(Closed) Someone else is taking care of my baby and I hate it!

posted 4 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

(hugs)

I think you should consider working someplace else, even if it’s starbucks, for the next week until you adjust and the babysitter and baby get into a routine.

Post # 3
Member
3579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I am a nanny and have worked in many situations like this. I think you will get used to it, and I guarantee you daycare would be worse. After all, at least this way you’ve got one person caring for your baby with you in the next room, instead of 2 people caring for 10 babies with you miles away.  Keep positive about how lucky you are to come into the next room and see him when you want. 

If it interres with your work, I highly recommend going to the library, a starbucks, etc. for a few hours. That is what a lot of the moms I have worked for do.

Post # 4
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee

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whitums:  It’s very, very difficult to allow someone else to watch your child at first because as a parent, you feel like that’s your job and no one else’s. I second trying to find a new place to work, even if its somewhere where noise doesn’t carry as much in your home. The babysitter and your child need to learn one another so give them that opportunity for a bit. If it’s still looking like its not working out, then reassess. I would imagine your post-partum hormones aren’t helping at all with your emotions. Babies cry and he’s very used to you and just you, so his routine is a little different and will take some getting used to. He will adjust and so will you.

Focus on the positive: how lucky you are that you can go and see him whenever you want, and the nanny can call you to show you each milestone he hits. You’ll never miss a moment, never be stuck commuting trying to get home to him because you’re right there.

Hang in there. The days will get easier.

Post # 6
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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whitums:  It’s understandable, though. I imagine that I’d have similar fears. Did she come well recommended? Getting to know her over the next week or two should help a lot.

I haven’t been through this myself so unfortunately I can’t give you a ton of advice, but it sounds like you’re on the right path. Trust your instincts but don’t let the worst case scenario thinking become harmful. Best wishes, I hope it gets better soon!

Post # 7
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

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whitums:  I can imagine that being so hard! When I nannied in the past, I did this several times. Let me tell you, it’s probably equally hard on your sitter. She wants to care for your son in the best way possible, but she hasn’t learned his cry the way you have! Imagine if you cc’ed your boss on every email, if he listened into every call and was constantly thinking, “I know this client; she should have done X.” It would be madness!

I think now is even more important than later to get out of the house and give them a chance. The space will probably be good for the both of you. The hardest thing for me was when I worked for a father with a home office who would routinely duck in to say hello for 5 minutes every hour or so. It was so hard to establish a rhythm with that child, because every hour, I had to soothe her when her dad left again.

Post # 8
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I was a licensed family child care provider for 13 years until my son went into Jr high… ..its hard on the kids to have both mom and the provider nearby.. They need to be able to trust and establish a connection with their new care provider …take some time to get out of the house. You need it and so do they . it will get better 

Post # 9
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Also I watched my first niece for a few months when her mom went back to work. It took me a little bit to recognize her cries and fusses and so I could know what she needed quickly. So I agree with PP go work somewhere quiet until your sitter gets to know the baby well and it will be much smoother I bet. 

Post # 10
Member
6518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
whitums:  honestly, reading this post I got a little upset, and let me explain why. I don’t have the luxury to work from home. I have to travel over an hour to get to work, and my daughter is in daycare for 11hours a day. ELEVEN! Its terribly heartbreaking to leave her every.single.morning. Granted I love the caretakers, so this makes it slightly easier, the women that work there are truly amazing, but I want to be the one to take care of her on a day to day basis. But I can’t. Financially, its just not possible. The plan is to buy a house in 4 years, and then once we have a house, I will work part time so that I can pick her up from school and be there for her. But this is still heartbreaking because I feel like now is the time that I need to be there for her.

So, my advice to you is to look at the positive, yes, someone is helping you watch your baby while you work, but you can see him all day. And when he cries, if you can, go into the room for a second and tell the sitter the reason why he is crying, this will help her recognize his needs 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I admire you ladies so much!! I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom and I’m so grateful to have that luxury.. your babies are so lucky to have such wonderful moms who go out to work to make that much needed $ and they will appreciate their moms for it so much when they’re older.

I agree with PPs, if I had to work I would go work at Starbucks, and as someone suggested, if you know the reason the baby is crying, you can tell the sitter – I’m sure she won’t mind a few helpful suggestions.. I know I would appreciate suggestions if I was babysitting someone else’s child.

Post # 12
Member
86 posts
Worker bee

I feel the same way! Working and having babies is much more difficult than I expected. I struggle with wanting to be a Mom and work. I’m realizing it’s not possible to do both 100%.

Originally we had a sitter come to the house as I also work from home and I hated hearing my baby cry. It was so hard to work when my heart wanted to be with my baby. Know she goes to daycare and I find it much easier. I can focus on work and I know she is having fun with the other kids.

 

Post # 13
Member
3728 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
whitums:  I’m so sorry. I’m going through this as well. I find it much, much easier to have him at the daycare across the street. He finds it easier too– he can’t smell me in the house, so he’s more content that I’m not holding him.

Post # 14
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I didn’t read through all of the replies, but I will say that at least you are in the same home with him, and you KNOW what is going on (as opposed to daycare where you have no idea who is watching, what is happening, etc). Is there a way where you could adjust your schedule maybe work more at night to spend time with him during the day? 

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