(Closed) Some advice please? And a bit of a rant

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Not all men save for the ring.  I think you are comparing him too much to other bees on this site! Which, be honest, in the real world not every fiance does these things.

I know my fiance wants to marry me, but it would sooo not be him to “plan” it, and save for a ring, and all that.  Deffinately not something he would do, and I would be crazy to expect that from him!

 

Post # 4
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yes.  Focus on what you DO have instead of what isn’t right.

Are you planning the wedding?  Do you have a date set?  Is he helping to plan?  Has he asked his friends to stand up with him?  Has he told his family?  What was their reaction.

Don’t “sit” on things for a year.  You can’t see a text a year ago and just bring it up now.  He may have felt like an idiot for a million reasons, but now he can’t explain and you won’t feel satisfied.

I would try to let it go and be happy.

Post # 5
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t really think it’s fair to assume he put no effort in because he bought it online…and the fact that it was poorly made and he still proposed…well you gave the guy a deadline. Wouldn’t you have been equally angry if he hadn’t proposed on your trip? He bought you a new ring when you complained….and he spent a lot of money on it.

It sounds like the guy has literally done everything you asked for, but now you’re still not happy. I think you need to give him a break.

Post # 6
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think you’ve gotten everything you seemed to want/ask for but if you’re having hesitations maybe you need to rethink the marriage/relationship and figure out if its right for you.  You didn’t really mention the wedding or your new life together.  Can you focus on that?  The ring is just a small piece of the whole deal.  Maybe there are other reasons you feel you pressured him and you think he doesn’t have his whole heart in it.  Address this with him, its easier now than later.

And in response to this, “Also when we returned from our trip. I saw he’d texted a friend saying “hi in back! I proposed to ___ and she said yes. So… I’m engaged. I know… I’m an idiot””

Not sure on the context, but you must know that guys kind of joke around about marriage/relationships.  They complain about being bossed around because that’s the stereotype even though they like it, even if you don’t do it!  A wedding is kind of the same – you know the guy line – the end of his life – even though he’s so happy and looking forward to it.  Maybe its just this.  Ask him, he should reassure you.  

Post # 7
Member
2275 posts
Buzzing bee

All men are not the same. And men in real life aren’t like the leading men in chickflicks that ladies drool over. I think you are overthinking the ring. I personally saw an online ring that I like, maybe he thought you would like yours too.

 

You got the man to ask you to marry him. The text he sent sounds like every other text one of my male friends would send to another male friend. i don’t see the issue with it.

 

He might also feel bad that he wasn’t able to get you gifts so he was remind you that this was ring #2, which was more expensive and he couldn’t get you anything for X mas.

 

I think you need to let up on him a bit. You are engaged, you should be happy, don’t sweat the small stuff and focus on the good.

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