(Closed) Someone posted my invite on social media!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Facebook has made everyone forget etiquette. Everything is thrown up there without thinking. Don’t take it personally.

Post # 19
Member
3606 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, your friend is clueless. It’s great that she’s excited for you, and it’s true that the people you don’t invite are eventually going to find out that you got married without them, but this is still a big no. Ask her to take it down citing privacy concerns and not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings (aka not wanting open yourself up to people badgering you over invitations).

Post # 20
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Not to mention a whole slew of people will know your home will be empty that day and the days following! That’s just asking for a buglary!

Post # 21
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

View original reply
misswhereami:  this happened to us too, but with a save the date. We are lucky enough to have invited all who matter that much to us so I wasn’t worried, but I did eonder whether she thought it through befire posting the pic on Fb. However I was suddenly being not-so-nicely teased be her fb-friends for sending the STDs so early (unusual here but we have guests in several different countries). That was quite rude. And these were grown ups :/

I do think you should ask her to take it down. You have every right!! She should not have posted it in the first place. 

Post # 22
Member
2501 posts
Sugar bee

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misswhereami:  i get the rudeness part of it; it’s just in poor taste to “flaunt” an invitation as you put it. my point was more that, given that it’s already been posted – what is there really to be gained by getting upset over it? your name, your parents names – that’s all a matter of public record. your names are actually not private at all. once the wedding is over, neither is the date or place of marriage either, for that matter (as long as your wedding is the actual legal marriage ceremony); again, it’s a matter of public record. the only reason, it seems, to want to keep it a secret is because you’re worried about wedding crashers – which, if you have any, are likely not a product of your friend’s post anyway.

basically, i can understand not wanting it posted to start with; and your friend clearly got excited and didn’t think things through; but it’s sort of spilled milk now, ya know? and i just don’t get getting upset like some of the other posters here over spilled milk.

Post # 23
Member
4298 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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misswhereami:  While I personally don’t see what the big deal is, if it makes you uncomfortable than you are absolutely within your right to ask her to take it down. Be nice about it, as not everyone may automatically understand why it is something that bothers you. If someone posted my invitation online, I don’t know that I’d bat an eye. It’s not a secret that I’m getting married and if they are just posting “Hey guys, everyone’s invited to my cousin’s wedding!” I wouldn’t get overly anxious about it. I think this was just a case of your friend not pausing to think about how YOU would feel to see your invite posted online versus how SHE feels about it.

Post # 24
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Harn Homestead

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misswhereami:  Yes! It needs to be taken down, not only can people crash it but it could be a security hazard. I have made it clear mine does NOT go in any photo where anything can be seen about date and time. As we have estranged family, a guest who’s ex tried to kill her and so on! Last thing I need is someone uninvited to show up, luckily I have security and they will have photos of the family members i do not want to step foot in my ceremony and a photo of the family friends crazy ex.

Post # 25
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

 

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ilovesophia:  

the types of people who are insistent on crashing your wedding are going to find out where/when your wedding is SOMEHOW. and normal people are not going to randomly show up to a wedding that they weren’t invited to just because they saw the invite on social media.

It’s the not-normal people showing up that’s the problem.  It does happen.  Added to the fact that it’s advertising that your home will be empty is asking for trouble.  That’s “really the concern here.”

 

Post # 26
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
misswhereami:  FFS! Some people really are clueless!

Yes, deep breath and give her a ring and tell her you’re so excited she’s excited but could she please take the invite down as you don’t want people you haven’t been able to invite to see it. Do it like it’s not a biggy. I would do it by text or messaging as it’s hard to get the tone right  

Honestly, she meant no harm but how can she be sure that neither you nor your fI have crazy exes/ relatives who have no business knowing the time and location of your wedding?

Post # 27
Member
2501 posts
Sugar bee

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WallNut:  but my point is that the not-normal people will find out anyway, as a prevoius poster attested to. if i’m intent on crashing your wedding, i’ll find a way to find out when and where it is, regardless of whether the invite is posted on social media. and as for the house thing…that’s just being paranoid. do you not post vacation photos on social media? do you not go to work every day? facebook is hardly the plot of Home Alone. if you’re that worried, get a home security system.

Post # 28
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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ilovesophia:  Lol at the plot of Home Alone.

Of course maybe the OP isn’t the type of person to check in everywhere she goes.  I’m pretty discreet on facebook so having my invite posted would tick me off, I mentioned my wedding exactly zero times apart from status changes to engaged and married.  Even that I was leery of but I couldn’t think of a lazier way to annouce my engagement.

Post # 29
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Thats rude, I would ask her to take it down immediately

Post # 30
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
ilovesophia:  I think you have a point! As sock. As I read this I thought “but what about weddings websites?” We have put detailed directions to our ceremony, reception and all the regular info on our site to prevent guests from calling me day of– anyone who can google can find out all the details and come crash! but unfortunate the OP had to confront the issue none the less… Technology! Am I right!

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