(Closed) SO wants to start offering boudoir/pinup sessions and I am pissed

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: If your SO was a photographer, how would you feel about him/her wanting to do pinup/boudoir sessions
    I'd be fine with him shooting boudoir and pinup photography regardless of client : (166 votes)
    36 %
    Fine with it as long as client isn't a friend or coworker : (92 votes)
    20 %
    Hell No, not ok with him doing it regardless of client : (195 votes)
    43 %
    other : (5 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 62
    3683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    From the standpoint of him being coworkers with these women at his regular job, I’d say it’s entirely inappropriate.  

    Post # 63
    421 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @JellyFeet:  OP having reservations about her husband springing his plan on her about photographing his coworkers is controlling?! Noooo way! I’d say anyone who “didn’t think twice” about that is either uniquely laid back or completely niave. It’s called mutual respect when a husband and wife discuss these things before actually “rolling them out”. Couples doing what they want, when they want work for some… And, not what others necessarily thought they were signing up for. He is obviously crossing one of her boundaries with this (and with good reason due to the lack of communication), so that’s to be respected. There may be boundaries that you would not your SO to cross, while bees would be completely fine with it. It doesn’t necessarily make you insecure or out of line…. It just makes you human. 

    Now, if she said “no photography at all” or “all photography is only on my terms”, without compromising to some degree, that may be deemed as controlling. 

    Post # 64
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d be fine with it, it’s better than some random hoe-bag on model mayhem taking them for her portfolio. Bodouir photos are pretty popular now and it’s a good way for him to practice with lighting, etc, in a home studio so he can d photography full time. 

    ETA: I’d still set boundaries. I wouldn’t be 100% comfortable shooting nude women, but lingerie is fine. 


    Post # 70
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsOrange:  For the record OP my husband is a photographer (primarily sports photography) but if he came home one day and said he would start doing pin up photos, I’d rather he do that than stick his fingers into random private parts as GYNs do on a daily basis for examinations. I find touching a woman’s private parts to be a whole lot more intimate than taking her picture. Not sure what the difference is when/if he becomes a full time photographer if the same people he works with can hire him at a later date to take their pictures. You’re entitled to your feelings, but you may just have to trust him to be professional. 

    Post # 71
    3371 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Having been in a relationship with a photographer/photojournalist before, I think you need to have a very healthy sense of self-esteem and trust in your relationship. When I first started dating my ex, he was in the middle of editing photos from New York and Paris Fashion Week and I definitely questioned what I’d gotten myself into and whether I could deal with the fact that my boyfriend would be spending his days shooting and then editing photos of some of the most beautiful women on the planet. 

    But you need to understand that the reality of being a photographer isn’t that glamorous. Yes, you meet lots of different, sometimes attractive people – but you’re also under immense pressure to get the shot. That means you’re more preoccupied with the lighting conditions than checking out how hot your subject is. If you’re really concerned, I would suggest perhaps you can assist on a couple of shoots, at least until you get comfortable with the idea.

    Post # 72
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I come from an art school so there was lifedrawing all the time, every day. lifedrawing is basically drawing a naked person (“not even underwear?!” asked my mom; yes, not even underwear). it’s work! I’m not touching the person, and no guys ever got a boner (afaik) in class, even when the model was super hot.

    I think boudoir shots of naked human bodies can be a REALLY good starting point. to get a feel for how light bounces off human skin, to see which angle looks the best without clothes–that’s really great experience! I would be completely OK with that. no biggie. and once he got better with some experience, I’d want him to shoot me. ;P

    Post # 73
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I don’t see the problem. He’s a professional taking pics as part of his perfectly legitimate JOB. Surely that can’t be an issue?

    Post # 74
    259 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @eeniebeans:  There is a huge difference between a cold, sterile doctors office where you are left with goosebumps and awkward feelings.. aka no chance of sexual nature and a photoshoot in which the “patient” is SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY AND TURNED ON.



    I don’t understand why everyone keeps referencing gynos… like really? Its not even close to the same environment or comparable. Ya’ll are crazy.

    Post # 75
    472 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  Exactly. Also, I don’t understand why people are comparing it to gynaecology. There is a big difference between the two as the photoshoots are focusing on women trying to be sexy whilst gynaecology has a totally different focus.

    Post # 76
    472 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @ohhbitty:  I just made this point but you beat me to it 😛

    The topic ‘SO wants to start offering boudoir/pinup sessions and I am pissed’ is closed to new replies.

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