Post # 1
This isn’t wedding related but I need to rant.
I have a one year old sister (weird I know but that’s what happens when your father dates a woman young enough to be his daughter). Both my father and his ex (the baby’s mom) had their parental rights removed for drug use. Her parental rights were removed two months ago and his are gone as of yesterday. Both of them have asked me to go through foster care certification so I can take care of her. I said I can’t because I don’t have a home/time/money suitable to raise a baby. I work and am in college so I’m just not in a place in my life for a child (or I’d probably have one of my own like a normal person). So now my family with the exception of my mom has disowned me for being a “selfish b*tch” (my father/his exs words). They say I need to step up and be responsible for the family. In what way is this my job? I didn’t shove meth down their throats. How is this my responsibility? I want to take her, but I know she wouldn’t have the proper care or attention if I did. None of my family will speak to me any more because of how “cold, heartless and selfish” I am being (my uncles words). I am the only one who doesn’t do drugs in my family so somehow it’s my job to clean up after everyone that does?
Post # 3
YIKES. What an awful situation you’re in! 🙁 I’m so sorry. Do you have any other siblings or aunts/uncles that could take care of the baby?
Post # 4
I hope the baby finds a caring home. Foster homes can be rough. But I am sorry you have become the scapegoat for their anger.
Post # 5
Drug addiction is a very sad sad sad disease. Don’t allow them to make you feel guilty.
If you know you can’t handle that responsibility, don’t take it on. It is not your fault or responsibility.
I wish you and your little sister luck! Hopefully there will be someone who will be able to love and take care of her like she deserves.
Post # 6
oh how sad- that poor baby. what an terrible situation.
Post # 8
Yikes. Keep your head up. You are doing the right thing. Stay in school and take care of yourself. The child will go into a foster home that can take care of her.
Post # 9
It isn’t your responsibility. If you are not in a position to take care of the child, emotionally, physically, mentally and monetarilly, then you shouldn’t. Maybe if they get their act together, and go through the proper processes on getting clean they wiol be able to get their child back. It is their responsibility, and they are putting the blame on you, because they are addicts and don’t want to take responsibilty for their actions. Hopefully someone who is responsible steps up to the plate though, so your sister doesn’t get lost in the foster care system. Though usually babies are placed in exceptional homes.
Post # 10
The are plenty of capable foster people even ones willing to adopt if need be to take care of your sister. It’s not your obligation–parents SHOULD NEVER make their children take care of their other children. It’s their fault; unless they can get off meth (which is difficult) and get their shit together, this child will not be in their care and the state may eventually terminate parental rights.
Post # 12
That is terrible. I’m glad you are making this decision for your circumstances and not taking it on out of guilt. I can imagine how difficult this is to have it fall on your plate even though they made all the mistakes. Can someone from the baby’s mom’s family help out?
Post # 13
There are foster families that can probably provide for their child better than you can in your current situation. It sucks that they’re so selfish they lost their rights but it shouldn’t be your responsiblity to take care of their child – you can still be a great sister to the baby but you shouldn’t feel guilted into the role of parent for your sibling.
Post # 14
what the actual fuck? drugs screw with people so bad – how about they take their own advice and “step up and be responsible” and get themselves cleaned up so that their children don’t have to raise each other? sorry you’re a fuckup, dad & ex gf, but on the upside you’ve showed me the kind of waste of a person i DON’T want to be.
Post # 15
Agreed, some people should just be steralized or something. I don’t think you’re a bad person AT ALL for not taking care of your dad’s kid. I think it may even be better the kid goes to “random” home so that your family will be more out of the kid’s life. That sounds kinda harsh & I don’t mean to insult, just if a parent or relative is a druggie, the kid grows up around it & thinks its ok & a lot of the time will follow that same path. Hopefully it will be a wake-up call to your family but otherwise, until they get clean, its the best for your sister.
As a side note, if you do foster, you should get paid for taking care of the kids you foster, the money is all to cover the kid’s food/clothing/other expenses. I definately understand not having the space/time or even just be ready for a baby or kid in the house.
Post # 16
Whoa, I’m sorry you’re going through this. To be honest, it sounds like maybe being disowned by these people is the best thing for you. You don’t need to be around that dysfunction. It is absolutely not your responsibility to give up your life to raise your half-sister. I’m sure there are thousands of couples who would die to adopt that baby.