Sober Bees

posted 9 months ago in Wellness
Post # 16
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

Yes I also had a binge drinking problem in my youth and had occasions of it into my 30s. I could never just have a few drinks and enjoy myself, if I drank it was always to excess. I went from a shy self conscious polite young lady (sober) to I don’t know what (because I can’t remember most of it), but I know I was out of control, put myself in danger and was a completely different person. The affects after the drinking really affected my mental health (depression and anxiety) and caused me so much shame, regret and humiliation. I am 36 now and no longer drink and am so much better of for it!

Post # 17
Member
880 posts
Busy bee

I guess just to give a slightly different perspective– I dated somebody who was sober for religious reasons for several years. It didn’t change my drinking habits (i enjoy fancy cocktails and occasional wine. I drink socially regularly but I’ve never been drunk in my life). I think that may have been because his reason for not drinking didn’t stem from bad experiences, and he didn’t stigmatize alcohol, he simply saw it as something he didn’t do (was happy to go to bars, etc. just didn’t drink in them). 

Post # 18
Member
2677 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
gaia3465 :  I’m also sober in support of a loved one. Have been for close to 3 years. It’s gotten easier to tell people I don’t drink when they offer. Now it’s second nature. 

Post # 19
Member
11338 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
gaia3465 :  

Bee,  please congratulate your bf for me on his sobriety.  That is one hell of a high mountain to climb.

I quit drinking years ago because of the calories.  It finally dawned on me that my metabolism doesn’t work like it did at 21 when I could dance it all off.

I don’t even remember when I quit and I was quite the little lush, I was all about vodka and club soda.

I just quit. It doesn’t enter my thoughts much. Of course, I don’t hang out with a younger, drinking crowd.

Quitting just for your bf is probably unnecessary.  Does he go to AA? Have you been to Al Anon?

Recovering alcoholics have to learn to live in reality, where people drink.

Anyway, in my case, vanity trumped alcohol.

 

 

Post # 20
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

 I’ve just never been all that interested in drinking. I grew up in a family who never touched it because part of our family drank and smoked too much to their detriment so it just wasn’t allowed in mine. Probably also helped my non interest  that my mother got wild hares up her butt sometimes and had us help clean up garbage the sides of the road. Beer cans smelled awful by the way the one time I was curious about the smell.

And then on top of that I was bullied into drinking on my 21st birthday and it didn’t even get me drunk and he put a lot in. It only made me feel sick. After that I had even less interest in alchohol than the pretty much 0 percent from before. The most I do is cook with it once in a very great while because I do appreciate what it does to ground beef and steaks if it gets marinated. But usually I don’t bother because my husband has no interest in drinking either.

Post # 24
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

I grew up with an alcoholic mother.  It was awful seeing her highs and lows with it.  Then my brothers followed in her footsteps, for them alcohol gave way to drugs.  I grew up to despise all of it.  As one bee said, alcohol is quite literally a poison.  It does terrible things to our bodies.  One minute people are doing yoga and exchanging recipes for eating healthy and the next poisoning themselves at a bar surrounded by other people poisoning themselves for “the fun of it?”. My father did not have a problem with alcohol and I grew up seeing him drink responsibly.  He never had more than two glasses of wine in an evening.  So, it’s not as if I never saw alcohol in a healthy setting.  But I always saw it as foolish and never wanted to follow suit.  One person may be fine with alcohol but then have a kid who isn’t and their lives are taken over by addiction.  I saw no justification for having something so potentially destructive in one’s life, much less set into a lifestyle passed on to generations.  I mean, what’s the mentality here as we pass on this tradition?  “Here Child, take this alcohol.  It’s wonderful to drink.  It’s a little bitter and may burn your throat, but once you get used to it you’ll like it–mostly because of how it makes you feel of course.  It can reduce your stress, but it might make you sick afterwards. And it might increase your stress in the long run as, if you have too much of it, you may do things you regret terribly.  It may turn out that you  or some of your children and their children might be unable to control their use of it and become enslaved to it.  If that happens, get treatment.  But you won’t know if you have a problem until you’re already addicted, and overcoming addiction is difficult–most people relapse and struggle all of their lives with its destruction and shame.  But here, Child, take this and learn all the fun recipes and all the fun games and be sure to include it in all of your most important events, even though partaking of it may cause you and others to act like idiots and ruin those events.  Take this, Child, and pass it down to all of your generations that it may be had for fun and sickness and to be a pitfall and a snare for those who fall prey to addiction to it.  Go to, and let this be a show of my love and care for you and all of your children and their children and their children forever onward.  Be sure to scorn those who become addicted to it.  It will not help them or anyone but it must be done.” Yeah, so.  It’s a disturbing thing, in my opinion, that people go to extremes to justify because they like the short term effects of it.  Nobody likes the long term effects and everyone plays denial together. I’m also soooo sick of people drinking to excess as if it’s an inalienable human right to do so at will and then holding everyone around them accountable for taking care of them.  It’s inherently irresponsible but people treat it as a token of adulthood.  It’s just a dangerous thing, in my opinion, that has serves no justifiable purpose in society. As far as having fun?  We can all have fun without alcohol.  We can have flavor in our lives and enjoy our dinners without “fine wine.”  We can enjoy the most important moments of our lives without alcohol.  Perks include no risk of passing out at said event, forgetting said event after it’s over, puking on ourselves or all over the place during said event….Hmm.  I’ve never been tempted to include alcohol in my life and I sought out someone to marry who feels the same way.  We’re honest with our children about how alcohol and drugs affected our families.  My husband’s father realized he was an alcoholic in his late twenties and gave it up completely and he and his wife would never allow alcohol into their home after that.  My second son is a constant reminder of my oldest brother who died of suicide at 39, worn out, with his life in  ruins from the wreckage of addiction.  My son looks so much like him and acts like him sometimes:. Like my brother, he’s extremely intelligent but restless.  So I warn him to be extra careful, that he will be more vulnerable to addiction than other people.  I hope my kids can live addiction-free lives.  Alcohol has been a scourge in our society.  I despise it.

Post # 25
Member
601 posts
Busy bee

i’ve had several close family members struggle with alcoholism, and while i still drank alcohol, i definitely approached it with discomfort, and at times, became concerned with my own attachment to it.

now i’m pregnant and haven’t drank in a few months.  being sober at several boozy holiday parties really opened my eyes to how ugly drinking can be, and how people really aren’t having as much fun as they think they are having.  similarly, there were certain events i assumed would be less fun without alcohol, only to find that events that actually are fun still will be fun, and events that aren’t fun aren’t really improved significantly by alcohol.

i definitely don’t miss alcohol and i’m now contemplating giving it up altogether for the long term after my pregnancy, or at the very least, significantly cutting back from my pre-pregnancy levels.

Post # 27
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

It was fun reading these posts!

I have never been interested in drinking. I have tried sips of many alcoholic drinks, but that is about it. For me (1) I am not a big fan of the taste (2) It costs money that I would rather save (3) I don’t believe in getting drunk due to religious reasons.

My husband, on the other hand, will have a drink every 1-2 days. It is usually a beer or a shot of something. 

Post # 28
Member
13549 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I enjoy a quality glass of wine when we go out to a nice restaurant, the same way I enjoy a great meal, but I didn’t grow up in an alcohol focused family and it has never been an important part of my life. If someone told me that prohibition was being reenacted or the lockdown included liquor sales, I truthfully wouldn’t miss it at all. 

Post # 28
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 1985

In my younger years I drank but for the past 25 years could take it or leave it. Rarely do I have a drink. But I am a great designated driver and everyone knows it!

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