- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I debated about posting this because I am sure most of you will think I am ungrateful, but here it goes…
SO have been together a little over 2 years, but I’ve known him for around 4 years. When we first discussed marriage, around a year or so ago, I told him when the time came that I wanted to be involved in picking out my engagement ring, and he was fine with that.
About a month ago, he casually mentioned that we should go look at engagement rings. Needless to say, I was so excited! I spent the next 2 days scouring the internet looking at almost every ring site I could find so I could get an idea of what I liked.
We went to the store on Saturday, which is probably the worst day to go because it was kind of busy. The salesman was very nice and took us over to the display. He pulled out some rings for me to try, and my SO looked at the price tag on one setting and almost had a heart attack. The look on his face was like a deer in headlights. His response kind of embarressed me. The salesman was very nice and professional and said that many guys have the same response. SO was even more in shock when he discovered that the price of the setting did not include the diamond.
The salesman asked if he had a budget in mind and my SO admitted he had not done his homework. The salesman showed us some rings that they called promise rings that many people get for engagement rings. Most were small clusters or had center diamonds smaller than 1/4 carat. I hate to say it, I was a little disappointed, but SO said those rings looked “dinky”. This particular store also sold Moissanite, and it was the first time I had seen one in person, but SO didn’t like them as he thought they didn’t look like a diamond at all (and the whole idea was that it’s not supposed to but he lumped them in the same category as CZ).
We left the store not really saying anything. I was afraid to bring up the subject. I obviously cannot tell him what he feels comfortable spending but I just assumed he knew how much diamonds cost.
This weekend my SO told me he would like to use his mom’s diamond for my e-ring. I asked if his mom offered it to him and he said he asked her for it. I found this odd as his dad left his family when he was quite young and does not have a relationship with him, and also, his mom offered the diamond to SO’s sister and she said she did not want a ring with such bad karma.
I don’t know what the diamond looks like; SO doesn’t remember either. I told him I’d rather have my own ring with our own history. I feel as though the only reason he asked her for it is because he saw how expensive engagement rings can be.
Since I told him this, SO has been very distant. All of a sudden this diamond means the world to him.
I know so many Bees here have heirloom rings so I am sure I’m going to get flamed. I can’t explain my feelings. I just want my own ring. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry but my wedding set is the one nice thing I want. And when I say nice, I mean durable, but it doesn’t have to be super expensive, although my idea of expensive is probably different than my SO’s.
I’m not sure if there’s anything I can say to make this situation better, but I would appreciate any advice you can give.