(Closed) Someone posted my invite on social media!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

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ilovesophia:  Can’t count on that.  Complete strangers can/will see that post at some point unless the person who posted it doesn’t tag anyone and has their FB as secure as possible.  People troll newspaper obits looking for times when homes will be empty.  People also troll facebook looking for opportunities for nefarious acts.

Post # 32
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Oops, I’m totally guilty of doing this last year.

In my defense, I live abroad and only received the invitation a few days before the RSVP deadline. I thought it would be easier to just reply in an instagram post, so I filled in the RSVP card, snapped a photo of it and tagged the bride. There weren’t really any identifying details showing (aside from the names of the couple and the date) – no parent’s names, city/state or venue of the reception, etc. We also have zero friends in common, aside from my sister who was her maid of honor. I just thought it would be a nice way to show her that 1) I received her mail, 2) I was excited about attending, especially given the fact that we aren’t all that close and 3) I figured with the time and energy spent on such pretty invitations it would be nice to publicly ackowledge how impressed I was.

My account is private and, like I said, we have no other friends in common, but I really had no idea it was such a big faux pas. It makes sense – I feel really silly now! I’m not even that addicted to social media, I just generally interact with the bride on the site and didn’t even think about the possible negative consequences. Oh well, wedding went on without a hitch (and no party crashers!)

Post # 33
Member
921 posts
Busy bee

I think you should make a Facebook post including their address and that they’re having a house party at their place this weekend. When they ask you to take down the post, say you’ll take it down if they take down your wedding post.

Post # 34
Member
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That’s good that she was nice enough to take it down. Sometimes we don’t realize the implications of the things we do. 

Post # 35
Member
2170 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes ask her to i take it down. why would she have to post a pic of your invite? why couldn’t she just say she was excited to see you get married? smh

Post # 36
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

People can debate forever about what will REALLY come of having posted the wedding info on Facebook, but the fact remains it’s information about exactly where specific people will be at a specific date and time, and the liberty to share that information with anyone rests firmly in the hands of those individuals named on the invitation. If the bride and groom want to share their info on a public forum, they’ll do so. I’m sure the guest meant no harm, and OP said the guest apologized and took it down, so that’s great, but I can’t get on board with the idea that OP was overreacting or that it’s a non-issue.

I, as a wedding invitee, have no idea whether the bride, for example, has a nutjob/abusive ex who will see the post through a friend of a friend who comments on the post and decide to show up and cause a problem. And if anyone thinks I’m being paranoid with that example, I invite them to spend a few years working in the criminal justice system. People still treat the internet (and the world) like it’s a playground where bad guys don’t hang out. It’s not.

Post # 37
Member
14030 posts
Honey Beekeeper

That was incredibly clueless. I’m glad she didn’t give you a hard time and hopefully she won’t do this to anyone else. 

Beyond the “rob my house” issue, I thought adults are supposed to be mature enough to know not to talk about a party to which others aren’t invited. Posting an invitation is a lot of nerve, but so is posting photos of other people’s wedding receptions, after the fact, making it obvious who was there etc.  

Post # 38
Member
1010 posts
Bumble bee

I saw the update, so I won’t comment on that, but, and this is just a reminder and hopefully helpful to maybe someone out there. 

So a few days ago, a friend of mine who I’ve known was getting married for awhile, but never received an invitation and figured no biggie… I’m not invited I’m sure it’s small, well he posted the website link to facebppl and said “hey guys… here is our website! Don’t forget to RSVP!” So of course I checked it out, and clicked RSVP just to see what it said (different ones are different) and it said “find my invite” so again, beimg curious, I clicked, and well, it ended up rsvp’ing me…. oops. Turns out i wasn’t the only one. Worked out though because she wanted to invite his friends, he didn’t give a list, but could have turned out really bad… 

Post # 39
Member
14030 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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futuremrsc2016:  So did she end up with extra guests? I think a lot of people would consider that to be an open FB invitation. Even if it’s not what they intended, that’s what it was. 

Post # 40
Member
1010 posts
Bumble bee

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weddingmaven:  well it’s til the end of this month, but we’ll see what happens. On the other hand, I’m not sure how many others will go to the site, click RSVP and type in their name to see if they were invited. In a way it was funny, but I feel sorry for the bride. It’s the groom I’ve known for years, but she’s really sweet.

Post # 41
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think exactly what you posted is what you should tell her – 

I don’t want anyone who I am not inviting to see, because I feel like that would be rude and make them feel uncomfortable.

 

 

Post # 42
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’ve always heard that it’s such poor etiquette to post details about your wedding on social media especially if you’re not inviting everyone on your friends list, I’d be pissed too! Ask her to take it down. My best friend did this after I got engaged… she posted a picture of me posing with my ring and I hadn’t even told all of my family members yet! I was livid. I asked her to take it down because I didn’t want it on Facebook for the whole world to see. 

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