some Bee’s dresses…. “honest” opinions??? really?

posted 8 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 17
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it depends on how far along in the picking and purchasing process that particular bee is in.

If she just started out looking and hasn’t quite decided or posted with multiple dresses, I don’t mind giving my honest opinions. I won’t bash the dress that I think doesn’t work, but I’ll try to really stress the positives about the other dresses or ones that might work better.

However, if its just some second thoughts and they need some reassurance, I have no problem doing that too.

Post # 18
Member
5179 posts
Bee Keeper

I have seen it quite a few times.. If they ask, I tell. 

Post # 19
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s hard to tell how flattering a dress really is. Especially if the bride is trying on a sample that is most likely not her size, and we’re looking at a low-quality cell phone picture.

 

Post # 21
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Koala Bear: I think it depends on how far along in the picking and purchasing process that particular bee is in.

I agree with this. If she’s already bought it, I feel like “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t…” Plus, most pics are in bridal salons with the hair and makeup not done, no veil, without proper undergarments or alterations.  So it may look “unflattering,” but it will likely look 1000% better on the actual wedding day.

If she hasn’t bought the dress yet and she’s unsure or expressing doubt about certain elements, I’d be honest.  

But mostly, if a bride LOVES her gown and the way she looks, that’s the most important thing.  I think a confident girl in a less-than-perfect gown will look better than a girl in a “perfect” gown who feels self conscious, IMO.  

Post # 22
Member
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I only give it if they ask. And I do my best to be honest! I want honesty and the “cold hard truth” on some things and so I do my best to give it when other people want it too. However, if they don’t ask and are just excited they found a dress they love and I am not a fan, I keep quiet. Not everybody has my same taste and there is no reason for me to tell somebody who found something they obviously love that I don’t like it. It would just be unecessarily mean.

Post # 23
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with what most other people have said. I’m probably more honest than some or maybe it just feels like I go against the grain more.

I’ll usually say something really specific and also try to find at least one thing I do like. “The fabric looks nice and flowy but the bodice doesn’t really flatter your shape. Have you tried a sweetheart neckline?” or “I love the lace on the train but that shade kind of washes you out, does it come in a diamond white?” etc.

If it’s absolutely horrible and I can’t find anything good to say, or if they are just saying “yay! I’m so excited” I just don’t comment at all.

Post # 24
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013 - Home

I normally don’t comment on threads asking for an opinion about which to buy. I evidently have no fashion sense, because every.single.time the one I think looks the best is the one everyone says “Oh, no, not THAT one! Ew!” LOL.

But if a bride has already bought it, I will find something nice to say about it. Dresses are like babies. Everyone is convinced hers is the prettiest. While it may not be true, I can always find something I like about it (“Oh, look! It is such a pretty white color!” or “My goodness, isn’t that something?! And that cathedral length veil just finishes it off perfectly!”) You know, the whole Southern precious and lovely thing. 🙂

Post # 25
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I say “oh honey NO!” outloud and then close the post. There is no way I would crush someone like that in a post.

Post # 26
Member
278 posts
Helper bee

OMG, I will never post my dress in here… lol! 🙂 I would be scared as hell!

Post # 27
Member
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Like most, I keep quiet on the ones that aren’t asking for opinions. Not my place and all that. If you’re asking for an opinion (and sound unsure) then I may tactfully point out that the style or cut or something “could be better if _______.” I’m usually most honest when someone posts several dresses and needs help choosing between them. Because then I don’t feel like I’m crushing anyone’s hopes if I don’t like one of them and just prefer another.

Post # 28
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I like it when there are polls on a dress and you can choose other if you do not like the dress.

But on the other hand I realized the mermaid styles that were the most flattering on my figure did not feel like me so I am sure ppl look at my gown choice and think oh that is just WRONG but I picked the dress that was the one I felt the best in if that makes sense knowing empirically that my figure looked better in a completely different style.

So that has to be taken into consideration along with just everyone has different tastes too.  So I try and always temper my thoughts with as long as she loves it.

So if she has doubts no matter even if it looks good I encourage her to try on more. But if she loves it – then that means it is the perfect dress.

Post # 29
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think this is a symptom of dress salespeople being overly complimentary to sell dresses.  My friends picked out this absolutely TERRIBLE poofy, ridiculous, absolutely horrifying dress (think of the one from Bridesmaids) for me to try on (as a joke!!!) and when I came out in it, the saleslady was like “OMG I loooooooove that on you! You look beautiful!”   and I just started laughing my ass off – my friends were practically in tears from laughing.

I know they need to make a sale and all – but – it should also be their responsibility to give helpful critique that friends or family may not feel comfortable giving.   I personally would be more eager to buy a dress from someone I thought was honest with me – not just oohing and ahhing everything I put on as she counted up the commission in her head…

Post # 30
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If the girl has already bought her dress I usually won’t say anything unless there is something really simple that can easily be fixed to make the dress better (adding______, removing________). If they’re early in the picking I will give my opinion which I like best, I still don’t usually say why I don’t like the other ones.

It’s hard to say though because everyone feels different about what they want out of a dress.  For a lot of girls, they want to look the skinniest they can, others want to show their curves, some want functionality out of their dresses. So it’s hard to give an opinion without knowing what they were looking for.  I know my dress is not the one that made me look the absolute thinnest it could (the one that did make me look the slimmest was totally not my style and completely uncomfortable). But I picked a dress that was (at least I thought) flattering to my body, a style I liked, and fit my personality and overall style/feel of my wedding.

Post # 31
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@unixfairy: That’s exaclty how I felt about my dress, it had to fit my style as well as look good on, not just the one that was the most flattering to my figure.   And I love your dress!

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors