Post # 1
My boyfriend is getting my e-ring designed and has been showing it to my sister. She has just warned me that I might need to talk to him about it, because while there are parts of it she knows I will love, she says the overall look is something I’m probably not going to be happy with. (her words: it’s too masculine; the band is too thick; etc.)
I am a-ok with bringing this up with him. Except: I don’t want him to think my sis has spilled all the beans or anything like that. I love that he’s getting it designed; I love that he wants it to be a surprise. But I want to make sure I like the design, too!
Has anyone ever dealt with this? Any recs on how I should bring it up without putting the blame on my sis? (I don’t want him to think she ratted him out or anything.) Like, “Hey, can we talk about the ring? I know lots of couples that designed or picked it out together and I’ve heard it’s a great bonding experience.” ?? Is that lame?
Post # 3
Why doesn’t your sister say something to him about it? I don’t think you should talk to him about it directly. Why don’t you forward some pics to your sister of ones you really like and then she can say “see, I forgot she sent me these pics a while ago about what she’d like” which obvs wouldn’t be masculine and wouldn’t match. So that way it’s coming from you but you are out of the picture. You don’t want to spoil it for him…it’s a very special thing you know. Plus you can always get a new setting after if all else fails.
Post # 4
Yeah, I agree. There’s really no way to talk about this with your Fiance without him automatically knowing that your sis spilled the beans. She needs to talk him into making it a bit more feminine.
Post # 5
I asked her…she said she feels like she’s pushing and pushing and he’s still going with his overall look instead of hers. (Which, I mean, he’s allowed to do, of course.) She says she keeps telling him to go for “elegant and timeless” and he keeps coming back with, well, non-elegant, I guess. (LOL.)
Hmm. Maybe I need to rethink this. I was thinking I’d go home tonight and bring it up. I also hate not being honest with him about it, you know? Like I’d rather just say, “Listen, sis told me I might want to check in with you about the ring.” and sort of go from there.
But I don’t want to hurt him!
Post # 6
@notthatkindofgirl: If your sister has seen it, could you have her pull some pictures with some features that are in the ring. Then some things that are NOT but you would LIKE? Like, “I love the engraving/milgrain/channel-set/shared-prong” or whatnot, and then “I don’t like the band to be so thick” or “I want to make sure that a standard band will fit against it vs. curved so I can wear it alone if I want/don’t have to spend a fortune for a custom band”? And you could pass it along, or she can relay the information?