(Closed) Socializing as Marrieds

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

Surprisingly up til very recently, I preferred socializing as a couple, but now I find either way to be fun.  What I really have problems with is socializing with people that are single.  I guess as we get older, single people seem more OBSESSED with finding relationships (that’s natural, I know) and I find the dating scene, and talking about it, extremely difficult.  I’ve found myself drifting from friends that arent "attached".  It sounds pretty bad huh?

I would say we do a healthy 50/50 socializing together and seperately.  I have different types of fun as a couple and as a "girlfriend". I honestly find my husband to be a really fun and funny friend of mine, so even when we hang out as a "couple" we’re not really "couple-y".

Post # 4
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We’ve drifted from many of our single friends, I feel bad saying it, but you just start feeling like you have less and less in common.  We need to find us some cool married couples to start hanging out with.

Post # 5
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s funny because I just had this convo with my Fiance yesterday. I have noticed that I have really started to drift away from some of my good friends and I swear it is because we have gone our separate ways. I am about to graduate and get married, and they are still living like they are in high school. They aren’t having fun unless they are drinking or hanging out with other single people. This is SO not my crowd anymore. I don’t feel bad about it, I just feel like I grew up a little quicker than them. I am sure we will be close again once they are getting married and getting serious about life.

Post # 6
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

My 2 best friends got married this past year one in June one in July and then me in October. We mostly socialize with them and their husbands or with our best man and his girlfriend. We do however both have friends that are single but live out of town so when they come in town we do seperate socializing with them.

Post # 7
Member
225 posts
Helper bee

Not married, but my live in going on 3 years boyfriend and I socialize together a lot with singles and couples.  Recently, since we moved to a city where we mostly have single friends (as opposed to college and highschool friends, many of whom are also in serious relationships), we mostly hang out with single friends.  Tip – It’s easier to hang out with singles in groups than two on one.  In fact, I love and long for the occasions when we get to hang out with our one couple friend here, because it’s just such a different vibe.   Still, I am happy to maintain both kinds of friends.

Post # 8
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

Half and Half. I try to socialize more with Mr.F since were married… cuz when we were engaged we would always do things separately. I really dont mind either way….

Post # 9
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles

Mr. J and I socialize almost exclusively with each other.  We went to law school together and after we graduated, our whole friend group ended up moving to the same city.  Thus, we have pretty much the same group of friends and almost everyone is coupled off.  It’s fun and it works because we have such similar interests anyway, but I do think I need to expand my group of girlfriends more!

Post # 10
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant

The mister and I don’t have very many couples friends, so we mostly either socialize seperately or in one bigger group (we went to the same college so we have some of the same friends). We actually joke that we need to take some couples classes so we can meet more couples!

Post # 11
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We mostly socialize with marrieds- that was true before we got hitched- basically because most of our friends and younger relatives were engaged or married before us!

I do enjoy doing stuff as a couple, but find that I need to have girls night out at least once a month!

Post # 12
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d say we do about 75% on our own, and 25% with couples.  However, a lot of the socializing on our own is things like lunches or happy hour, so it’s doesn’t feel like one person is going out while the other is left behind. The other thing is, his friends work normal hours whereas I can only catch up with mine when they’re not on call…  so I see mine more  one-on-one, and he generally goes out in a group, golfing or watching sports.  On the weekends when we make plans it’s usually a big mixed group or with another couple.

Post # 13
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

We mostly socialize seperately.  Husband works nights and I work days, so our time awake is completely opposite.  As a result, when I’m ready to go out for a drink, he’s sleeping, and vice versa.  It works for us though, as we are used to do things seperately.  I do feel, like a few other posters, that it is a bit harder to socialize with singles.  It seems like I’m just out to have a good time while they are out to find someone.  Hopefully my husband gets moved to days soon, and then we can go out and find us some married couples to hang out with!

Post # 14
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

We mostly socialize with other couples, either married, engaged or in long term relationships.  It wasn’t so much a conscious choice as much as it just happened that way.  Now we are so used to it, we tend to gravitate toward other couples when out with more single people.  When he or I meet someone through work or whatever, the first thing we ask eachother is, ‘Is he/she married/engaged?’  Haha, we are always looking for cool couple friends.

Post # 15
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We mostly socialize with married couples.  But they are the same people we socialized with before we got married; we just mostly had married friends.  So it’s actually great – instead of me heading to a girlfriend’s house to hang with her and her husband, Darling Husband comes along and we all have a great time.  Luckily we mostly like the spouses of each other’s friends.  It was actually the wives of three of his friends from college who threw me the best of my mini-bachelorette parties!

We also still see our single friends – either singly or together.  My single girlfriends all think he’s pretty great, and most of his single guy friends are pretty charming and funny.  There are a couple of single friends we have some issues with – but they were always problematic, because even when we were single, neither one of us was really out to score.  So while we don’t see those friends much anymore, I would have to say that we didn’t see them much before we got married.

Post # 16
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

when I am with my hubby I find it easier to double date, lots of his friends are coupled up or married, while my friends tend to be funloving single people; because i still like to have fun I tend to become good friends with single fun-loving people. When I bring my hubby along it’s hard for me to socialize because I feel like I need to entertain my hubby when I want to socialize with my friends, while my hubby is looking for me; it was the same before we got married, I had a lot of single girlfriends, so it was wierd inviting my hubby along, someone will be out of place, either my girlfriends or my hubby I am in the middle trying to keep everyone entertained. I find it easier to socialize with my hubby if we are out with other couples. No one feels like  afifth wheel. Now that I am married I tend to go home earlier, I dont feel the need to be the last one at the party anymore, and I dress more conservatively in mixed company; but my usualy flamboyant self when I am with my hubby

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