(Closed) Some people have a lot of nerve…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
Member
14988 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow.  Unbelieveable.  Sorry that you had to lose a friend like this, but sounds like she wasn’t a good friend worth keeping anyhow.  I know 17 years is a long time, but you did your piece and tried, its her loss.  Best wishes to you!

Post # 19
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow… from potential Maid/Matron of Honor to a declined RSVP.  What a let-down.  As someone who has lost three (yes three) best friends in her life, I feel for you.  *sigh*  Such is life.

Post # 20
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ugh, just read your update. What a disappointment that she is choosing not to support you. I also feel for you. But it sounds like you really did everything you could to include her and to roll with the punches. So sorry!

Post # 23
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My ex-MOH did kind of the same thing to me.   I had to know why, though, so I did call her out on it.  You might just want to ask her what’s with the sudden 180.  If the friendship is over, at least you can be at peace knowing that you did what you could and it was her fault, not yours.  That helped me get through my friend issues. 

Post # 25
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wash your hands of it – you won’t get a real answer and you’ll just drive yourself nuts analyzing whatever she says.

Post # 27
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you should take the higher road and just not respond.  You should wash your hands of this and move on, and don’t talk to her anymore. She’s not worth your friendship.

A quote that really helps me put things into perspective (i lose sleep over stuff like this):

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”

 

don’t let her burn you, move on.

Post # 28
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you’ve chosen the right thing to do in each case, from what you’ve described. It sounds like this girl was somehow looking for a reason to be mad or something, and there is nothing you can do when someone else engages in this kind of activity. I suggest calling up a few of your other awesome friends, organizing a fun night, and deepening the friendships with the folks who treat you right. 🙂 Even though this is such a negative experience, at least you know her true colors now, rather than if she had accepted a Maid/Matron of Honor position.

Post # 30
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I totally understand, I would be dying to say something snotty back to her. And she would totally deserve it! But I think July’s quote nails it. And if you do happen to see her again, just totally kill her with kindness. It’s much easier said then done – but if you can pull it off, it’s SO MUCH FUN to watch the person get all confused about why you are being so nice to them. (Where’s the devil emoticon when you need it?)

 

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