Post # 1
wedding back story- I am getting married in nov. We are having a small family and close friends only party an hour away. My fiances grandfather is 92 and lives out that way. He could not drive an hour into the city for the wedding, so we decided to get married at his church. It is really meaningful to us since my fiance’s grandmother has passed away.
i have social anxiety and have dealth with this for 10 years. Large crowds honestly freak me out. Actually having to converse with more than 3 people is an anxiety attack waiting to happen. I dediced to have a small wedding to avoid a large crowd, although my family is large so we are still at 50 people. I also had a day time wedding to avoid dancing (although we will have a DJ) Finally, the reception is at the church fellowship hall since we are paying for wedding ourself and we recently found out no alcohol is allowed.
I’m excited for the wedding but my anxiety is through the roof. Im nervous to converse with everyone even though they are all family. im nervous to have everyone staring at me during the first dance. and finally im nervous everyone will just be judging me for having a “boring dry wedding”. I know once i am married the day with go smoother because i am married and thats what matter. Also, we have been toghether for 6 years (engaged for 4) so our family is proud and happy for us. i shouldnt worry about the judgement. ugh
i know i am not the only bride that deals with anxiety and not being confident to the full extent. I just wanted some advice. thank you.
Post # 2
Commenting to say I feel you. While talking to people doesn’t freak me out, being the center of attention and everyone looking at me is the stuff of nightmares!
I would say a glass of champagne or two could calm your nerves, but I’m guessing that is out. I plan on concentrating on my SO as he is my rock and always relaxes me! Good luck!
Post # 3
Hello, my SO is the same way! He is so humble, personable and & honestly the life of the party. I know he will help me throughout the day. Also regardding champagne, i plan on having some while getting ready.. possibly mimosas. thanks for responding.
Post # 4
I too struggle with anxiety and really don’t like being the center of attention. I opted to elope which for me was the best decision ever.
Do you take medication to treat your anxiety? Perhaps a doctor can prescribe something like Xanax for your big day or you can have a glass of champagne before arriving at your venue.
Be in the moment, focus on just you and your Fiance and block out all the background noise and distractions. Deep breaths!
Post # 5
Oh, I feel you. When my ex-H and I got married, we had no guests. None. There were 2 photographers, a videographer, the resort’s wedding coordinator, the officiant, and the two of us. That was it. And, aside from the part where I picked the wrong groom, it was exactly what I wanted.
My current BF/probable FH wants about 50-100 people and it already makes me nervous, but I love him and want to give him what he wants. He’s just like your SO – very personable and makes friends easily. He’s good at pushing me out of my comfort zone without overwhelming me, but being the center of attention at a wedding is definitely an entirely different story.
You have a couple months to keep thinking about coping mechanisms! Is there anything that’s worked in the past?
Post # 6
If I had to do it over I’d ask all cameras be turned off for the ceremony, that gave me TONNES of anxiety. And I’d find a way to avoid the traditional bridal entrance. My wedding was only 30 people, but walking down an aisle with all eyes on me nearly gave me a heart attack, not fun!
Post # 7
Even my tiny ceremony gave me anxiety and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to sleep the night before so my doc prescribed me a low dose of xanax and I have to say it worked wonders. I slept the night before and felt completely present and not anxious on the day of. I read my vows confidently without a hitch and felt really comfortable and in-the-moment with my husband the whole day.
Post # 8
I feel for you. Anxiety is an awful thing that convinces you it’s going to go horribly even when you know, logically, that’s a lie.
For the first dance, if you’re really worried about all eyes being on you, maybe you could get your parents to join you on the dance floor 30 or so seconds in and encourage others to do the same. That way the focus isn’t on you for the whole song. A friend did this at her wedding and it was really sweet (plus more interesting for the guests rather than watch her and her new husband barely sway for the full 5 minute song they chose). It’s something I might try to convince my boyfriend/soon-to-be fiance to do as although he’s a great dancer, I am quite clunky due to problems with my joints.