(Closed) Some More Perspective.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Aw, that’s a good point! And so sweet that it’s that important to him πŸ™‚  Since you know he’s got it and just waiting for the right moment, hopefully it will be easier for you now! You’re SOO close!  Hang in there girl!!

Post # 5
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

@Torrid: I have been there, exactly in your place. I too have a man’s man and he said almost the exact same thing to me! This happened March 1 (yes I remember the date, it was awful). And now I haven’t brought it up once! Good luck to you, I totally know how bad you feel.. because I did too :/

But we got over it and moved on like you did and it was just fine πŸ™‚ I just keep trying to think to myself..,I know he wants to marry me, and it will happen, soon and it’s great just being with him. Enjoy the “single” title while it lasts, because for the next 40ish years I’ll be married!

Post # 7
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

@Torrid: I read your other post.. and NO do not tell ANYONE! We made the mistake of telling our families about ohhh… about 4 months into our relationship we were getting married in October 2012. Here we are, our 2 year anniversary is coming up next month and I feel dumb to say the least. On the one hand, I am so thankful we didn’t rush into things. There have been a lot of things we’ve learned about each other and I am glad we’re still just “dating”. On the other hand, I’m like s%&t or get off the pot, ya know?

Anyway, since I’ve been “waiting” this whole time, I’ve got my whole damn wedding planned out. Seriously. Don’t feel bad if you want to start planning, you know it’s imminent. I haven’t really talked to anyone but the Bees πŸ™‚ about any of my plans. But I’ll be excited when the time comes to share!! So, to answer that… I still thought about it.. and had several meltdowns and it took me until last month to finally realize. Yours is RIGHT around the corner, just start planning and and visiting the bee and hopefully it will keep your mind off saying anything to your SO! 

 

Post # 8
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

@Torrid: I am dying of laughter over here regarding your plea!

For some reason, I couldn’t give a rats patooty over the proposal or the ring, so I never bring them up.  What helps me when I get antsy is to think about our relationship in chapters of our story.  You’re dating and that’s Chapter 1, or maybe even the Prologue, whatever is your flavor.  In order to move onto Chapter 2, there has to be a big wonderful finale!  Or maybe it’s chapters within parts and the last chapter of Part One is the proposal.  Anyways, relish the last of the chapter because once you’re engaged, there’s no going back.  And once you’re married, that’s the rest of your life!  So look at this as a time of excitement and wonder and anticipation.  That’s what helps me  πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Hey Torrid, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the age of your guy. From the picture I would guess…. mind 20’s?

Post # 13
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

Ok, he’s at a perfect age for proposing then. πŸ™‚

You obviously know this, but it is SO important to not say anything at this point! Any peep or “crap” from you (from his perspective! I don’t think it’s crap!) will just push it out further. HE HAS A RING! That is wonderful. It is freaking happening. This proposal shtick is ON!  πŸ˜€

Keep busy, be sweet but not another word! If you need to find some way to vent, come here and post everyday if you have to! I know I don’t mind! OR! Record your voice ranting about waiting and the delete it after listening to it. Have a few moments here and there where you let yourself cry. Holding stuff in is not healthy and it is not good. So just bottling up all your waiting feelings really isn’t a good idea. You (and myself included!) just need to find a way to release that pressure in a way that our significant other’s don’t know about.

I myself suffer from an anxiety disorder (and a host of other nonsense) and I honestly think that the stress of waiting for me is legitimately unhealthy. I mean it stresses a lot of ladies out. But when you have recovered from an anxiety disorder to the point where you can be in public again, you do not need something like this making you take 3 steps back in your recovery.

So, if you want, I’m more than happy to brainstorm ideas for coping that are beyond just “keep busy” .

Post # 15
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

First, I want to say I don’t think you sound ridiculous at all! I also have an obsessive problem as well that manifests in my thinking and some physical ticks.

I also get stressed from sickness, but I have autoimmune issues to compound that as well.

I can very much relate to your post. So, I recommend toothbrush therapy or shower therapy. Where you sit there and kind of meditate and tell yourself you will not bring it up, you will not talk about it, you will talk about _____ and ____ instead. Just don’t scold yourself! lol

Think of next week as the perfect opportunity to show him your “quiet” side. πŸ™‚

And remember that each day you bring it up pushes it further away, but each day you don’t brings it closer to you.

(I hope I don’t sound harsh, I’m sleepy and can’t tell. I just know a firm “I can do this.” attitude can help me tremendously….just as long as I don’t stress!) 

 

Edit: I swear I proofread.  =/

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