- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Just want to see what you guys think of this situation. I know I am a bit petty in parts, but some of it seems logistically difficult, too:
Part one: Baggage
DH and I were married Spring 2014. One of his best friends was an usher and his fiancee sent in their RSVP card to say they would both be attending the wedding. Then, at the rehearsal dinner his fiancee mentioned she would not be coming to the wedding the next day because she had to work. As far as I know she hadn’t gotten a new job in the month since she’d sent the RSVP card back. Also, this part is definitely petty, but it’s just another bit of baggage that bothers me so I’m including it: they didn’t give us a gift or even a card.
Part two: Destination Wedding
Summer 2014 we received a “save the date” for their Mexican destination wedding that will be taking place in very late 2015 (and gave everyone LESS than a two week window to decide whether we were going or not, so really it was more like an informal invitation than a STD). I was still annoyed about the stuff above, but we committed to going because this guy is one of DH’s oldest friends, so of course he wanted to go. And really, I owe him since he’s traveled to out of state weddings for friends of mine. The cost for the all inclusive hotel alone is $1400 ($100 of which was insurance that allows us to cancel for any reason). We haven’t priced flights yet, but I imagine they’ll be at least another $1000 total. So, we’re looking at at least $2400 total.
In the meantime, Friend and his fiancee decided to get married last month in a civil ceremony (which I only know because they posted it to Facebook). It was kind of infuriating at first, because we’re shelling out all of this money to see them get married, but I logically know that it really makes no difference in my life and maybe it was necessary for a legal reason.
Part Three: Baby
We found out in November that I’m pregnant (yay!) and I’m due in July. Come the time of this wedding, the baby will only be 4 months old and change. So, we would either need to take the baby with us to Mexico (which would probably be OK, but DH has said “I don’t think we’re allowed to bring the baby with.” If that’s true, our minds may be made up for us), which I’ve heard can be just fine; the only thing I’d really be concerned with was keeping him/her out of the sun and how the plane ride would be. Who knows what kind of temperment s/he will have!
OR, we would need to leave the baby with our parents for 5 days, and even now I’m not sure I’ll be comfortable with that. I plan to breastfeed, if I’m able, so that poses a problem for leaving the baby at home; what if I can’t pump enough?
Either way, bringing the baby with or leaving the baby at home, I don’t know if I’ll be able to relax and actually have fun. I have absolutely no idea what me-with-a-baby will be like, but I do have an anxious personality. There are just so many factors. We are OK financially, but an additional $2400+ cushion would definitely help with the 7 weeks of unpaid maternity leave I’ll be taking.
Based on all of this, would you go to this destination wedding or would you cancel?