(Closed) Soldier Coming Home!

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

@KCbride11: I just wanted to comment & say how exciting this is! My husband is also serving in Afghanistan but won’t be home until the end of the year. I hope the time he has left goes by quickly for you!!

Post # 4
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am so happy for you! Yay! Will your party be the same day he comes home? My cousin’s Fiance is planning a huge backyard BBQ at our family’s lake house. It will be a surprise party with all his friends, relatives, comrades the day he arrives home. I can’t wait! I have a ton of baking to do for it. The kids are all making a huge banner and I believe someone said they were roasting a pig.

Hope the time passes quickly for you. πŸ˜€

Post # 5
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Hey there! My Fiance just got home from Afghanistan a few months ago, so this is fairly fresh. My best advice is to do what he wants, but don’t over plan. Don’t have a big party the day after he gets back. There’s several reasons for that: 1) He’ll be exhausted, like passing out in the car on the way home, no joke. 2) It’s going to be overwhelming and maybe too much of a good thing. 3) He probabaly won’t want to talk about deployment 24/7 which is what everyone at the party will want to talk about.

I’d give it time and maybe a week or two into being home have the get together. Do it on a small scale with only close family/friends and if you can maybe schedule visits with other people when you get around to it. Remember that some things do change while they’re over there. It’s not necessarily a terrible thing, but it’s a fact of time. He become anxious/hypervigilant in crowds where he can’t see what everyone is doing with their hands, for example or other things. You just don’t want to (with all the good intent in the world) push him into something that makes him uncomfortable, ya know? My Fiance still has a thing about bags and debris on the side of the road. He doesn’t panic or anything, but it makes him uneasy. You just can’t predict something like that.

When my Fiance got home it was just me and him and we took a little trip to the grand canyon so we could get away and be by ourselves. He wanted peace and some solitude and I couldn’t wait to see him and have him all to myself.

You really just don’t want to push it and my advice is to run everything by him and don’t plan too much in advance. Let him dictate the schedule once he is home and getting acclimiated again.

Enjoy having home home!! It’s something incredible and it’s that one moment that makes the deployment worth it. I hope the rest of deployment flies by!

Post # 6
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree completely 100% with Thursdays Child.  Let him readjust before you get him around a group of people unless HE suggests it. 

Post # 8
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@thursdayschild:

@Mrs. Menard to Be :

**Congratulations to you both and thank you both for your sacrifice and for the sacrifice of your loved ones! I honestly can’t give you any advice on this because I haven’t been in the situation of it being my Fiance, but I have had close friends and relatives and come home — and for the first while they’re back, they’re normally quiet and a little more reserved.

My Fiance is intending on enlisting, so I will probably be asking for this same time of help in the years to come, but I will be as supportive as I can be!

Again — Thank you both and good luck!

Post # 9
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@thursdayschild: I totally agree!

Wanting to throw a party for him is totally sweet, but maybe wait until he’s home, so you can ask when he would like it? When my Mr got back from sea, all he wanted was a bath and a dominoes! But you know him better than anyone else, so I’m sure you’ll get it right!

Post # 11
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Woo hoo!!!

 

Everyone says signs– depends on what he likes.

 

Honestly, I brought him a jack and coke, and a plain coke zero–both icy cold. Any myself. That’s all I brought. He ended up not drinking the alcohol but was really happy he finally *could.*

 

The first day back usually wants to play video games, drink beer, and eat pizza. We make pizza, get beer, and sometimes he even gets around to the video games.

Post # 12
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am so excited for you!!! My Fiance is currently in Iraq and will be returning home at the end of this summer too.. I agree with PPs, my Fiance is content with just doing absolutely nothing when he gets home.. I don’t know about other situations, but I know that when he was home on R&R, he felt uncomfortable being around large groups of people and would’ve rather it just been the two of us.. A BBQ sounds like a lot of fun,  but maybe after a few weeks of him being home, to give him time to just settle back into everything and enjoy being back with you?

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