Sober People : How do you manage your social life?

posted 2 months ago in Wellness
Post # 16
2198 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My husband and I rarely drink anymore. If someone suggests we go out for drinks, I generally decline. If it’s a party or other event, I go but just drink water. I pretty much just don’t need the extra calories. I wouldn’t go out with a group of people who are just going out to get drunk because I wouldn’t find that very fun. 

Post # 17
2667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

I’ve never had a sip of alcohol in my life. I was in a sorority, frequented fraternity parties and I’ve had tons of fun in cities like New Orleans and Las Vegas. My opinion is that if you can’t have fun sober, either your personality sucks or your company sucks. 

Like some PP stated, I would take a look at your social circle. If they’re pressuring you a lot or getting upset you aren’t drinking, they’re not good friends. 

Post # 18
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

redroses76 :  I don’t drink that often (once every months on a special occasion) and I never say no to social events. I’m perfectly fine going and not drinking alcoholic beverages. Then again, my friends may (or may not) get drunk, but they’re still fun to hang out with even if I’m the only one who is sober.

However, if your friends drink to get drunk and get annoying/crazy… well that’s a friend problem (and they may have a drinking problem, too).

Post # 19
277 posts
Helper bee

I’m a VERY social person.  And I like a glass of wine/beer/cocktail when I’m out with my friends, which is fairly frequently since Darling Husband and I belong to a social club.  The problem is, I have a lower tolerance than most others.  And while I love loosening up and laughing and having a great time, I cannot stand the feeling of being hungover.  (Also a migraine sufferer, so need to be careful of certain wines, etc).

At my wedding, knowing it was going to be a very long night with lots of celebrating, but definitely NOT wanting to be drunk by 10:00, I made sure that the bartender poured me my * special* champagne in my bridal champagne glass until I told him otherwise.  It was actually diet ginger ale.  Nobody knew any differently and I didn’t even have my first drink until after 10:00.  

Guess what I learned?  It’s not even about the drink…’s much more about walking around with a glass in your hand.  Now when we go out, I always order a glass of water when I order an alcoholic beverage – then I’m always assured that my 2nd drink is going to be water.  I’m also starting to experiment with fun nonalcoholic drinks – club soda w/ a splash of cranberry, for ex.  I’m still as social as I always was, love my fun friends, and will rarely miss an opportunity to be out with them.  Now I just also feel great the next day!

Post # 20
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

My husband doesn’t drink at all. I used to be a big drinker in my 20s, but now I really can’t handle it. I get hangovers which can only be described as epic. We still go to places where others are drinking, I think it’s a bit easier when there’s more than one of you staying sober. Mocktails aren’t new best friend too. They’re delicious and feel a bit more fun than just having lemonade!

Post # 21
906 posts
Busy bee

I rarely drink, or if I do I drink very little. I am not a lightweight particularily, but don’t enjoy drinking that much, and have strong feelings about being even a little drunk in public (hate it). 

What I have found, is that at first when I meet new people or whatever, they are often surprised that i more often than not say no to a drink, and I get lots of questions like “oh are you sure!” etc. However, once it’s been the norm for a while, people just adapt. For the first while it will seem odd to people, but after a while they will likely still offer you something and when you decline they will just think “Oh that’s normal, so and so doesn’t drink much” and move on with the day. 

That being said, I don’t really enjoy being around people who are super drunk, so I often head home early, or don’t attend events where drinking itself is the central activity. I think as you go on with it, you’ll find yourself molding your social circle to fit more people who enjoy having a drink as an accent to the activity you’re doing, rather than as the main focus of the evening. 

Post # 22
105 posts
Blushing bee

I haven’t been drunk since high school (now 28). I dont like the taste, dont like how it makes me feel and it just doesnt agree with me in general. 

I never say no to social events because there is drinking involved. I go to wineries (I live in wine country) i go to football games ect… 

My fiance is a drinker, not to the point of oblivion, but if we are going out he likes to indulge. All of my friends drink as well. They never ever pressure me into drinking they just know and accept that I dont. Plus they like always having a Dear Daughter lol

I found when I was younger and going out to bars every weekend I got pressured into drinking more. Not by my friends but new people we met out. I would usually just order water dressed as a drink so that it was in a small glass and looked like I was drinking. that way people wouldn’t ask me why I wasnt drinking. 

I think because I’ve always been sober going out to events I am just used to being around drunk people while sober and just know what to expect. I still have fun, I go out dancing and participate in some of the crazy shenanigans my drunk friends get into. 

You just can’t give into peer pressure. At first your friends will be confused and ask you why, but if they are truly your friends they will accept it and not pressure you into drinking. It will become the new normal. And as long as you dont sit around like a wet blanket when you’re out and still have fun then your friends shouldnt care at all

Post # 24
1359 posts
Bumble bee

My fiance doesn’t drink at all. I’m a lightweight but I enjoy alcohol. I come from an area where people drink all the time, people in my family drink a lot, and I spent most of my 20s with groups of friends that loved to drink. I would only have a couple drinks because anything more and I would be sick. I tend to have my one glass and nurse it, then around 2 glasses I start to get a headache and feel a bit sick. It started to feel like I was drinking gasoline, like I was knowingly imbibing something that was poisonous for me. I may have a form of alochol intolerance, and it sounds like you may as well. Do some research for symptoms and pay attention the next time you drink. 

Post # 25
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - City, State

My fiance doesn’t drink and I am pretty glad he doesn’t because he slams down drinks even drinks that you should sip and enjoy like kombucha and ginger beer, nope, he just chugs them.

There is a lot of nonalcholic drinks on Pinterest to try and I enjoy making punch and whatnot for events like I was planning on making some cranberry based punch for when we put up the tree for example.

My family were always big on drinking and it took them a while to include nonalcoholic options to accommodate him, but now that he is at family events more often they are able to do that.

For me, I can’t drink after 8 AM because of my medicine and I can’t have more than two drinks without feeling tipsy due to my meds so it works out for me. 

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