(Closed) SO wants to start offering boudoir/pinup sessions and I am pissed

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: If your SO was a photographer, how would you feel about him/her wanting to do pinup/boudoir sessions
    I'd be fine with him shooting boudoir and pinup photography regardless of client : (166 votes)
    36 %
    Fine with it as long as client isn't a friend or coworker : (92 votes)
    20 %
    Hell No, not ok with him doing it regardless of client : (195 votes)
    43 %
    other : (5 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 92
    Hostess
    3571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Full disclosure: I didn’t read the whole thread. 

     

    But my impression is: Would you be mad if your husband was a OBGYN? He’d stare at hoohas all day..

     

    Probably not, eh? I think of this as the same thing. It’s his job, and if he’s even the remotest bit of professional, he should be focusing on all of the technical aspects of the job that make a great photo. He’s not going to be thinking how to pick up a girl, who is obviously attached because let’s fact it: Have you ever heard of anyone getting Budioir photos done “just for me?” I definitely haven’t. 

     

    He’s a photographer, and this is what we call in my field (not photography) a “frontier market.” If he’s breaking into his own business, he needs to be able to carve a bit of a niche out that will actually help with the bread and butter income aspect of it. Weddings, ok, but the wedding market is really saturated, even in small towns. Budioir is seen as something new and a bit edgy that not all areas have yet. I personally think it’s a passing trend, but why not go for it for a while.

     

    So yeah, I do think you’re way over reacting here.

     

    Post # 93
    Member
    1233 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @jjmomma:  

    Hahaha, yeah he was really chill about it. I used to date a guy who had a twin brother, I really wanted to do a double nude of them, but the brother was Not into it, lol.

    Post # 94
    Member
    3367 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @fiver:  and mixtapehearts:  Am I just off the mark here because I’m feeling a difference between someone who is established as a photographer and someone who has been doing it as a hobby… I’m thinking making the transistion creates a slippery slope to navigate when it comes to this type of setting.  

     

    Post # 95
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @jjmomma:  ITA with your statement! I know a guy that is military but started doing freelance photography b/c he loved taking pics of his kid. He only did kid/family photos but started doing boudoir stuff….which I thought crossed the line as he is military and could get in trouble for that kind of stuff. 

    Post # 96
    Member
    1233 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @jjmomma:  

    I guess I don’t see the big deal of him making the transistion from hobby to career with boudoir photos, since they are super popular right now, as oppose to high school senior photos or something.

    I mean, she says he has always loved photography– she doesn’t say he’s always been obsessed with photographing sexy women. She said the only problem was that it was co-workers.

    Post # 97
    Member
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My husband is a tattoo artist and body piecer. He tattoos and pierces all types of people, men and women. If I got “pissed” every time he pierced a chick’s nipples (or worse), I’d never get anything else done. It’s his job. If you want his business to flourish, you can’t get mad about him finding ways to do that. I think you’re being selfish. Do I love it when my husband takes a woman behind closed doors to pierce god-knows-what? No, I don’t love it. But that’s his career. You either learn to live with it or you harbor resentment toward him for it. The former is a much easier option.

    Post # 98
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @smv22114:  I 100% was thinking along the same lines as you…WHY would he want a boudoir studio all of the sudden? I can understand if he has “some” experience with his wife or exes but it doesn’t appear that way.

    @MrsOrange:  I’ll admit that I would have a problem with this. But I’ve had a problem with Darling Husband and pics he still has of his exes. I think talking to him and asking him what he plans to do about having another female in the room. I’m not sure how much business he can get being the only one in the room.

    Even my wedding photographer (who was gay) insisted on having a female sidekick during boudoir photos. I think he could open himself up to some problems…I’m thinking my Darling Husband would be pissed if he knew some coworker of mine was taking pics of me like that….alone. 

    Not sure if you’re willing, but maybe suggest you help him? Seems like a reasonable compromise.

    Post # 99
    Member
    3367 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    My initial reaction to the OBGYN comparison was that my male OBGYN needed a nurse/ PA in the room with him, so maybe that would reassure her and protect him in the long run?  Definitely agree that he should be free to expand his portfolio.  Ah, well.  I’ve shared my thoughts… I’ll go back to listening.

    Post # 100
    Member
    9681 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @BridalBeckyBee:  Yeah, comparing a doctor and a photographer makes no logical sense to me. If we pick any job where people are naked, why not add massage therapy and porn? All that matters is how the OP feels, not how others outside the relationship are judging her. Don’t throw stones when you live in a glass house. 

    Post # 101
    Member
    5188 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @s2bmrscook:  +1

    If he doesn’t offer those services to his clients they’ll take their business elsewhere, which is not a good way to improve his career. 

    Post # 102
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Since it’s his coworker, I think that’s highly inappropriate. Personally I’d feel more comfortable going to a woman, but I’m sure she thinks your husband will give her a discount which is why she asked him first.

    ETA: I also would advise against a home studio for doing such work. Combining “home studio” and “boudoir” just sounds sketchy.

    Post # 103
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @MrsJX3:  My thoughts exactly. I avoid putting myself in certain situations, and I expect my SO to do the same. 

    I also question the intent of the co-worker.  I find it odd that she would want a co-worker of the opposite sex to do this. 

    Post # 104
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee

    I personally would not care if it were my partner. It’s business, plain and simple. It’s not like he’s going out there with an intent to oogle these women, and they in turn are most likely there to gift these photos to their own SOs and not prance around for your husband’s enjoyment. Boudoir photos are becoming very popular, so it would be a good place for him to start doing photography on a professional level.

    As for clients that are friends/coworkers…it probably comes down to a comfort level. Stripping down is a big thing, and if they have any body issues or insecurities, I can see why they’d want to go to him where they may not feel as judged. I personally would feel better in front of someone who I am used to rather than a stranger. My friend is a lingerie designer, and sure at first it felt a little strange having her design some for me knowing exactly what I wear underneath my clothes or in the bedroom, but ultimately if I’m going to be standing half naked in front of someone being measured out, I’d rather it be a friend.

    Post # 105
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Sorry, but I think you’re overreacting. It opens up more opportunities for him to do something he loves. As long as he’s a professional – and you should know if he is or not – then what’s to worry about?

    My Fiance is a pharmacist. I’m sure sometimes he sees or hears things about customers that are very private – but he’s professional and I trust him 110% not to think of anyone else in that way, at least not someone he knows.

    Post # 106
    Member
    1314 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2006

    I don’t have time to read the whole thread, so apologies if what I’m saying has already been said a hundred times over. My husband is the primary photographer in our business, and when we do a boudoir shoot he is the one taking the photos. There is nothing sexual about it. At all. Period. End of story. In fact I think a boudoir session has got to be one of the least sexual things out there to experience – despite the way the photos turn out looking in the end. When he does a shoot there is ALWAYS a 2nd female on hand, usually me assisting or the makeup artist who is a professional we work with consistently. I would definitely suggest that he have that third party there just for liability reasons.

    Maybe there are some photographers that do this sort of thing to just see naked women, but there are much easier ways to see naked women.  I think most photographers want to do it because making someone feel good about themselves through photography is a really rewarding thing, and nothing accomplishes that sort of empowerment quite like a boudoir session. I say if he has a talent for it, and you trust him, then support his business.

    The topic ‘SO wants to start offering boudoir/pinup sessions and I am pissed’ is closed to new replies.

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