(Closed) "So you have to be thin to be your friend?"

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’d write a letter to the owner and mention that I took my business elsewhere!

Because what the what???

Post # 18
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

how rude! I would just tell her that you do have bigger friends, but you don’t want them ruining your pictures so only picked the skinny ones in your bridal party.

Post # 19
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@DuckEBee:  OMG!  Some of these store clerks say the WORST things.  David’s Bridal was the worst- they called my friend fat and called me “stumpy” lol!

Post # 21
9639 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@DuckEBee:  some people have no tact.  i’m glad you left and took your business elsewhere.

here’s an interesting one said by my mom:

i am petite (size 0/2), DH is a big guy (XXL clothing).  my mom is very overweight. my 3 BMs are not thin, probably size 10-16 for the 3 of the them. 

at my wedding, my mom asked me why all my friends are fat and all of DH’s friends are thin (don’t forget I said my mom is very overweight). 

i looked at her like she was a crazy person. i told her that’s just the way it is.


Post # 22
1007 posts
Bumble bee

I can’t believe she said that.  Yes, it’s rude, but it’s also confusing.  I can’t help but think she’s projecting – perhaps she’s bitter about not being asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding because she didn’t fit the “look”?

I’m imagining myself (a blonde Caucasian) walking into the shop with my 3 bridesmaids (all Asian), and having the store clerk say “oh, so you have to be Asian to be your friend?” I really wouldn’t know how to reply to that, because it’s such a strange thing for someone to say.

Post # 23
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@DuckEBee:  Some people are SO rude.

I also went shopping without my bridesmaids initially (mainly because we’re paying for their dresses and so wanted to know prices etc in advance in case they chose something over budget), and several of the shops made snarky comments; almost all of them went on and on about how x style would be flattering for larger stomachs, etc, despite not having see my bridesmaids. In the end I explained that I was the largest of all of us (I’m a US size 4-6), and they got REALLY snarky with me.

Then, when they came with me to try dresses on an assistant made a comment about their waists being the size of her thigh :-s I think she was trying to be nice/funny, but one of them has an eating disorder, and the other two have issues with food (IMPO), and I just felt it was very inappropriate. She wouldn’t have made a similar comment to a larger person (‘God, your thigh is bigger than my waist!’), so I don’t get why that comment was considered OK.

Just goes to show the unhealthy attitude that society has towards weight IMPO.

Post # 25
283 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
@butterfliesandhoney:  I hear such awful things about DB and I’m honestly so thankful that my location gave me such a sweet girl, she was so genuine and funny, made shopping so easy. I’ve decided that if I go back I absolutely have to use her again, so hopefully myself and my bridesmaids won’t run into such an awful situation like yours 🙁

Post # 26
232 posts
Helper bee

@DuckEBee:  The hate for thin women is real!

I don’t care how much people try to sugarcoat it, but for some reason a lot of women tend to dislike other women with smaller body frames. I find it so cruel how we take it out on each other rather than hold society responsible. 

Post # 27
40 posts

What a weird thing to say. I don’t think it comes across as calling you not thin either really. Unnecessary, rude and very strange.

I can’t understand why bridal store staff would be so rude to their potential customers. If you’re buying a wedding dress or a couple of bridesmaids dresses (or both) you’re probably spending quite a chunk of change. Surely the staff should be overly nice, if anything, to try to get you to buy from them.


Post # 28
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@DuckEBee:  WTF??? Who says sh*t like that??? Oh Lord some people just need to think before they speak…I’m sorry you had to deal with her!

Post # 29
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Oh wow, how rude!!  Can’t even imagine a situation where that would be OK to say!  some people have no tact.

Two of my five bridesmaids are Indian, I considered making them my co-MOHs.  If someone said that you have to be Indian to be my friend, I’d be flabbergasted.

Post # 30
47421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@DuckEBee:  I would have asked to speak with the manager. Her comment ws inappropriate even if she thought she was joking. She has no relationship with you to make joking about anything ok.

The manager needs to know that what she said lost business for the store.

Post # 31
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would’ve asked to speak to a manager and told her that I will not spend my money at a place that treats customers like that. Walk out. End of story. What a stupid thing to say. 

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