(Closed) Some things require a phone call and not a text message.

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsjjohnson2b:  Totally understandable. I will say that first of all, you’re an awesome friend! That is so very kind and generous of you to do for her and her daughter. 

For things like this, try to think of why she wouldn’t call. Is she very emotional and feels she would break down on the phone? She could be trying to be tough for the kiddo. She may be very busy with finding work and figuring things out. Aaaand, she could just not realize that this is something that deserves more than a text.

All in all, no matter what, try to focus on the positive feeling you get by helping her, and take any sort of thank you/contact as just an added bonus and as a reminder that you’ve helped her so much. Any expressing thanks in the way she feels comfortable is still a thank you, and that’s the takehome. It’s taken me a long time to learn that I should try give without expectation (even totally justifiable expectations such as a phone call) and just let my happiness be the reward. The rest is just extra. 

PS- Just wante to reiterate, you are a very kind and generous friend. 

Post # 4
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You definitely sound like you have went way above and beyond to help her out. I would expect a phone call if I had just done that for a friend of mine too. However, maybe she is embarrassed that she had to go to you for that big of a favor?

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

so you are paying for a hotel for a friend to stay in for a week and you dont even get a phone call from her?

i suggest she is stressed plus having to care for daugther has been her priority but i can totally understand how you are feeling – your karma bank has to be overflowing

Post # 6
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Is it possible she is just flustered/ upset?  If I am not doing great, I avoid talking on the phone… or do you feel used a little, and you think she just isn’t caring enough about what you have done?  I’m sorry 🙁  I understand!

Post # 7
Member
46467 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are indeed a good friend. I would start preparing how you will respond at the end of the week when she still has no job and no place to live.

Post # 8
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Let me tell you that you are very generous letting her stay for a whole week! Including meals? You are a great “sister” but try hard to limit your finances to “helping” and hope she gets a job soon!

Maybe she’s too embarrassed to call and talk “face to face”? It is easier to say thank you in a text message than to say it. AND is she worried about a lecture from you? She may just be wanting not to talk about her problems right now and think you may open all that “discussion” that she does not want to hear at this moment…..

 

Post # 10
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsjjohnson2b:  You are totally not selfish. You’re selfless. And yes, the polite thing for her to do would be to call (at a minimum). I hope you didn’t get that I though you were over-emotional from my post. I just think that your friend is super stressed and quite possibly embarrassed, so her lack of communication and gratitude is unfortunate but understandable/explainable.

Securing something for the following week is so generous. You deserve some major props, IMO. 🙂

The topic ‘Some things require a phone call and not a text message.’ is closed to new replies.

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