(Closed) So upset with my party

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

There’s nothing that says you can’t change your mind about who is in your wedding party! You still have time! I’m in a bridal party that has some of the same stuff going on… the bride has removed the Maid/Matron of Honor from her duties and has assigned them to someone more responsible (the Maid/Matron of Honor is an alcoholic and drug user). She would have removed her and another bridesmaid if she would have found out about their new personalities earlier. One Bridesmaid or Best Man has refused to walk into the ceremony with a Groomsmen, bought a dress a size too small b/c of vanity and blames the  bride, want to wear a tiara, refuses hair and makeup and has complained about everything from day 1.

If it were me, I’d cut them out completely. I’ve learned a long time ago that if your friends aren’t there to help you, they’re probably hurting you. On your wedding day, you need supportive people who enjoy your day and can celebrate with you! You don’t need to worry about their attitudes and behavior. If you can’t cut them out completely or are afraid to, at least reassign the duties.

Post # 4
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@staceynrick: i was going to suggest this also….i completely agree!!

i was in a wedding….the bride has been my friend since the 9th grade, her Maid/Matron of Honor was my childhood best friend from 3rd grade all thru and up til high school graduation….all 3 of us kept in touch but i grew apart from them and they stayed close….she asked me to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and went into this talk about how she feels she’s been closer to her Maid/Matron of Honor more since high school than me and that she hoped i understood, which of course i was, i at no point felt i deserved the title….anyways, all thru the planning process all the BMs were there for her and whatnot, but i kept hearing how she was having “this this and that” trouble wit the Maid/Matron of Honor….she even asked me for advice a few times about whether she should remove her or not, i suppose it was that bad….she didn’t and on her wedding day, she still had trouble wit her, and now she hasn’t spoken to her since…..  :-/

again, i agree that its not too late to make a change….

Post # 5
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You can always add  the other two girls as bridesmaids.  As for the other two, if they’ve already purchased their dresses, I don’t see how you could kick them out unless you pay them for the dresses. 

As for the bipolar and bratty Maid/Matron of Honor, most people with legitimate mental illnesses do not believe they are sick and therefore won’t seek help.  It’s just part of the disease.  If you’re really concerned about her well-being, I suggest you talk to aa family member who can get her help.

Post # 6
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@cosmocity: oh i am so sorry to hear all of that!  my heart goes out to brides who are dealing with crappy bridesmaids.  My advice is the same as what others have said: change your party!  you don’t want those girls in it, cut them!  the last thing you want is to have that cloud hanging over your day when you know that these are not the girls you want to spend that time with.  Hopefully, since it’s so long before your wedding right now, they haven’t bought their dresses yet so you won’t have to refund them.  but if they have, do it anyway and cut your losses.  it’s far more valuable to have girls who actually support you by your side then to keep these girls just to save yourself some money.  Also, do you want to look back at your photos with a sense of regret, like “ug here I am with that brat” instead of “omg i love all my girls so much!”  I can’t help but smile when I look at my wedding photos with my BMs, they are all very important people in my life and made my planning process and the day-of so so special!  you deserve that too!!!

Post # 9
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

hey girl, let the nice people do the bachelorette party.  Don’t worry about offending the other bridesmaids as they probably couldn’t care anyway!! Simply explain to them that these nice girls who you’re friends with have come up with some ideas.    Keep the bridesmaids you’ve already chosen but don’t be afriad of other fun people stepping in.  Enjoy you day!

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