(Closed) So you got married yesterday, now when are you having babies?!

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve had them but mainly from others that are pregnant. I just say ‘not yet’. it doesn’t need more of a justification in my opinion. 

Post # 3
Member
1983 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly that question has never bothered me. I’m kind of open with my personal life and if I don’t want to answer a question or think a question is appropriate, I’ll let them know.

Post # 4
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yes!  We are not even married yet and people keep asking.  I know it is partly because future SIL just announced she is pregnant, but its still frustrating.

We do want children, and soon, but I am 36 and realise this may be more complicated than if I was 26.  I do not want to discuss the process with the whole extended network of family and friends, especially if I do have trouble getting pregnant.  Our official line is that ‘we haven’t thought about it yet.’  We’re hoping that such an obvious lie will give people the hint that we are not discussing it with them.

Its kind of funny, because the two people I am comfortable discussing babies with, my mom and best friend, were both tactful enough to wait for me to bring it up.

Post # 5
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - The Victorian

Longtimewait21:  I think it helps that my fiancé is much more baby obsessed than I am. We’re getting married in November and he woild be fine getting pregnant on the honeymoon. I want about a year until we start trying. I just tell people I have to put my foot down with him and it confuses them. Haha. 

Post # 6
Member
3065 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Longtimewait21:  haha get used to it! I had people write in both our shower and wedding cards that we need to get on the baby making. My parents wanted us to have kids yesterday ( weve been married 4 months!) 

My dad made grandbaby comments before we were even married lol. I just LOL, tell them ‘never’ or ‘not any time soon’ ( which may or may not be true, we plan to try in fall 2015 but nobody needs to know that lol- itll be a surprise for everyone when we do get pregnant)

I just take it in stride- its a compliment that people think we will be good parents, and Im happy my parents are so excited to be grandparents 🙂 I want my kids to know their grandparents and spend a lot of time with them 🙂

Post # 7
Member
8686 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m also 30 and we have been married for a little over a year. I think people just don’t have much else to ask unless they really know you. I don’t put much thought in it. I just say we don’t want any and the convo usually moves on….

Post # 8
Member
601 posts
Busy bee

I’m generally pretty anti-child and everyone knows it. We may eventually have one (I’m confident I’ll love my baby even though I hate everyone elses) but I’m not looking to get knocked up any time soon. We’ve been married for a little over 3 years and have gotten asked when we plan to multiply approximetly 12 million times. When did that become anyone elses business?

Post # 11
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

To be honest.. I feel like people are always rushing you through life stages

You are single – WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FIND A MAN?

You meet a new man – ARE YOU GUYS DATING?

You date – WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED

You get engaged – WHEN ARE YOU STARTING TO HAVE KIDS

You have a child – WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE…

it’s never frikkin ending!

Post # 12
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

we got pregnant about a little over a year after our wedding so people had plenty of time to nag us about when we would have a child. I got sick of hearing it and started responding with “we will have a child when my husband and I decide it’s the right time for us & when God decides to bless us with one.” That seemed to shut them up 😉

Post # 13
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I was the OP of this thread! Darling Husband and I have been married for a year now but the baby questions started practically at our reception.  We too have been together for a long time (10 years) before saying ‘I Do’. Darling Husband also just turned 30, I will in May so everyone we know basically think it’s time for us to get going on it.  In fact, SIL just asked me the other day to go through her boxes of baby clothes to choose what I want before she donates them.  That’s her passive aggressive way of saying, “have a baby already!” because prior to that, she told me she was saving them for when I have a baby and last time I checked, I’m not even pregnant! 

It’ll probably be another two years before we even start trying. I’m still in school for nursing. Like the OP, we both want to buy a house first and travel together more before we start our family.

Post # 14
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

we got married in october, and we’re 30 as well.  We’ve been together for about 7 years so we did start getting the questions immediately, some people were asking our plans even before the wedding.  It doesn’t bother me at all, in fact it kind of excites me!  Even though at the time of our wedding we weren’t sure when we would start trying, it was exciting that it was now in the near future.  We are just getting ready to book our honeymoon at the end of April and plan to start trying then.  I’ve told a couple of my friends and my sister our plans, but aside of that we like to keep it to ourselves more just for the surprise factor of announcing a pregnancy.  DH’s brother asks him every time they talk if I’m pregnant yet lol.  His wife is pregnant though so I think he’s just really hopeful we’ll have babies together but that won’t really be happening! 

Post # 15
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

Ugh, yes yes and yes. Thankfully my in-laws are not so much into that, but my own family keeps on asking and surprisingly my friends too, although they know that I want to wait. I am also turning 30 this year and have heard comments like “you’re not getting any younger” (only from my sister though) and it is SO annoying.

Yes, they might mean well, but it is none if their business and it’s basically asking me about my sex life. Plus, if I WAS trying to get pregnant and it didn’t work for some reason, this would be an extremely inappropriate  and hurtful comment, in my opinion. And guess what, as soon as you pop out a baby the question will become “Oh, andwhen does X get a little sibling? You can’t raise an only child-they’re spoiled!” 

Honestly, I am so over societal expectations that I dont even seriously answer those questions anymore. I am not obligated to make a baby, just because I am married or of a certain age. I usually just try to keep it polite and vague and answer sth like “In the future”…so they are getting an answer and I don’t need to justify myself;)

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