- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Wow. I’m floored. Just when you think that people can’t be any more selfish…
You may remember from previous posts that I had some wedding party drama about 5 months ago when my “best friend” of 17 years (we’ll call her ‘X’) emailed me while I was in a foreign country alone on business to tell me she “had several large pieces of furniture to buy” and was writing to let me know that she was not going to be a bridesmaid… you may also remember that this was the girl I had asked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, and had refused.
For weeks after returning to the US, I tried contacting X to talk about what was going on and figure out everything. She avoided my calls, emails, txts… About two months later, Fiance and I won $4 playing the lottery (hahaha) and I jokingly posted on facebook about how we were lottery winners, all $4. X commented saying “don’t spend it all in one place” – the first contact in almost two months. It took every fiber of my being not to offer the winnings to her as part of her furniture fund. Snarky, I know.
Anyway, lots of people asked me if I was even going to invite X to the wedding. I figured since she unilaterally made the decision to back out of the wedding and not be in contact with me, that she could make the decision whether or not to attend. The onus had to be on her. So we sent our invitations on 7/6.
So last week I was on facebook chat and sent X a message. I figured I would try one last time to reach out to her. I asked her how her wedding planning was going – she’s getting married at the end of next year – a question I had asked her a few times via email, but with no response. She answered that it was going well, but that it was on hold because she was preoccupied planning for her sister’s wedding in September… and when I asked what day… she SIGNED OFF!!!
She avoided my question, which I assumed meant that her sister’s wedding was the same day as mine… since we hadn’t seen an RSVP from her and she’s usually pretty prompt with that sort of thing… I even sent her a message saying it was nice catching up and was sorry she got booted offline, but that I’d love to hear more about sister’s wedding, giving her the benefit of the doubt… no response.
Today is 7/25, still no RSVP from X. BUT today I got an email from her…
Subject: question for you
Body: Hey, I have a favor to ask you. Don’t worry, I WILL be at the wedding. 🙂 But, my sister is getting married the weekend before you, and my fiance will not be able to take two weekends off in a row. I was wondering if you would mind if I brought my best friend ‘Y’ (she was in music class in high school with you) with me instead?
Um… YES! I do mind! Your invitation said Ms. X and Mr. X’s fiance. It did NOT say ‘and guest’ and why the hell should I do you a favor at this point?! And frankly, there are many other people that I would rather have at our wedding than your friend from high school. We had to cut our guest list as it was!
So I responded, tryyyyying my hardest to be civil, despite how I wanted to respond.
Hi X, We’re sorry to hear that your fiance won’t be able to make it to our wedding.
In regards to bringing Y instead, we would prefer to stick with invited guests only. We already had to limit our guest list by cutting +1’s for friends and family without significant others.
No response yet. Fiance says I should not waste my time being upset about her, that I’ve done so much for her over the last 17 years, and thinking back she’s really done nothing for me… and part of me agrees… but the other part is really upset/hurt/insulted.
She’s a fellow bride-to-be, and seems to have nooo idea what IS and IS NOT okay. Or she does, and just doesn’t care to extend courtesy to me and Fiance at this point.