Post # 1
In full disclosure, I’m not pregnant. But this is a scenario I’ve discussed with other people and I’ve gotten some polarized reactions. I think it’s totally fair and reasonable to lie if you want if someone asks, “Are you pregnant?” and you’re not ready to tell. I don’t care if you’re 10 weeks or 30 weeks and it’s obvious. I consider it a ‘white lie’ of sorts. As soon as you tell one person, the cat is out of the bag and you’ll likely be forced to tell everyone – or otherwise said person may be ‘slipping’ to others.
Someone *else* I know thinks that’s completely dishonest and that the truth should be told whenever people ask. I see that as a gateway to people getting uptight and angry (“You told so-and-so first and not me!” or “So-and-so told me you’re pregnant, why didn’t you tell me?”).
What are your opinions?
Post # 3
if your not ready to tell dont tell! because that person will tell at least one person, and so-on and so-on. the cat would be outta the bag.
Post # 4
I think it’s messed up that anyone would ask. What if the answer to that question really is no? What if that person has been trying for a while? I think it’s time to start educating others that the question is not appropriate to ask someone.
Post # 5
Haha not only do I lie, but I lie in some awful way that makes the person feel bad about asking at all, because I am attempting to train humankind to stop asking this question one person at a time! When I was newly pregnant and went for a night out with a big group but wasn’t drinking, someone just HAD to do the whole “omigod are you pregnant?!?!?” I responded by calling tears to my eyes and telling them that no, I was having some health problems and had been told by my doctor not to drink for a while. I threw in a little “not that it’s any of your business” for good measure. And they were so sorry they asked.
Of course, when I actually announced that I was pregnant, they weren’t mad or anything — they thought it was funny that I had so thoroughly duped them. DON’T ASK RUDE QUESTIONS AND I WON’T GIVE RUDE ANSWERS! Haha but my approach probably won’t work for everyone
Post # 6
@CookieCreamCakes: First of all, people should know asking if a woman is pregnant is never a good idea! 🙂 Like me most days, she might just be carrying around a food baby…
I see no problem with using a white lie in this instance if you actually are pregnant. It is no one’s business but your own! Especially if you are doing it for your own emotional well-being (you aren’t yet past the first trimester).
Post # 7
I completely agree that this is an insanely rude question for anyone to point blank ask. However, when I was newly pregnany, I got asked point blank are you pregnant a few times when we went out, and I wasn’t drinking. These were not even close friends or anything.
I just would say no and leave it at that.
Post # 8
I had people make hints like “haha unless you’re pregnant already” etc.. those kinds of things when I was in early pregnancy but no one flat out asked me.
After I revealed it I said something like “hah! remember when you said “X” well ya, I was pregnant then”.
I didn’t take it too seriously but that’s because no one actually inquired seriously about me being pregnant or not but I wouldn’t (and didn’t) tell anyone even when they joked about it.
Post # 9
I think its SO RUDE to ask. I had someone comment on my Facebook status and ask me one time, and she got a big rumor started! I made her feel like an ass by telling her that actually we were having a really hard time getting pregnant, but thanks for making me feel like shit on a semi-public forum like Facebook. I don’t think she’s ever asked anyone again
Post # 10
What the heck!? I’m not pregnant either, but if someone directly asked me that I would call them out for being rude and totally avoid answering the question. Now if it was done indirectly like somebody asking if we wanted to have kids soon I would probably avoid it in a different way by saying “It will happen when it happens.” I don’t think people need to know anything if you’re not ready to tell them and there’s always a way of escape if you can think quickly enough.
Post # 11
I would lie. I wouldn’t even worry about it being a white lie and feel ok because it’s not their buisness.
Post # 12
One of my good friends mothers was a little upset about accidently getting pregnant with her 3rd. When people asked if she was pregnant again she would say “NO! I’M JUST FAT!!”
That would shut them up!
Post # 13
@iarebridezilla: Hahahaha! I love that. I must save that in my arsenol of witty trickery.
Post # 14
I would lie through my teeth and not feel even the smallest bit of remorse. None of their business!
Post # 15
@wederly: Haha I kind of loved it. The best part is, if they get mad later and are like “I can’t believe you lied to me! I was really worried about you!” you have a built-in response: “I can’t believe YOU asked me such an unbelievably rude and intrusive question and then honestly expected me to answer it.” Since they’re the one that messed up first, you’re totally off the hook for whatever you want to say in response
Post # 16
@CookieCreamCakes: Nothing wrong with saying “no” when asked, if you’re not ready to spill the beans. Even if its just so you can tell OTHER people before telling that particular social “layer”
I remember at an IL family reuniun, a cousin announced a pregnancy, but asked everyone not to post on FB or spread it around, so she could be the one to tell everyone. Didn’t work; it was all over FB before the end of the party. You can’t trust people not to tell.