(Closed) Social Anxiety and the Guestlist, dun dun dunnnnn

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
2133 posts
Buzzing bee

I have bad social anxiety. We had ~90 people. I didn’t believe people when they said it doesn’t really phase you on the day-of…. It’s true!! 

I wasn’t nervous at all walking down the aisle. I looked at everyone and it was a total blur, honestly. Saying our vows went quickly and smoothly. I didn’t even pay attention to anyone except the officiant (brother-in-law).

Don’t worry, it goes by so fast! 

Post # 3
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Hi, first of all congrats! Secondly, i don’t know if any of this will help.. but I have severe anxiety, and hate being the center of attention and in the spotlight, i never had a sweet 16 or bat mitzvah or any of that growing up for those reasons.. I had a lot of fear and anxiety leading up to the wedding, and most people i feel like are nervous about actually getting/being married, where as i was just nervous about walking down the aisle with everyone staring at me etc. To be honest, it was an incredible day and went perfetly, but i also blacked out most of the day. There are large parts of the day i barely remember/had an out of body experience almost. I felt like it wasn’t my wedding and it was someone else. It was great don’t get me wrong, but i feel like it was so much that i couldn’t really experience everything.. I can’t wait to see the video because there are so many gaps and parts i can barely remember, but i am just so happy to be married to my husband i don’t really care lol. Ps i wasn’t drunk or anything, i just felt like the day zoomed by and was sooooooo surreal, if that makes any sense. But nothing bad happened, no panic attacks, no freakouts, the whole day went smoothly, just flew by!

Post # 5
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
FutureMrsHitBee :  yup! Try not to let it get to you.. try not to think about it lol and just focus on married life and what that will be like. Also i forgot to add there were around 220 ppl at our wedding!

Post # 6
Member
2667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t have anxiety, but I just wanted to say that I’m with you on not understanding why people you haven’t seen in however many years need to be on the wedding guestlist. Both Fiance and I have met every single person on our guestlist, except for the boyfriend of a family friend (they’re long distance) but will actually be meeting him when he’s in town in a few weeks (and we’re not 100% sure he’ll make it to the wedding at this stage anyway). There are a couple of people whom he or I have only met once or twice in the 9 years we’ve been together, but they aren’t total strangers to us. We both have extended family that we’ve either never met or haven’t seen in 10+ years and didn’t feel that it was necessary to invite them to our wedding – fortunately, our parents agreed with us so there wasn’t too much pushback on our decision.

Post # 7
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

If you are nervous about saying your vows in front of 100 people why did you settle on a 100 person wedding? 

Mmy advice is to frame up a guest list based in people you both can’t imagine having the day without. I don’t believe in inviting extended family you barely know just because they are related to you. I did not invite my mother’s sister or my cousins because I haven’t spoken to them in about 5 years, I don’t know anything about them and you can be sure they know nothing about me. I figure if they can’t be bothered to call me on Christmas and say hello/hi/how are you, there’s no reason to invite them to our wedding. Or, as Fiance puts it, Everyone on our list is someone we would be happy to take out to dinner at and catch up with!

Its 2016. Have the wedding you want to have, and don’t lose sleep over the people you barely know who you are notion voting. 

Post # 10
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Temescal Lake House

I have the same problem. I have horrible anxiety in general. I would like about 20 people but we are having 80. Which is ok. He is more social than I am. we are planning on having a big bridal shower before hand with everyone invited so I can meet all/most people I haven’t met yet (a good amount of his family) Also, I do plan on having a mimosa or 2 to loosen up. I plan on remembering every moment of our Wedding day but just enough to relax me a bit. Just remember it’s his day too. If he wants family there then it’s ok, he only gets this once too! All about compromise 

Post # 12
Member
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I can’t help on the axiety side but I’ve seen threads on here where people narrow down their guest list by removing people they haven’t spoken to in a year, etc.

The topic ‘Social Anxiety and the Guestlist, dun dun dunnnnn’ is closed to new replies.

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