(Closed) Some people have a lot of nerve…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wasn’t this posted a long time ago? I know I have read this before.

Post # 5
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Your Fiance is right you need to stop allowing her to get you upset.  I personally wouldn’t have even invited her after how she has acted in the past, from what you have said.  If she comes she comes, if not don’t worry about it and stop letting her selfishness bother you.

Post # 6
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The way you phrased it in your reply e-mail is perfect. You handled this well. I should hope she responds with an “OK” and doesn’t turn this into drama. If she does, handle it with class like you have been and try not to let her upset you!

Post # 7
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

If she comes, don’t be surprised if she brings her friend anyway…

Post # 10
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The reason for lack of communication is always hard to judge, because you can never be sure what’s going on at the other end – maybe her sister is a bridezilla and is consuming all of her time, for example.  It sounds like she hasn’t been “herself” lately.  I think it’s for the best that she’s not in the bridal party anymore, because one would start to wonder if she’s going to show up at all given her recent track record of responding to inquiries.

You definitely did it right by leaving the ball in her court.  Friendships need to be two-way streets where both people reach out to each other, and now it’s her turn to reach out to you if she wants the friendship to continue the way it used to be.

P.S.  In regards to her signing off on Facebook… well Facebook chat is notoriously sucky, and I’ve been kicked off of chat while in the middle of a conversation more times than I can count, so it’s conceivable that she didn’t sign off on purpose.  🙂

Post # 13
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@7SEVENJ9: I can somewhat sympathize. I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a university friend’s wedding in the fall of ’08 across the country. We had been very close during the time we were in school together and aftewards. It was me who finally encouraged her to go across the country with me so she could finally meet her now husband. (They were internet friends, and their friendship flourished and she started to really think he could be the one, but she couldn’t make that decision until they met in person). So I dragged her across the country with me when I went to go visit friends who live in the same province. And a year and half later, they were married.

About 6 months after the wedding I stopped hearing from her. There were some medical concerns that were discovered after she got married, and I knew it was hard on their relationship. I kept trying though. Finally, last summer I tried one more time and sent her an email letting her know the lack of communication really hurt, no response. So I gave up.

A couple of months ago I received a missed call from her. Her husband meant to call his brother (we have the same name) and dialed the wrong person. But she acted like nothing was weird about the fact I hadn’t heard from in a year. She promised me she’d update me on her life. But I didn’t hold my breath. And sure enough, I haven’t heard from her since.

It is hard when friendships change or fizzle out. Especially when it appears to come out of the blue. But, you can only do so much before you have to move on.

Post # 15
12 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

It sounds from your description like maybe this girl’s fiance is the issue…maybe he is overprotective, doesn’t like you, and mandated to her that she isn’t allowed to be your maid of honor, and so she had to make up some lame excuse.  He could also be telling her not to talk to you…not to excuse her behavior by any means…but just a hypothesis…I’ve seen it happen to people i know, sad but true.

Regardless of the reason, you have done your part, it is time to let it go.  If someday she can make amends and be a friend again, then maybe you can start a better healthier relationship then, but as hurtful and sad as it is you can’t let it bother you anymore, don’t let her insanity ruin your day.

God bless.

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