Post # 1
I have a very HUGE heart and you can call me any time for any thing and I’m always there. I have been taken advantage of a lot of times but it still doesn’t stop me from helping the next person in need.
I felt like I was just played but may be I’m just overreacting.
One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man just moved to a new city with her daughter for a fresh start. She has only been there 7 days and her and her cousin who she moved in with got into and arguement and her cousin told her to get out of her house in the middle of the night with her daughter. She text me at 2 am asking if I can Western Union her some moeny because they were in her car asleep. I called her and asked where she was and got on the computer and found a hotel, called them and had them fax me a CC authorization form and within 15minutes I had a room booked for her.
I told her I was going to get off the phone with her and text her the address to the hotel and to call me when she got there. She texted me when she got there and text me that she was in the room and thank you and that she was tired and will call me in the morning. Then she text me back and asked if she could have the room for the whole week at that rate. One of my many jobs is at a hotel so I was able to use my discount for the room. I called back the hotel and they extended the stay for the whole week.
This was 2 days ago and she hasn’t called me. I texted her yesterday asking if she was okay and she replied yeah just looking for a job.
I just feel like if someone does something for you, you can at least pick up the phone and say Thank You. I put the whole week’s stay on my card and told her she can charge her meals to the room as well. I don’t care about the money and I am glad that I am in a position to help her. Is it really that hard to pick up a phone. She always tells me that I am to nice and I always let people use me and now I feel like she did the same.
I don’t know why but it just really bugs me.
Post # 3
@mrsjjohnson2b: Totally understandable. I will say that first of all, you’re an awesome friend! That is so very kind and generous of you to do for her and her daughter.
For things like this, try to think of why she wouldn’t call. Is she very emotional and feels she would break down on the phone? She could be trying to be tough for the kiddo. She may be very busy with finding work and figuring things out. Aaaand, she could just not realize that this is something that deserves more than a text.
All in all, no matter what, try to focus on the positive feeling you get by helping her, and take any sort of thank you/contact as just an added bonus and as a reminder that you’ve helped her so much. Any expressing thanks in the way she feels comfortable is still a thank you, and that’s the takehome. It’s taken me a long time to learn that I should try give without expectation (even totally justifiable expectations such as a phone call) and just let my happiness be the reward. The rest is just extra.
PS- Just wante to reiterate, you are a very kind and generous friend.
Post # 4
You definitely sound like you have went way above and beyond to help her out. I would expect a phone call if I had just done that for a friend of mine too. However, maybe she is embarrassed that she had to go to you for that big of a favor?
Post # 5
so you are paying for a hotel for a friend to stay in for a week and you dont even get a phone call from her?
i suggest she is stressed plus having to care for daugther has been her priority but i can totally understand how you are feeling – your karma bank has to be overflowing
Post # 6
Is it possible she is just flustered/ upset? If I am not doing great, I avoid talking on the phone… or do you feel used a little, and you think she just isn’t caring enough about what you have done? I’m sorry 🙁 I understand!
Post # 7
You are indeed a good friend. I would start preparing how you will respond at the end of the week when she still has no job and no place to live.
Post # 8
Let me tell you that you are very generous letting her stay for a whole week! Including meals? You are a great “sister” but try hard to limit your finances to “helping” and hope she gets a job soon!
Maybe she’s too embarrassed to call and talk “face to face”? It is easier to say thank you in a text message than to say it. AND is she worried about a lecture from you? She may just be wanting not to talk about her problems right now and think you may open all that “discussion” that she does not want to hear at this moment…..
Post # 9
I need to check my calendar it could be the time of the month why I am so emotional. She is very hard on the outside and I have never seen her soft side so it could be that she is embarrassed to call me. I have no ideas what her plans are and a bad storm just passed through that area so I already called and booked a room at a different hotel for her for next week with my discount just in case she calls and needs it.
I can’t imagine how she is feeling right now her freaking blood cousin putting her and her daughter out in a strange city in the middle of the night. I guess I might be acting a little selfish. I swear the older I get the more emotional I get about stuff. I’m turning into my mother.
Post # 10
@mrsjjohnson2b: You are totally not selfish. You’re selfless. And yes, the polite thing for her to do would be to call (at a minimum). I hope you didn’t get that I though you were over-emotional from my post. I just think that your friend is super stressed and quite possibly embarrassed, so her lack of communication and gratitude is unfortunate but understandable/explainable.
Securing something for the following week is so generous. You deserve some major props, IMO. 🙂