(Closed) Some advice to the waiting.

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Great post!  It reminds me of a post that Mr. Bee did a while back.

Post # 4
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

PERFECT advice! It’s almost as if my Fiance wrote this himself…

Post # 5
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

>_> Geez…I didn’t go that crazy.
It is really good advice.

Post # 6
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nice. This is great, Mr. Tat! I was not a nagging girlfriend, but I did get a little too preoccupied with wedding stuff for a while, and though I didn’t rub it in his face, he knew I was going crazy with the wedding blogs, looking at dresses online, rings, etc… probably put pressure on him unintentionally. When I cooled off a bit on the wedding hype and just relaxed about us, I think he noticed. And it was super important to him to have the proposal be HIS thing, and a surprise. That’s a really important point you made when you said that — This is the one time we get to be in the spotlight. So just let us have it. So true!

Oh I also loved — BAM! This is where you ladies should LEAVE IT ALONE! Hahaha… when your man says he’s gonna do something, sometimes you gotta just take his word! 🙂

Post # 8
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I love this post, but at the same time, it’s really hard to let go of all control of this ENORMOUS decision in our lives.


If I hadn’t thought about the ring and the wedding and everything–honestly I would have said no. If I had “backed off” the reality of HOLY COW THE REST OF MY LIFE?!?!? would have hit, and I would have said no.

Let us both have our crazy.



For the record, I’m married, and he never proposed. One day he just said, Ok, how about we get married next week?


And, still, I DO NOT think of this as the rest of my life. That is WAY too scary. I just know I am happy with him. No one knows the future, so who cares if it’s forever or not? I’m sure we’ll make it work no matter what comes our way, it’s a commitment, and I’m willing to work on anything but that idea of “FOREVER” and “NO SEX WITH ANYONE ELSE” those get to me, too. That’s not just a man’s perspective.

Post # 9
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Oh, ouch. Sorry, I think I have to say that I’m in a bad mood right now, so that last post was a little harsh, but I don’t want to edit it out. I just want to let you know.


The whole thing is stressful on both sides, and both men and women have to be forgiving and gentle and patient and most of all understanding.

Seriously–on both sides.

Post # 10
64 posts
Worker bee

@ellabee: Let us both have our crazy.

I agree!

Post # 11
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Thanks, Mr. Tattoo! It’s nice to hear the man’s perspective, coming from one of our ‘graduated’ waiting bees!

Post # 12
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Meh, no offense Mr. Tat, but you are not every man. My Fiance would write something nearly opposite what you had stated. He knew I was the one for him long before I knew he was for me. He’s not emotionally stilted by any means, yeah, I’m hot, but he looked deeper than that early on. Maybe because of our circumstances, or our age, or how we met, but whatever.

Please don’t put all men in the “no more unadulterated sex” box. I’m sorry if thats how you see it, but my Fiance sees it as “holy shit I get to sleep with this MILF for the next 80 years”, not “damn I’m missing out on all that other @@@@”

He didn’t want a wishlist for my ring, he built it from scratch. He researched, picked out the diamond, setting, prongs etc. A lot of thought went into it that wouldn’t have happened if I had looked online and printed out a few I thought were pretty.

So Meh to your thread Tongue out


Post # 13
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Meh or not… your candor is appreciated.

Post # 14
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@PopRox: *gives snaps*

Post # 15
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

interesting post – there is ALOT i know my husband would comment differently on but i appreciate the honesty

Post # 16
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Very interesting read… good to see one man’s perspective. 

I do have to comment about the BAM! This is where you ladies should LEAVE IT ALONE!  LoL… sooo much easier said by someone NOT in the waiting position than actually done by the waiter.  Some of the things that were happening that you mentioned– bridal mags, calls from David’s, etc– were a bit much, LoL, but still I just don’t see leaving it alone completely.  If it’s something this big and life altering… it’s exciting.  You’re gonna want to look at stuff and talk about stuff.  Not saying that it should be driven into the ground, but still…

Plus, a guy saying that he wants to marry you is a lot different than him actually doing it.  LoL.  Not everyone is as wonderful with following through as you are.

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