Post # 1
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
Though my wedding is still what seems like forever away, I can’t help but worry about how to go about greeting my guests. Both my Fiance and I have self-diagnosed Social Anxiety. We are the Hang Back and Let Others Come to You type of people and can be pretty awkward when it comes to parties, mingling, introductions, etc. We will definitely partake in some social lubrication/liquid courage on our wedding day, but I was hoping some other neurotic Bees can give me and advice on the best way to greet guests gracefully and without getting awkward or overwhelmed. I’m particularly nervous about the idea of going table-to-table (what do we say to everyone, and how do we bow out of a conversation without being rude?) but it seems more modern and polite than a receiving line. Or would a receiving line be a good way to say quick thank-you’s without getting stuck in long or awkward conversations? Bees, help me come up with a game plan so I’m not the rude bride who is too anxious to greet her guests!
Post # 2
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: August 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview
jelly3: Honestly, relax and don’t think too much of it! 🙂
When you’re greeting your guests, the biggest thing is to thank them for coming. They may start a conversation or they may compliment you. If you don’t know how to respond or continue a conversation, just say thanks again, I hope you enjoy yourself and gesture to your husband to go to another table.
Post # 3
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee
I have social anxiety too! Fiance doesn’t though so that kinda helps, but I’m still dreading it. Honestly though I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride and groom are expected to sit there and have long conversations with the guests, they all know you’re busy. I’m planning on going around to everyone and saying “Hi (person), we’re so glad you came! How was your trip here (or how was the food)? Great! Well thanks again for coming!” and politely moving on. Then it’s really them talking, not me. That’s really all that they should expect anyway.
I also plan on being tipsy, so there’s that too
Post # 4
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee
This would be ideal for a small guest list, but a cute suggestion I’ve seen is for the couple to serve everyone dessert (probably work best with doling out slices of pie or cake with whipped cream). You get to interact with everyone while also having a task to focus on, and Aunt Madge will be less inclined to hold you verbally hostage when there’s other guests in line behind her ready for dessert.
Post # 5
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: October 2015 - Haddonfield, NJ
And remember – everyone is going to know it’s all about you. They’ll probably start talking before you have a chance to, telling you how wonderful your ceremony was or how beautiful you look, or generally congratulating you. I’ve always noticed at weddings, the happy couple spends more time nodding and smiling and saying thank you than stirring up conversation.
Post # 6
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom
I don’t have social anxiety, but I’m definitely introverted! I totally wasn’t looking forward to going table to table – and in the end, we actually didn’t have time to do that! We ended up getting swamped with people coming up to us whenever we were out of our seats, and most people sought us out before they left. Really, all you need to do is say ‘thank you for coming’ and respond to whatever they say after that then politely move on with something like ‘I’m so glad you could make it/it was great to see you’ and ‘hope you enjoy the reception’. That’s all you’ll probably have time for. Most of the time, all DH and I were really doing was introducing each other to our friends and family.
Post # 7
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
I have social anxiety and we didnt do a receiving line. We just served canapes after the ceremony and people came over to US and congratulated us. I am also not a huggy kissy type of person and a receiving line would have been super awkward for me.
I also find attending weddings as a guest with a recieving line an awful ordeal. I hate the waitiing to do the handshake and kiss on the cheek with a few words malarkey!
It was all fine in the end. No dramas, no panic attacks either.
If you do decide to go to tables just use the get out line, thank you so much for coming I will catch up with you a bit later, but I must go and mingle some more. or something like that.
Post # 8
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’m totally an introvert. When you’re the bride, you will probably know everyone (or at least know of everyone), so there’s no awkwardness in going up to people to start a conversation. I agree with having a few phrases that you can say to anyone (e. g. Thank you for coming, I hope you have fun, etc.). If there’s a particular feature at your wedding (e. g. photobooth), you can encourage them to go to it. If you run out of stuff to say, tell them that you are going to get more food or drink, and then you can move on. It will be ok!
Post # 9
Member
2536 posts
Sugar bee
At our wedding we stood at the entrance to our wedding breakfast room and said hello and thank you to our guests as they came in. This saved us being “announced” into the room and also gave us the chance to speak to everyone but it was on our terms and they were coming to us.
I will admit that I was just so overwhelmed with the whole day that I very much kept myself to myself and only actively went to speak to a few people (mainly my husband and family) I did speak to others obviously and was happy to do so but I didn’t go to them. This isn’t different to want I’m like in other social situations. Happy to speak to people but they need to come to me (unless I need to talk to them specifically)
If I were you I would have as small a wedding as you can. I think this will help.
Post # 10
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
Gosh, I love the Bee! You all made me feel so much better about going around from table to table at my wedding. Those with anxeity know that logic sometimes gets overpowered by worries, but having some words of encouragement and a gameplan can help immensely.
I’ll be having about 100 guests at my wedding, all people I know or know of as
craigslistgirl: pointed out, and most of them family so that does make things easier.
Speck_: I love your idea of serving dessert to the tables as a way to have something else to focus on other than saying my hello’s!