Post # 1
I’m sure this is a post somewhere, but as we’re all starting to emerge from shut down, have you noticed a difference in opinion for how to distance? For example, do you have parents who want to hug their grandkids, but you’d prefer to stay away? Or do you have a spouse who wants to be more lenient than you do? If so, how are you navigating these situations? We have a few different situations that don’t line up in my immediate circle, so I’m trying my best to appease everyone while also making sure not to go against my comfort level.
Personally, I’m a bit more lenient than my husband. He’d still like to never go to the grocery store, but I’m ok with my mask and distancing when possible. We’re still both not trying to do a dinner party inside someone’s house yet.
Post # 3
Yes, for sure. We just had a socially distanced garage pizza party with my parents and brother/SIL. She’s pregnant with twins and my parents are older, so we were all highly cognizant of everyone’s comfort with being in close proximity (or lack thereof). Ex: my brother and SIL had to come inside to use the restroom, but my parents weren’t comfortable even doing that, so they didn’t. And that was perfectly fine. But I told my SIL I’m also pregnant (yay!) and she wanted to give me a hug, which I was totally fine with. With us both being pregnant we’ve found that there’s also quite an emotional toll from being so distanced form everyone so sometimes small risks are worth it (I hadn’t seen any of my family in 4+ months, and my SIL and I both work from home so our exposures combined are still very low).
My brother and husband, however, both still have to go to work every day with masks and interact with the general public. It’s not the best, but we also feel blessed to still have gainful employment. Our sort of MO has been to let our parents stay as distanced as they feel comfortable with while we continue to be smart, responsible, and aware, while following state and local guidelines. It’s mandatory in our state that to go inside any public business, you must wear a mask, and we’re happy to do so. Things are starting to loosen up a little so we’re taking perhaps small calculated risks, but by no means are we going hog wild or living life “as usual.” I think our goal is to be respectful of everyone else’s varying levels of comfort and to act accordingly.
Post # 3
I’ve noticed differences, for sure. I’m ok at the grocery store with my mask, I’m okay at the park far away from people. At work I don’t mind talking with my coworkers with masks on because we are following a lot of the protocol, although we aren’t normally 6 feet apart. I don’t like talking to customers who can take their masks off at certain times. I feel like a lot of my friends aren’t pushing for get togethers. I do have one coworker who insists on having people over to her house for things but I always decline and I think a lot of others do too.
my boyfriend and I agree about a lot, he’s probably more wary of touching things he isn’t sure are super clean (like he will double wipe down a grocery store cart when we saw the attendant clean it, whereas I won’t always). His family are keeping distance, when we see his mom there is no touching and usual mask wearing unless we are farther apart. His older uncles and aunts who he is close to we aren’t meeting with, for safety reasons.
the biggest issue im dealing with is my mom. She lives 800 miles away and bought a plane ticket to visit me for the 4th of July without telling me, after I thought her trip was cancelled due to the virus. Soooooo…….I am keeping track of my temp frequently in the weeks before she visits, working way less to minimize my risk of getting it and spreading it, telling her to be strict with a mask on her travels and that she needs them to get into places here. I’m very uneasy about the whole thing.
Post # 4
My husband and I are still being pretty cautious, but both of our families are pushing for get togethers, which is getting frustrating. I think my mom is just tired AF of her husband being home (hes laid off, shes WFH) so he keeps asking my husband to hang out. My husbands family also wants to have a BBQ and keeps getting mad that we are pushing off going over to their house. I would consider going to their BBQ if it was JUST BIL+wife+kid+parents, but I know that they will also invite the wifes parents, her brother and wife, possibly more. And thats too many for me I think. I don’t want to be the debbie downer not attending these, but I really really dont want to, and I’mnot sure how that will go down with his family =\
Post # 5
I’m with you. We just saw my in-laws for the first time in a few months a couple of weekends ago, and the only way I would go if it was a) outside on the deck; b) just family (my husband’s parents and his sister) and c) it was understood that if I had to go in the house to pee (pregnancy!) I was wearing a mask and didn’t want to get any flak about it. I think you’re well within your rights to say what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, and make it clear it’s in no way a statement on whether or not you want to see family. It’s just trying to be smart and protect yourself.
Post # 6
My husband and I are on the same page, and a lot has just opened up where we are in the past week, so we’ve been out and about a bit. Haircuts, nails, stopped in at a bar, etc. We won’t be attending any large group events, they aren’t allowed, but I’m sure certain friends will be throwing some parties soon enough.
Post # 7
Honestly speaking…my husband and I quit caring. We were both WFH and now we began going into work three times a week. We also attended a wedding last weekend and had a blast. We wear masks where it is mandatory but we do not really care anymore. I think depression and frustration has gotten to us both especially with recent events and people gathering in large crowds for certain events. We are done trying to do our part (we quarantined ourselves for three months) but fully respect others who are more cautious. We also do not live near any family members so its just us.
Post # 8
I’d say I care but don’t care. We wear masks in public (inside) and I stand back from guests to a certain extent, but we aren’t high risk and don’t have any high risk friends or family living nearby. Also I’m one who believes this is something that ultimately will be caught by everyone. So while I’m happy to have stayed home and reduced the risk of overwhelming the hospital, I’m kinda done with that now.
We live near a town where I would expect most people to take every precaution (due to the political makeup of the population). We went there for dinner and I was surprised to see that the streets had tons of unmasked people. There were rules about how to do the mask in the restaurant and I saw two idiots blow right by that sign and up to the bar where they were promptly turned back. The look on the woman’s (bare) face implies that she’s been under a rock since January at least. So even in a hyper liberal anti anything Trump spews area, there was a good mix of people who don’t give a damn.
And in a more conservative area in another town (and harder hit area to boot, though for different reasons) people cared even less. Maybe 50-60% had masks in the grocery store.
so yeah, I’ll take required precautions, no skin off my nose. But I’m not surprised that many can’t be bothered anymore. And if/when my parents finally get to visit this summer, you can bet you’re ass I’m giving them hugs and letting them hold my (8 month +) baby, assuming she lets them.
Post # 9
Yeahh, but I know the in-laws will think im just the evil DIL trying to avoid going and/or keeping their son from going lol. They are planning something for next weekend, so we’ll see how it goes, depending on who is invited.
Post # 10
I am getting to be like both of you too. I had quarantined for 14 weeks and I am now ready to get into the wild again. I do have my masks, and I’m ready to see small groups of people outside. But my husband isn’t quite there yet and it’s starting to bother me a bit. I don’t want to do everything alone! But at least he isn’t “not letting” me do that stuff.
Post # 11
Sorry you guys are both getting some pushback. We’re the more conservative ones out of everyone we know, and I’m a bit more leniant than my husband (I’ll see 3 different small groups within a span of a week, for example, where he will only see a group then wait 2 weeks before seeing a different group). We were recently at a family gathering and were given a hard time about wanting to distance – from our high risk parents! It was really frustrating. We can only say so many times “please keep your distance, it’s nothing against you” haha
Post # 12
I have a two year old (tomorrow!) and a one month old, so we are probably still being more cautious than some. We decided to have outdoor distanced birthday celebrations for my son – husbands family will be driving from 2.5h away on Saturday, weather permitting, and my family will gather the weekend after. Obviously people will have to use our bathroom, so we plan to clean the main floor one and then not use it ourselves after for a while (after cleaning it again). My Mother-In-Law just indicated on the phone that she expects to hold the baby – they haven’t met her at all yet, other than by video chat – with a clean shirt and an n95 mask. I’m not quite sure how I feel about this… still have to discuss with my husband because it kinda took me by surprise… so far the only other people who have held her are my parents, with masks, when they dropped my older son off after we came home from the hospital (had been quarantined 8 days and had my son for 3 so we figured risk was low/whatever they had my son would have). Since then, everything has been outdoor and distanced.
We want to send our oldest back to part time child care at some point (in-home daycare, only one other kid that we are aware of at this point), but with the new baby are not sure, and don’t know when we will know (at this point, I’m thinking maybe after her first round of shots, but who knows).
I know some of our family/friends are starting to do less-distanced get togethers and honestly that is upsetting to me because it makes me less likely to allow them to meet our baby, which we really want to be able to do. But we can’t make everyone stay as isolated as us (we limit to backyard visits and distanced walks with one family who are also on maternity leave/WFH). We all just have to work within our own comfort levels I guess. My husband is slightly less concerned than me (perhaps the lack of postpartum hormones flowing and the fact that he sleeps better than me…) but we are mostly in agreement…
Post # 13
Yes, I’ve seen the full range in my friends/family. It’s really tough. I’ve been furloughed from work since March, go grocery shopping once a week with a mask, no get togethers, etc. My husband has worked the whole time in wastewater, which is pretty high risk right now. Since I’m not working, I took the responsibility of taking high-risk Mother-In-Law to all chemo/doctor appts during this time (1-3 times a week). When I see her, we don’t touch, both wear masks, sanitize the car before she gets in, as careful as we can possibly be. SIL is a nurse working directly with COVID patients and thinks it’s fine to see her mom (she planned a surprise for mother’s day) while Mother-In-Law is very nervous about the whole thing.
On my side, my mom and stepdad have been very safe. Both are working from home and only go out for groceries. My dad is still working outside of the house, but I’m very proud of him for wearing a mask and using sanitizer.
I also have friends who are asking to go out to lunch and planning large gatherings in the next couple months. My husband and I aren’t comfortable going out to eat yet, especially since I see his mom so often.
Post # 14
I’m not over it, but with proper precautions, I am ready to get back into the world.
We are going to stay at our place in the country for the summer and occasionally go back to the city. We are just so close to so many people in the city. I can’t walk my dog without running into 15 people. Where we are staying is very rural and I don’t see people unless I go to the store. So in that sense, we are still choosing to be more cautious.
But also, we have opened up our circle to certain friends and tonight we are going out to dinner (on a patio)!
I have friends who are still scared to leave their houses and I can respect that. They need to do what is best for them.
Post # 15
I’m high risk so the amount of people not giving a crap is disheartening to me. We’re all sick of it but I don’t have the luxury of not caring.