Post # 1
I’m so tired of this topsy turvey heart wrenching, stomach churning, panic inducing ride and I want off! It sucks so much that once you start thinking about it and talking about it, you can never go back.
My SO and I started talking about getting engaged about a two years ago and ever since it’s been, this year for sure, this year for sure. I finally got to the point where I was resigned that if it happened it happened, if it didn’t, oh well. But then, he brought it up again. Now he’s saying this year for sure (again). The only problem is, he wants to make sure that we have adequate savings before he buys a ring, which I can respect. The problem is, we also have a lot of trips planned this year and his plan to pay for those is to take out whatever we have in savings over the set amount. But that is his plan for buying a ring too. There is no way to do both.
I wouldn’t give up the trips we’re taking or the life we’re living to be able to get a ring instead. But I wish he would stop getting my hopes up, I’m sure that’s not his intention, but every time I ask him about he plans to pay for all of this he says, “Just trust me.”
Sigh. It’s just hard.
Post # 3
Wow, that’s a long time to be waiting! I’ve only been waiting four months and feel like I want to pull my hair out some days. You are an infinitely more paitent person than I am.
I’m sorry it’s so hard. I’m also jealous of you though because you get to travel which is something I’ve never had the chance to do. The first big trip for me will be Alaska for our honeymoon next August. I’m blessed to live in a beautiful state that I love exploring but it doesn’t quite compare to traveling.
Good luck and I hope he doesn’t keep getting your hopes up!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
My SO is asking me to trust him too. which I HAVE to do. If that is all he is asking of me. If he says this year then he has got another 5 Months to plan and save. new years eve is a ways away. hang in there
Post # 5
@MissComicBook: Trust me I understand! My SO kept showing me jewlery store cards whenever he came back from them. OVER A YEAR AND A HALF AGO this started. Then one day he comes home, I was in a bad mood, And he said I FOUND THE RING I WANT TO GET YOU. Still nothing. He wants to save up for it, but spends all his money on his motorcycle and his truck. UGH
I wish there was a bar for waiting girls so I can go there and VENT ! lol
Good luck waiting and maybe he will propose on one of the trips!!!
Post # 6
It’s your engagement and your wedding, too. If being engaged sooner is more important than the ring, sacrifice the ring. Or propose to him. You are in control of this if you want to be.
Post # 7
@MissComicBook: men can be very cruel, we enjoy travelling as well, which is prob why we’re not engaged yet. But, you’ve got dreams as well and their important. i hope you get through to him
Post # 8
A watched pot never boils, my dear. Put your focus and your energies on other things, and let it happen when it happens.
When he sees your attention going to other things, he may relax and find he’s ready.
Post # 9
@MissComicBook: Hahah, LOVE your bee name!
Ah yes, some days I literally sit in my bathtub after eating 1/4 a gallon of ice cream and cry because I think there’s something wrong with me but mostly, I know that it will come. And when it does I will cry, tears of JOY not sadness.
So I’m just going to cry either way! 🙂
Post # 10
Ahh its so depressing some days isnt it!! Try knowing that your boyfriend had 10x the amount needed in his bank account to buy you a ring, but that still didnt make a difference!! They just need the time to do things their way and you do have to trust them – annoying as it is!
Post # 11
Ughh I always get the “trust me” response too!.. I’d love to if only I didn’t think it was just a stall tactic since I’m pretty sure he has nothing in the works.. And I’ve been waiting over a year and a half so I know how you feel 🙁
Post # 12
Thanks ladies for all your advice.
He has technically already asked, so we are technically engaged, but it is very important to him that he gets his chance to get down on bended knee and give me a “real” engagement. I’ve told him the ring doesn’t matter and it can be from a cracker jack box, but he is really hell bent on doing it “right.” Which I can respect. So it’s just all about waiting.
We try very hard to make traveling a priority, we’ve been to New Orleans twice, Chicago twice, and we make lots of trips to Michigan for various things. This year alone we’ve gone to a comicon in Michigan, we are going to two concerts this summer in Ohio, another comicon in Chicago, a family/anniversary trip in North Carolina, Thanksgiving with his family in California, and a football game in Detriot. It’s craziness planning it all and knowing how much it will cost and knowing for that we could get three rings. Sigh.
I want that bar too!
I’m trying so hard, but we just moved less than a year ago and I’m having a hard time putting roots down. All I do is work and spend time with him because I don’t anyone or anything else.
Thanks! I actually changed it to this recently, I wanted something that reflected me more. 🙂 I’m a super geek and proud of it.