong to fault him on using a coupon. Coupons exist for Kate Spade too. If he does use a coupon, maybe he can also use a cash back rewards credit card, and then he’ll get back even more money that could be put towards wedding, wedding bands, etc. That’s not being cheap – that’s taking advantage of large spend items. I bought my bridesmaids dresses on my cash back card and was about to get them back $30 each.
Sidenote 2: Just think, if you guys do get engaged, this is one of MANY financial discussions that you will need to make, particularly with wedding planning costs. Learn how to do it together well now, and the budget planning for your wedding will be a lot more smooth!