(Closed) So where are the wedding instructions? HELP!

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
6212 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think the best thing for you to do right now, especially since you are going to be busy with school, is not to actually plan anything. Maybe you can look around for inspiration and the kind of look you like, but I know that at least for me, I change my mind so much that I might want something different three months down the line, let alone three years. You also don’t know if you’ll like something now (like a dress style) and then feel that it’s overdone closer to your wedding since so much time will have passed.

Enjoy this time and use the long engagement to find things that you really, really love and maybe start with categories. Like, only look at dresses. or only look at flowers. Then you can gradually start widening your circle of things that you look at so that you don’t feel like you have to make a bunch of decisions all at once.

Post # 4
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

They have books on wedding planning, or you can look at wedding planning lists and articles online.

Post # 5
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We had a long engagement too.  I didn’t plan until about a year or so out.  It’s not worth it until you get close since your ideas might change.

Post # 6
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

First off congratulations on the engagement! I would just for now just relax and enjoy being newly engage because it really is an amazing time in your life. Also I think it may be a good idea to look online for inspiration pictures and start saving some but definitely beyond that I’d hold off for a while. I’m currently in a two year engagement and I was eager to plan but have just been slowly gathering ideas.  We booked our reception venue and church about one month ago which was 17 months in advance just to make sure we got the date we wanted. But I really won’t start doing anything else until about a year out. 

Post # 7
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t have anything new to add, just wanted to say “Congrats!”

Post # 8
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

First of all… Congrats!!

We had a long engagement too (just short of 2 years). We planned everything verrry slowly. I agree that now is the time to collect inspiration, but don’t purchase anything yet! I was surprised my how much my ideas changed over the course of a year.

The things we did do ahead of time were:

– Establish a budget

– Put together a rough guest list

– Booked with vendors like our photographer/DJ/venue. These were things that I knew wouldn’t change (unlike my taste in flowers or dresses). We booked with one vendor each month in order to spread out the payment of deposits.

Hope that helps… Happy planning! 😀

Post # 9
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

First, congratulations!  Getting married is so exciting!

Since your wedding is about 3 years away, I would not start actually wedding planning for at least 18 months.  The reason is that you may change your mind about what kind of wedding you want.  I know I did, and my engagement was only 9 months! 

When you do start, the first thing you will want to do is find your venue.  The venue sets the tone for the whole event.  You could start doing this about 2 years out, but don’t book anything right away.  Just once or twice a month, go and look at a venue.  The more popular ones will book 12 – 18 months in advance, so be prepared for that.

Then you’ll get your photographer, caterer, florist, musicians, DJ, cake baker, and officiant.  You can do that 9 – 12 months in advance, as the more popular – and expensive – people book fast.  A good thing to note is that if you book someone with little experience a year before your wedding, they will have signed a contract for a lower price.  But in between that year, they will gain more experience.  In fact, they could as much as double their price during that year. 

You should start to dress shop about 9 months before the wedding.  Expect at least 1 – 2 months to find the dress, 4-5 months for it to arrive, and 1 – 2 months for alterations.  Bridesmaid dresses should be ordered at least 4 months before the wedding – 3 months to arrive, and 1 month for alterations. 

All the decor, DIY projects and little things can be done within the year before your wedding.  STD’s should be sent a 9 – 12 months before the wedding.  Invitations should be sent 8 – 10 weeks before the wedding.  Tuxes should be chosen and paid for 2 – 6 weeks before the wedding.  Premarital counseling should be completed at least 6 weeks before the wedding.  You should get your marriage license 2 – 6 weeks prior to the wedding.

But you don’t have to do it like this!!  You can have a lovely ceremony in a park or a beach, and then a BBQ or clam bake afterwards.  You can DIY your whole wedding (I am!).  If any of your relatives has a huge backyard or lovely vacation house, you could do it there so cheap. 

And you don’t have to go to a bridal salon or a florist or a traditional caterer.  You can get a China dress, order flowers and food from Whole Foods, and make everything yourself.  You could get married for less than $5000.  It depends on what is important to you.

But I wish someone had told me that I wouldn’t care what the wedding was like.  Now, I just want it over with.  I wish I was more low key.  I wish we had a simple JOP ceremony and lunch at a great restaurant.  But that’s me.  Think hard about what is really important – a fancy wedding or just being married.  Good luck – you can do it!

Post # 10
24 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013


I just got engaged in October, and we had set the date for June 30, 2013. We booked the venue almost immediately to ensure we got it.  This month we have an appointment with a photographer and a videographer, and plan to book those…we wanted to get the “big” things out of the way immediately.  In the early part of next year we will look for officiants, bakers, etc.  In the final year, slowly plan and check off all the remaining small details.  I hope a long engagement decreases the stress (not increases it!) lol. Here’s hopin’!

The topic ‘So where are the wedding instructions? HELP!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors