(Closed) Some advice to the waiting.

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I was never really “waiting” so to speak (we had talked about marriage and I knew a proposal was coming, but everything moved along pretty quickly), but I just have to say: regardless of whether I agree with everything, it’s refreshing to see a guy’s perspective on here ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 48
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Mr. Tattoo: hilarious and insightful ๐Ÿ˜€ I like!

However I do have to disagree with you on one thing (at least in my SO’s case, but he’s pretty much the most unconventional guy I know so….its not THAT much a surprise to me)

He told me he knew after 3 dates…thats right…it all its insanity he told me that thankfully though after 6 months like a normal person lol. He also said I love you first and pretty much was the first to ask to be exclusive…so I guess some men do know ๐Ÿ˜› Then again I chalk this up to my guy being a wierdo. A lovable, awesome wierdo ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 49
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

lol I see why men don’t stay on this site for too long. Some of you are taking things too personal. He was speaking for HIS view. Does every man who comes to this site have to post a disclaimer so some women don’t feel offended that they think he is talking about all of man kind?

Shit, some bees on here scared Mr. Coffee off with this exact attitude. So your man knew from day one. Great! You don’t have to be snarky about it and say, “Well speak for yourself because MY man knew from day one he wanted to marry me.” Well great! Then this post is not for you. I don’t get why a man can’t come here and share his exp without being torn apart sentence by sentence.

And when he was basically saying shut up about it, he probably meant talk about your future more than the WEDDING. Mr. T was sick of the WEDDING talk but he didn’t mind the “what school district should we move into? Where should we open a joint account? What county do you want to buy a house in?” kind of talk. That’s MARRIAGE talk. That’s what he probably meant about shutting up about it. SMH.

Post # 50
Member
881 posts
Busy bee

@Miss Tattoo:

Yeah, its pretty awful.  I think it really stems from insecurity – like, ‘oh no, did my guy just say that to be romantic?’ or ‘did my guy really think the same way?’ or ‘bringing up that I’m still waiting every Saturday night isn’t nagging…is it?’

Like I mentioned, lots of bees have no problem at all telling me that I’m in the minority because I haven’t been dreaming of a Polly Princess wedding since I was 4 years old.  They should also give the same courtesy of realizing that he isn’t talking about ‘all men’ when he says ‘guys think this way’ any more than I’m supposed to think posters mean ‘all women’ when they say ‘women have been dreaming of planning a wedding our whole lives’.  Again, just my opinion.  I really think it just struck a chord with women that suddenly were faced with wondering if their guy really DID ‘know’ the second day he knew her (I would certainly run if a guy said that because they don’t even KNOW me and I find that a little over the top FOR ME, but a lot of people still believe in love at first sight.) ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 51
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@EleanorRigby: I agree with you about the SO not saying to you ” I was going to propose at Christmas but now I am not since you brought it up” Mine said that to me and it made me feel like I ruined it also I thought to myself “is he just saying that and he really wasn’t going to anyways?”  You can not give a girls hopes up like that it is such a tease. It made me feel like I couldnt bring this subject up at all with him, which is not good because I should be able to talk to my SO about anything.

Post # 52
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@luckyprincess: I believe in lust at first sight. lol 

I don’t know. Even the post by Mr. Coffee was ripped a part. And where is he now? Gone. 

Post # 54
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I liked the post Mr. Tattoo:) I wasn’t one to talk about a wedding pre-engagement, more so the marriage but I would still have to say Fiance would agree with you on alot of those,

Post # 55
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Mr. Tatoo, I can say with utter certainty that my husband would say you were absolutely right with most of it. 
Please don’t stop posting, I’m loving a guy perspective!  And despite what people would say about men being less worried about a “no” to their proposal I don’t agree.  By the time we got engaged we’d been together over 5 years, had already bought a house together and before we decided to buy I asked him if he ever intended to marry me because “I’m not about to be somebody’s girlfriend FOREVER.” 

And he still didn’t tell a soul he was going to propose b/c he “wasn’t sure I’d say yes.”  REALLY???  So you never know how someone else’s mind works!

Thanks for posting, Mr. Tatoo!

Post # 56
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

Reading this again in my more pessimistic mood, a lot of it makes a lot of sense. I really don’t want a “shut up ring.”  I haven’t talked to BF about my feelings about this in awhile, no prodding, and I’ve been focusing on us here in the present rather than worrying about the future.  Even still, I’m 99% sure he has not gotten a ring, nor intends to purchase it soon.  I guess he just don’t want it.

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