(Closed) Some rules don’t make any sense?! Yes, vent.

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Ok, so here’s the problem.  It is 100% allowed (and actually recommended in many countries) to get married in a court house then in the Church.  However, if you do that, you are not to act as “husband and wife” until the Church ceremony (because the Catholic Church considers that the “official” wedding).  So you should not call him your husband, have sex, change your name, etc. since you are not actually married in the eyes of God.

If you are willing and able to act as if you are unmarried, then you are fine to approach the sacraments and your fiance is fine to continue in his RCIA process.  However, if you act like a married couple, then you should not approach the sacraments and he cannot complete RCIA because you are considered to be in an “irregular state” in the Church.

You shouldn’t feel like “scum” even if you are in an irregular state because you did not mean to do it, and God knows that.  All you need to do to go back to good standing (and being able to receive Communion) is to stop acting like husband and wife (sleep in separate beds and no sex) and make a good confession to a priest.  The priest should have explained that to you.

I hope that helps.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

CatholicBee is exactly right – I just wanted to add a second voice to help you confirm what she’s saying it spot-on. 

Priests can be really intellectual. They can also get burnt out. Others are jolly and warm. I think they have the same range of personalities that everyone else does! Please don’t get frustrated with the whole church and all of its people just because a priest was snippy with you. I am so sorry that happened, though! Things should have been explained much more kindly to you. 

I love the Catholic Church, but I have no problem saying that I have been really disappointed once in a while by a priest or two. Such is life!

Post # 6
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@aguilpul: I’m so glad you’re working it out and excited! I wish you all the best. 

The topic ‘Some rules don’t make any sense?! Yes, vent.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors