Post # 1
I am a regular bee but i needed a new username to post this. Me and my FH have been together since we were young me 17 and him 19. Recently we broke up and got back together, I asked him if he was 100% sure and he said yes (this was the begining of may mind you). Yesterday after we had SEX!!! He tells me he doesnt know if he wants to be with me!!. Reason is hes almost 24 and hasnt been in school and hasn’t worked since 2 years ago. He feels like he needs to get his life together for me and my son but I would be a distraction! And that he’s not sure but he’s 70/30 about it. 70% he wants me 30% he’s not sure.
He says he’s thinking about it because he wants to do better for us, and wants to come back after he’s done and pick up where we left off. To me i feel like if you want to make things better for your family why cant you do it WITH your family. And how does he expect me to wait months maybe years for him. Im at such a loss right now he’s telling me he’ll make up his mind by next week, but I feel like I would be stupid to wait for him to make up his mind. He says he still loves me and cares but he doesnt want to have to worry about me,so then like is he gonna forget about me.
I feel like he has some type of feeling like im suppose to be here, and always stick by his side and im never going anywhere. I feel like he doesn’t realize what he has. My question is do I wait or should I just call it quits for a while until he knows 100% he wants me. Or should I let it go for good.
Post # 3
Sorry for the craziness he is putting you through. From expierence I would call it off and live your life. You don’t want someone who is not sure about your relationship. It will make you miserable and you will break up in the end. There is always a chance that you will get back together but you can’t put your life on hold waiting for someone to make a decision.
Post # 4
@cincity75:In a way i wish he would give us a chance but am i stupid for trying to make him see we can work out while he’s in school or working.
Post # 5
Marriage is for better or for worse and it doesn’t sound like he knows what he wants. Honestly, if I were you, I would move on. He sounds like he’s already partly checked out of the relationship. And you could be waiting for a long time….and that’s really not fair to you or to your marriage.
Post # 6
@lostgirl84: My opinion would be to let him go and move on with your life. I think you hit the nail on the head saying that he should be able to do this WITH you. You’re young, there will be plenty of obstacles in your life and you will be much better off finding someone who will endure them with you, not runaway or cut you off. If he gets his life together later on down the road and your paths cross again, that would be great, but don’t wait for it.
Post # 7
At this point, he doesn’t deserve you. If he wants to turn his life around and be a better person for you, breaking up with you isn’t going to do that. There’s absolutely no reason why he can’t turn his life around while still being with you if he really wants to be with you. It sounds like he’s using those reasons as an excuse, and not a very good one.
Don’t wait for him to decide if he still wants to be with you. You deserve someone who can’t live without you and knows it.
Post # 8
Is he the father of your son?
Post # 9
I’m sorry you are going through this. He doesn’t get to keep you and your son waiting while he decides if you are in his future. If I was in your shoes, I would start moving forward. You have to do what’s best for you and your child, and confusion is never good. If he decides to come back to you later, the ball will be in your court. If you want him back, then you can try again. If you get tired of waiting, and move on in your life, then it’s his loss.
Sending you strength and loving thoughts. ((((HUGS))))
Post # 10
Time to move on.
I think he is trying to soften the blow by making statements about coming back and picking up where you left off after he has “done better.”
30% doubt is a whole lotta doubt in my opinion.
Post # 11
@Moose1209: Does it matter? If so, he can be a father without them being together.
@lostgirl84: I agree with the PP, I think you should move on. It does sound like he’s already checked out of the relationship. Not only is it unfair to you for him to ‘him and haw’ about leaving you, but to expect you to then wait around for him. You deserve better, and so does your son.
Post # 12
Thank you all for your post we ended it today. I feel lost because it’s what im use to but im at ease also. Im not saying its easy but Its what I have to do anyone been in a similar situation with any advice.