(Closed) Someone who isn't invited offered to host a shower

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
3728 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Can you ask your Mother-In-Law for advice? It may be able in her family this is perfectly normal or she can tread the subject with them

Post # 3
4055 posts
Honey bee

I agree with PP: ask your Mother-In-Law for advice. Who knows, maybe she’ll offer to pay for them 😜

Post # 4
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Agh that’s a tough one.  I hate to say it but if you can afford to cough up the 500 I would totally do it. I don’t think I could handle having a bridal shower thrown by someone who wasn’t invited nor would I like to tell someone outright they aren’t invited.  obviously if you can’t afford it then this solutuon won’t help much.

Post # 5
6170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Make it a cash shower and pay the 500 more 😎

Post # 7
13612 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Either invite her or graciously turn down the shower. Personally, I’d turn it down because I would not be comfortable with a family member hosting in any case.  It was a generous offer, though,  and you’d still have to decide whether you want to invite this cousin and her family. 

If the PP was serious, cash showers are not appropriate. 

Post # 8
179 posts
Blushing bee

I would politely decline, either that or invite her to the wedding. 

Post # 9
25 posts

Do you have to invite the 3 children? Maybe compromise by inviting her and her husband – that way you don’t feel bad about leaving out someone who cared enough to host a shower, and it’s only $200 over budget.

Post # 10
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I agree with PPs – I’d speak with your Future Mother-In-Law to see what she thinks. However, I still think I’d be more inclined to decline the shower all together, as it’s likely that the cousins organising it are going to invite a whole bunch of people who aren’t invited to the wedding.

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